Dog Mauling: USPS worker breaks down on a remote road and in horrific fashion gets mauled by a pack of dogs. 

Drunk Newscaster: Heather Kovar gives the most entertainment local news report ever by simply showing up drunk. 

McDonalds Murder Suspect: Some She Hulk talks leads us to a murder suspect that called the police to McDonalds over cold fries. 

A PILE OF SHIT HAS A THOUSAND EYES!, STAND BY ME!, NOFX!, THE LONGEST LINE!,  STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO!, BOWLING FOR SOUP!, I HAVE DOWNS!, DON'T LET ME DOWN!, THE BEATLES!,  SOUNDS OF A BLACK HOLE JIM!, DEAF COMMUNITY!, HANDICAP!, CLASSICAL RETARD!, GIMP!, JACK IN THE BOX!, ANIMAL!, HIGH FUNCTIONING!, SKREETS!, TURNING IT ON AND OFF!, SURGERY!, RAMBO!, NOTHING IS OVER!, DOG MAULING!, USPS!, DEATH!, PACK OF DOGS!,  THREAT!, BULLD ...