The Holidays are very different now. This will be the second Christmas without Alex physically here. The First Christmas without him was soo hard, the second one is even harder. I felt like an alien last year around people who didn't understand my grief. This year I am spending Christmas cherishing memories of Alex and making him a red velvet cake. Holidays were a time that brought our family together, but when the glue of the family is missing, it just isn't the same. Now it is reality that he will never be at the Christmas table for dinner. Holidays weren't the same after my dad died in 2000 until I was blessed with a beautiful babyboy in 2005. I feel robbed of the holidays now and I have to learn to survive the waves of grief again, last year it felt like a dream, his death, now it is a reality everyday he really isn't coming back home. In thi ...