We may be done with Indiana Jones, but our treasure hunting continues all this month with a crew of imitators led by this week's protagonist, Nathan Drake! Unfortunately for us, this week is truly a worst version of a favorite thing, because we're experiencing his adventures by way of the 2022 Uncharted film. We do our best to withstand such rampant overuse of the bottle-playing scene, and to not be swayed by any of the film's "implicit messages," but if we're successful in those pursuits, it's probably just because we're too busy complaining about trees.

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