Never Better

by Spencer, Michael, and Craig

Comedy News Philosophy

Episode 5 – It's All Pain

Welcome back to Never Better, a show that's still never going to get any better. This is our first fully remote episode, and we were all kind of relieved to be recording again, so please forgive the rambling length of this one. The past few weeks have been a ride. This week, Craig, Michael, and Spencer discuss zero gravity, fish terminators, tarantula trauma, crucifixion simulation, 1910s nostalgia, gorilla origins, doppelganger encounters, sitcom devotees, and dream worms. Also, Craig and Spencer share unforgettable encounters in public restrooms. Read into that whatever you like. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!

Episode 4 – NOT SLUGS

You’ve stumbled into the den of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. (I know we said that last week, too, but we actually did improve our microphone setup quite a bit this time, so for once it wasn't true. Just once.) This week, Craig, Michael, and Spencer discuss candle plans, robot responders, friendly crows, foot maneuvers, octopus hunches, and (obviously) NOT SLUGS. Also, Michael ropes his cohosts into his unusual funeral arrangements. ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!

Episode 3 – We’re Sleeping In The Car Tonight

You've tuned in to Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. This week, Spencer, Michael, and Craig discuss friendship bluffing, vaccine prosthetics, snake smoke, arrow removal, Prohibition prescriptions, tempting fate, and SY2K. Plus, Michael reveals another tantalizing fragment of his long history with harmful fumes. ––––– Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!

Episode 2 – A Rooster Said My Name

BREAKING: Are you sick and tired of having zero control over this podcast? Good news—those days are over! Now, you can send all complaints, questions, and topic suggestions to mailbox@neverbetter.show – give us a shout, and you might have something read aloud by one of the three most prominent goons of the age. ––––– You've tuned in to Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. This week, Spencer, Michael, and Craig discuss tooth tricks, sautéed onions, bus humiliation, zebra poachers, hometown omens, and Michael's magical powers. Plus, Craig makes a bet that will either bankrupt him or earn him all the money in the world.

Episode 1 – That Bank Was Robbed Many Times

Welcome to the inaugural episode of Never Better, a show that's never been better. Spencer, Michael, and Craig discuss inadvisable waste disposal, chicken popsicles, polyglot ghost hunters, the wrong way to train a dog, the Tombstone Thunderbird, and a way for banks to finally start making some money. Do You Like This?

INTO THE VOID Episode 5: BUILDING FOOD [feat. Spencer]

Welcome back to INTO THE VOID [all caps mandatory], the single-host stream-of-consciousness alternative to the Never Better Podcast, and a show that in its own right also never gets any better. This is what happens when the scheduling robot we use arranges for us to record on June 31st. This week, Spencer waxes poetic about teaching sabbaticals, Rhode Island-style diplomacy, postoffice cracksmanship, a trail of clews, and the importance of repairing the human machine. Plus, we mourn the plight of the hapless aeronaut.-----The opinions expressed on INTO THE VOID do not necessarily represent those held by any persons involved in the creation of the Never Better podcast. They might not even represent those held by Spencer if you ask him again later. Also, any references to the status, thoughts, behaviors, or actions of any figures living or dead are purely parodical and without any substance, merit, or evidence. There's no point to suing us anyway. We don't have any money.

INTO THE VOID Episode 4: Billions Of Lids [feat. Spencer]

Welcome back to INTO THE VOID [all caps mandatory], the single-host stream-of-consciousness alternative to the Never Better Podcast, and a show that in its own right also never gets any better. So sorry to see you're trapped here as well. This week, Spencer rattles on about prank retribution, cryptid visions, Senator Hairplugs, and the one thing above all others that, seriously, Nobody Has To Know. Also, he shares an account of his own recent brush with social danger. ----- The opinions expressed on INTO THE VOID do not necessarily represent those held by any persons involved in the creation of the Never Better podcast. They might not even represent those held by Spencer if you ask him again later. Also, any references to the status, thoughts, behaviors, or actions of any figures living or dead are purely parodical and without any substance, merit, or evidence. There's no point to suing us anyway. We don't have any money.

INTO THE VOID Episode 3: Appalachian Songbird [feat. Spencer]

Welcome back to INTO THE VOID [all caps mandatory], the single-host stream-of-consciousness alternative to the Never Better Podcast, and a show that in its own right also never gets any better. So sorry to see you're trapped here as well. This week, since he's all by himself again, Spencer holds forth on roving meat shrines, personal blood jars, and 22 Jump Shotting yourself. Also, we feature a number of musical interludes to keep things from getting too stale. Maybe we should start doing that in the regular show. PHOTO CREDIT: Spencer, 2013 [I told you I saw it] ----- The opinions expressed on INTO THE VOID do not necessarily represent those held by any persons involved in the creation of the Never Better podcast. They might not even represent those held by Spencer if you ask him again later. Also, any references to the status, thoughts, behaviors, or actions of any figures living or dead are purely parodical and without any substance, merit, or evidence. There's no point to suing us anyway. We don't have any money.

INTO THE VOID Episode 2: Catch That Egg [feat. Spencer]

You've just... Oh, no. You've taken a wrong step, haven't you? You've slipped between the boundaries and ended up someplace new. Someplace dark. Welcome... to THE VOID. With Spencer this time. This week, since he's all by himself, Spencer opines on zoo theft, airplane pranks, getting Wonka'd, and man door hook hand car door. Also, we got a new theme tune for Dear Dear Abby, as the previous version was described by listeners as "aggressive," "scary," and "too hot to handle." ----- The opinions expressed on INTO THE VOID do not necessarily represent those held by any persons involved in the creation of the Never Better podcast. They might not even represent those held by Spencer if you ask him again later. Also, any references to the status, thoughts, behaviors, or actions of any figures living or dead are purely parodical and without any substance, merit, or evidence. There's no point to suing us anyway. We don't have any money.

Episode 27.5 – 25 Pounds Of Raisins

You've opened a trap door overlooking the vast blank expanse that is Never Better, a show that never gets any better. No... this can't be right. There must be more to it than this. Where the devil did everything go? This week, in an abridged episode, Spencer, not Craig, and not Michael discusses ghost slander, sudden tattoos, birthday energy, and aggressively religious names. That's pretty much it. And you'll take it, and you'll like it! ----- Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at mailbox@neverbetter.show and we’ll react appropriately!

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