What Makes You, You? The Puzzle of Personality Through Science and Play with Dr. Sanna Balsari-Palsule
In a world obsessed with self-discovery and self-optimization, personality has become a billion-dollar obsession. From dating apps to hiring decisions, courtroom strategies to TikTok therapy-speak, we’re constantly trying to decode ourselves—and each other. But how well do we really understand what makes us us? This week, we sit down with Dr. Sanna Balsari Palsule—psychologist, behavioral scientist, and co-creator of a wildly original game called Who Are You? that helps people reflect on their inner lives. With a background in personality psychology and a mind deeply attuned to the nuances of human behavior, Sanna guides us through the surprising history of personology, the rise of personality testing as a cultural phenomenon, and what the science actually says about traits like introversion, extroversion, and everything in between. We explore why the most popular personality tests are often the least accurate, how personality is both shaped and distorted by culture and social media, and whether “authenticity” is now just another form of performance. Can you fake it till you become it? Do we have different personalities online and offline? Is your workplace self the real you—or just a highly adapted version? And when people say they want to “change,” what are they really trying to change? We also dive into the psychological and physical toll of pretending to be someone you’re not, and ask: Can personality actually evolve over time, or is who you are mostly fixed? And what does it take to shift? This is an episode for anyone who’s ever taken a personality test, second-guessed who they are, or wondered if change is possible—or even desirable. Recommended for listeners curious about: The science and myth of personality Identity in the age of social media Authenticity and self-expression Behavioral psychology and everyday life About Dr. Sanna Linnea Balsari-Palsule: She is a psychologist, researcher, and creator whose work reshapes how we understand personality in an age obsessed with self-optimization. With a background in cognitive science and a Ph.D. in personality psychology, her research interrogates how identity is formed, performed, and reimagined—online, at work, and in our most intimate relationships. She is the creator of Who Are You, an award-winning card game that invites players to reflect on the tensions between authenticity, aspiration, and adaptation in modern life. Her insights have been featured in The Atlantic, BBC News, Refinery29, Psychology Today, and Fast Company, where she speaks to a generation fluent in therapy-speak but still searching for grounded ways to make sense of themselves. Whether she’s exploring the curated selves of social media or the psychological cost of work personas, Dr. Balsari-Palsule offers a rare combination of intellectual rigor and deep empathy—inviting us to consider not just who we are, but who we’re becoming.