We have to learn to simultaneously talk back to our brain to tell it to hush and listen to what the other person is saying. Recognize the feelings that start to come up.

If you need time to process what was said because your emotions are too high- ask for some time to think about what they said.

Questions to ask yourself

“Why is what they are saying making me feel ( judged, criticized, or not good enough) ?”

“What is my brain making this mean?”

This is a story my brain is telling me- but is it actual fact? Is this what they are actually saying? Most likely it is not.

Do a thought download - write it all out

They said words, these words made me feel, I feel this way because

This will reveal to you the story that your brain is telling you- this will reveal the real reason why you feel an urgency,  ...