We break down why León is actually named after Roman legions and not lions, the absolute scam that is the Parisian tourism trap, and why Chef thinks Kiko is being a "little bitch" for not being able to sleep in hotel beds. We also get into the important stuff: a city-wide Tapa competition where you get free food with every drink. Seriously, Madrid needs to take notes because those "community peanuts" everyone touches are not it.

We also dissect the trauma of a "no kids allowed" birthday party in Miami, where the only thing more aggressive than the 18% service charge is a 45-year-old trying to "get low" on the dance floor and pulling a hamstring in the process. Plus, we talk church requirements for getting married in Spain and why some US churches look more like cubicles than holy sites.