Episode notes
Do Not Obey the Feeling
One thing I have learned about resentment is that it does not announce itself. It creeps in quietly. It may even feel justified. You replay conversations, remember betrayals, or think about what you wish you had said. Before long, a person or an event occupies more of your mind than you would like to admit.
I found myself in a similar situation. I did not like what I was feeling, but I also did not know how to stop feeling it. I had prayed about it more than once. I had tried to ignore it, hoping time would eventually make it disappear. Instead, the resentment kept resurfacing. Different memories would bring back the same emotions.
I got the opportunity to speak to a priest about it and a part of me expected that he would tell me how to pray about it. Instead, he said something different.
"Resentment is a feeling."
Before I could say anything, he continued.
"It is a real feeling, but you do not have to obey it."
That simple statement shifted something in me.
I may not have been able to stop the feeling from showing up, but with God's help, I could choose whether it would dictate my actions. I could acknowledge what I felt without allowing it to determine how I treated people. That did not make the hurt disappear, but it reminded me that my emotions did not have to be in charge.
That is often the hardest part, isn't it? When someone wounds us, every emotion tells us to respond in kind. To withdraw. To ignore them. To make them feel what they made us feel. Sometimes we even convince ourselves that because our feelings are valid, our reactions must be too.
Yet Jesus calls us to something radically different.
When He tells us to turn the other cheek, He is not asking us to pretend we were never hurt. He is inviting us to refuse to let hurt become our master. The world's response is retaliation. Christ's response is surrender. One keeps resentment alive. The other makes room for God to transform our hearts.
This is not something we accomplish by trying harder. If it were, we would all fail. The good news is that God has given us His Holy Spirit. He produces in us the self control we need to resist the temptation to act on resentment. When resentment whispers, "Get even," the Holy Spirit gently reminds us, "Become more like Jesus."
The apostle Paul understood this. He endured beatings, imprisonment, rejection, and false accusations, yet he entrusted justice to God instead of seeking revenge. He knew that God sees every wrong and judges perfectly. We do not have to carry the burden of making things right because justice belongs to the Lord.
Perhaps today your resentment still feels just as strong as it did yesterday, and that is okay. Healing takes time. God is not asking you to ignore what you feel. He is asking you not to let your feelings determine how you respond. Every time you choose not to act on your resentment, the Holy Spirit gives you the strength to become more like Christ and to respond in a way that honors Him.
Today, acknowledge the feeling without allowing it to become your guide. Ask the Holy Spirit for the grace to choose obedience over impulse, trusting that as you surrender your heart to God, He will continue His work of healing and transformation.
Reflection
Where is resentment trying to influence your actions today? What would choosing obedience to Christ look like in that situation?