Never Better

by Spencer, Michael, and Craig

Comedy News Philosophy

Episode 15 – We Have To Have Tractor Beams

You've smacked a fly ball into the back yard of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. Oh, man. You're not getting that one back. This week, Michael, Spencer, and Craig discuss getting lost in your rock 'n' roll, road rage tools, wisdom tooth retention, springing forward forever, Universal Speed-Up Day, and the good Lord's favorite website. Also, Michael mixes up events from his life with things that happened in a movie, but not how you'd expect. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!

Episode 14 – I Am Going To Completely Drain The Ocean

You've driven your car through the front door of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. And who could blame you? We're all finally gathered in the same place again. You saw an opportunity, and you seized it. Good for you. This week, Michael, Craig, and Spencer discuss last week's debacle (for 1.5 seconds), Congressional testimony schemes, ffiigg nneewwttoonnss, William Jilliam, personal submersibles, airline pajamas, and the sort of thing that isn't our bag, baby. Additionally, Craig tattles on himself for no reason. NOTE: This episode contains relatively gruesome discussion of a horrendous bodily mishap around the 55-minute mark. Feel free to cut the whole thing off once the disclaimer kicks in if that bothers you. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!

Episode 13 – Crawlin', Rollin', Coastin', Creepin'

You've passed through the dingy mirror into the hostile, rust-tinted otherworld of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. Where's all that chanting coming from? Actually, you know what? Let's hope we don't find out. This week, Spencer, Craig, and Michael discuss car kickflips, wildlife encounters, toad poison, suspicious behavior, kind-hearted insults, and the appeal of making your own life a disaster. Also, Michael divulges yet another piece of his long history with harmful fumes. [See Episode 3 - We're Sleeping In The Car Tonight and Episode 1 - That Bank Was Robbed Many Times for further reference] Actual fox noise courtesy of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYyrGpJYRl0 ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!

Episode 12 – I Want You To Have My Palatial Estate

You've stepped over the glowing rune circle into the midst of Never Better, a show that’s never going to get any better. Fool! Do you realize what you've done? This week, Spencer, Craig, and Michael discuss AP Government, alumni donations, "Craig Tank" (???), a 500-pound bear that just happens to be America's sweetheart, college dorm fire alarm evasion tactics, and what to do if/when your nemesis surprises you on your birthday. Plus, Spencer regales his captive audience with inexplicable tales from his time in the hospitality industry. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!

Episode 11 – Craig Gray's Nutrient Hut

You’re caught in the web of Never Better, a show that’s never going to get any better. This week, Craig, Spencer, and Michael discuss their own mysterious powers, floss superiority, questionable talent show tactics, messing up your fake job, highfalutin restaurants, and school snitches. Plus, Craig pitches some business ideas that would get him thrown out of any sensible bank. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!

Episode 10 – You're Short 50 Pennies

Welcome, one and all, to the weekly roundtable discussion known as Never Better - a programme that, quite simply, will never get any better. This week, Graeme Hershey Marche-Mallow (Spencer), Lord Archibald Simpletton (Craig), and Bartholomew “Batty Bartie, the One-Man Party” Gooms (Michael) discuss the Queen and her platinum jubbly, the world’s oldest failed pub, double polos, gorilla intimidation, and personal space invaders. Also, Michael gets in more trouble at McDonald's than anyone knew was possible. All three of us forgot this episode was going to come out on Valentine's Day, or we probably would have incorporated it into the itinerary somehow. Oh, well! Don't like it? Call a cop! ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!

Episode 9 – I'm Gonna Cremate You

You hold in your hands a freshly picked episode of Never Better, a show that’s never going to get any better. This week, Craig, Michael, and Spencer discuss terrible football team names, senior discounts, military make-believe, the Monkey Queen, generational debts, and going to prison just for fun. Plus, Craig pitches a childrearing experiment nobody should ever do. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at@neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!

Episode 8 – Take The Compass And Tilt It

You’ve cracked open an ice cold can of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. This week, Spencer, Craig, and Michael discuss disorienteering, Alaskan Paradise, moon mishaps, yacht fugitives, Irish pension scams, and VR-fed beef. Due to electrical interference, Craig sounds like he’s a caller on an AM radio show. You’re just gonna have to live with that, same as the rest of us. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!

Episode 7 – Reeling From The Cheese Loops

You’ve cracked open an ice cold can of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. This week, Craig, Michael, and Spencer discuss British villages, lip glue, oblivious stinkmates, Turkmenistan's Hellpit, meter marathons, dog decency, and adventure on the medium seas. Plus, we celebrate the return of the Floppy-Armed Italian. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!

Episode 6 – The Fresh Squeeze

You’ve descended into the dark underbelly of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. This week, Craig, Michael, and Spencer discuss Bulgarian psychics, the Human Bake Oven, the once-great American scam, the boundaries of friendship, and putting your husband on blast in the New York Times. Plus, at one point, everyone tries their hand at doing an impression of Barry White. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!

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