Good morning, citizens. In today's certified broadcast: the World Cup quarterfinal lineup is confirmed CORRECT, dozens of world leaders launch a commission for GOOD (and nothing else — the name is very clear), the markets announce that they are poised, foreign researchers reinvent Ration Loaf, and a family in the southward districts receives a rare second slice. Briefly. Everything is already wonderful.

Verity is a satirical fiction podcast. Inspired by real headlines:

• World Cup 2026: Argentina edge Egypt 3–2; Switzerland win on penalties (ESPN) ...