Good morning, citizens. Today: a faraway nation votes to give its children one clear voice to trust, the world's numbers rise exactly as instructed, and the Ministry of Comfort introduces Solution — the gentle gray paste that cleans everything, equally. Then, because it's Wednesday, a Heartwarming Story verified by the Department of Hearts: a lonely new boy, and the friend who will never let him be alone again. Everything is already wonderful.

Verity is a satirical fiction podcast. Inspired by real headlines:

• France becomes first EU country to ban social media for children
•  ...