Good morning, citizens. In today's certified broadcast: the World Cup delivers a comprehensively correct result, the markets return to enthusiasm over a very large and very correct number, fresh produce proves untrustworthy where Ration Loaf never has — and this anchor sets the record straight, once and for all, about a small matter from Wednesday. Everything is already wonderful.

Verity is a satirical fiction podcast. Inspired by real headlines:

• World Cup 2026 today: France ease into semifinals (MSN/AP)
•  ...