LET'S RUIN TRANSFORMERS! (part III)

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The destruction continues in part 3! How can you make a worse Transformers movie than Michael Bay, if you don't watch the Transformers movie by Michael Bay? I promise you, if we could have found a way, we would have. Instead, stupid nerd loser brothers Matt Fagan and Ted Fagan endure the most epically punishing six or seven hours ever committed to screen: the running time of the 2007 live-action 'movie' Transformers.

Our goal, this whole time, has been to study the Transformers franchise and, armed with that wisdom, pitch to each other our own worst-possible-versions of a Transformers film adaptation. Our intention is to concoct a scenario that is WORSE than the 2007 Michael Bay movie. But have we set for ourselves an impossible task? When I asked my Magic Eight-Ball, it replied, "Before time began, there was The Cube."

We're ...