Less Surface Level
by Tessa Lloyd
Queerness, identity, and all things that make us human. Hosted by Tessa Lloyd.
Podcast episodes
When it's time to leave a 12-year relationship, with Julia Gueller
In this conversation, Julia Gueller reflects on the emotional complexity of navigating a long-term relationship with a man while discovering romantic and sexual feelings for a woman. After being in a 12-year relationship, raising three children, and facing personal and family challenges, Julia found herself attracted to a woman they met regularly at a market. The relationship grew over time, but Julia took some time to acknowledge her romantic feelings. Despite recognising the disconnect in her relationship with her male partner, Julia found it difficult to admit that the relationship was no longer working. After an intimate moment with the woman, the speaker’s feelings intensified, leading to a conversation with her partner where they openly admitted their attraction to her. Although the partner initially seemed open to discussing the possibility of an open relationship, it became clear he was not ready for such a change, which opened up further conversations for them. I hope this episode brings clarity and hope to those navigating the confusion and judgment from friends, leading them to turn inward for reflection and decide whether to explore their sexuality or remain committed to their long-term relationship. Enjoy my loves. T. x
Falling in love with your female best friend, with Sianan Barr
Hello honeys. Today, Sianan reflects on her experience of exploring her sexuality during her school years, particularly through a close relationship with a female friend that, in hindsight, they recognise as their first love. Although they didn’t label it as such at the time, they shared intimate moments that went beyond friendship, and losing this friend—especially when they found out she was secretly involved with the speaker's boyfriend—was devastating. Sianan acknowledges that their feelings were confusing, especially since societal and school norms around queerness were negative, leading them to downplay or ignore their deeper emotions. They describe how such explorations were often dismissed as “just fun” in youth, masking the real significance of these relationships. The conversation touches on how many people may relate to the blurred lines between friendship and love in same-sex relationships, especially when there are no examples or role models of queer relationships to reference. We both take some time to reflect on the bravery in young people exploring their feelings without labels, despite the stigma and negative rhetoric around queerness in their adolescence. I hope you enjoy this one my loves. T x
"It's okay" with Ariela Jacobs
Ariela, an Artist and Psychotherapist shares her personal journey of self-discovery as a Queer woman living in Melbourne. Ariela speaks about her identity as a Lesbian and her experience with eating disorders, emphasising the importance of who you surround yourself with, and what has contributed to her personal growth.
Queer acceptance and celebration with Sammy Foster
Hello honeys and welcome back to the pod. In this Pride episode with Sammy Foster, we explore the significance of authenticity and self-acceptance as queer women, including the sharing of stories of our own personal growth. Tune in to hear about the highlights as well as the challenges of coming out at different stages of life. All my love, T x
Surviving and thriving with HIV, open-relationships and sexual pleasure with Brent Allan
Hey beautiful people. Please join me in welcoming Brent Allan to the podcast. Brent is a queer, neurodivergent, non-binary person who currently occupies several senior advisor positions focusing on sexual health and wellbeing programmes and policy development for global and domestic agencies and industry partners. They have been working in the community response to HIV and AIDS for over 30 years across various countries and have qualifications in health education, business and community services management. They also have public and social health experience with local, state and federal governments and global industries. Brent identifies as a non-binary person who has been living with HIV for over 25 years. They have been active in efforts to build the capacity of people living with HIV through advocacy, education and representation. They regularly provide technical assistance to global networks, governments, civil society and industry on matters of best practice in community-based services, research and development. Brent is a passionate advocate for civil society and consumer representation in health service policy, programming and evaluation. They have been a vocal advocate and champion for the rights of sex workers, people who use drugs and vulnerable and marginalised people working on the frontlines with gender and sexually diverse communities. Today I chat to Brent about some amazing topics, including this article: https://www.vice.com/en/article/k7zw9v/what-ive-learned-since-getting-a-glory-hole-in-my-home written by a dear friend of Brent. Have a read to know what we're referring to in the podcast. Thank you for being here, T x