Never Better
Episode 25 – Knife Emoji Knife Emoji
Episode 24 – Harrison Ooh Street
Episode 23 – I'm Giving You The Meat Cubes
by Spencer, Michael, and Craig
You've bumbled onto center stage at Never Better, a show that never gets any better. That's right--now you're the host! Now you have to write all this pointless copy! Hope you know a thing or two about SEO, because I don't! This week, Spencer, Craig, and (due to vacation reasons) not Michael discuss train mistakes, executive production, celebrity self-delusion, and the importance of being kind to everyone no matter how unusual their job is. Also, we introduce a new segment in hopes of bringing the power of unfounded life advice back to the people. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!
You're perilously suspended from a thin, fraying rope over Never Better, a show that never gets any better. If you don't like pits full of hungry crocodiles, I suggest you don't look down. This week, after a brief and easily corrected mishap, Craig, Spencer, and Michael discuss gasoline protocol, newspaper thieves, packing disputes, and life-defining struggles with embarrassingly small objects. Plus, we offer a triple dose of our most enduring segment, Is It Weird. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!
You've moseyed into a ramshackle saloon by the name of Never Better, a bar that never gets any better. See that mysterious drifter seated at the back? Best not bother him, unless you'd rather yer chest had a couple extra holes in it. This week, Michael, Craig, and Spencer discuss cowboy facts, elevator etiquette, the peculiarities of Canadian language, trick foods, and the ethics of nutritive paste distribution. Also, Spencer talks about a restaurant he and his family are probably not welcome at anymore. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!
You've waltzed obliviously into a clandestine meeting of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. Where's your mask, novitiate? And what are you saying? "Fidelio?" Why, that's not your password. This week, Spencer, Michael, and Craig discuss malicious compliance, admitting defeat, getting lost in at laser tag, recurring dreams, and what is and isn't Modern Art. Plus, Craig makes a heartfelt apology to a party he refuses to name. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately! Episode art: McDonnell, T., & Burden, C. (1973). 747. photograph, Los Angeles.
You've found yourself surrounded by the most battle-hardened pikemen of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. Surrender now, listener, in the name of the Emperor, or you shall not live to see the sunset. This week, Craig, Spencer, and Michael discuss telephone etiquette, the recent salmon unpleasantness, grandpa tipping, General Booty, impassioned monologues, worrisome octopus behavior, and coworker dreams. Also, we take our first ever on-air caller, which goes about how you'd probably expect. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!
You've sunk neck-deep into the stifling marshes of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. Don't make any sudden moves. It'll only make things worse. This week, Michael, Craig, and Spencer discuss difficult names, dealership legends, early readers, courting disaster, monkey scams, and things you should and shouldn't do with silverware. Plus, we learn how to really mess with our dads, provided our dads are both A.) really into classic Volvos, and B.) endlessly gullible. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!
You've entered a tense, sweaty standoff with Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. Watch that trigger finger, boss. One false move and everyone at this table is blown to kingdom come. Speaking of kingdom come, this week, Spencer, Craig, Claire (!), and Michael discuss presidential Easter proclivities, the Harrowing of Hell, a deliciouss whodunit, zoo fundraising, and how to make new friends using only a stranger's credit card information. Also, Craig divulges his sad lizard history. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!
You've dropped a coin down into the deep, Stygian well of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. Any moment now, you're sure to hear it hit bottom. Any moment now. This week, Michael, Spencer, and Craig discuss rabies, robots, time capsules, romantic opportunity, George Foremaning your kids, and the ultimate galactic self-snitch. Plus, as you might have guessed, everyone participates in the first annual Never Better Spelling Bee. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!
You've smacked your forehead straight into the blunt metal edge of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. You feeling okay? You know what year it is? This week, Craig, Michael, and Spencer discuss dairy plausibility, lighthouse fanatics, bad idea bar tricks, wild historical names, the ethics of poetry interpretation, and yet another individual giving way too many details about their family life in the New York Times. Also, official show mascot Sadie the Cat completely derails the program for a little bit around the 47-minute mark. Thanks, Sadie. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!
You've rappelled down through the broken skylight of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. Now the only things between you and the Palimpsest of Jaqar are a randomized laser field and a dozen armed security guards. Go get 'em, tiger. This week, in an episode that makes up for its lack of runtime by also lacking in structure, Spencer, Craig, and Michael discuss flight simulators, MMORPG treachery, and how easy it is to do things in an emergency provided someone is walking you through it over an earpiece. Plus, Michael shares his baffling interpretation of the background character(s) of StarFox 64. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!