Family is important. Apparently not important enough to ask your brother to donate sperm without turning every future Christmas into a psychological hostage situation.

We also learned that powdered corpses used to count as medicine, a frightened whale can blast three gallons of intestinal “Ink”, and one German man somehow found room for 278 genital piercings.

Then a rabid bat landed on a teenager’s face, Mortimer wiped his ass with a turkey sandwich after shitting on a wall, and Russia held a wedding for two robots because gay people apparently still asked for too much.

Ian finishes the job by explaining why your two-hour wait, weak drink, missing TV channel, and sweaty table are absolutely not his fault, even though it is actually 100% his fault.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸