Stroke went to the Mayo Clinic, surrendered 32 vials of blood, and learned he has a tropical parasite that may have been living inside him for years. Most people would process that information privately. We immediately asked him to inspect his poop and send pictures if anything worm-shaped appears.

That somehow wasn’t the strangest part of the show.

Ian explains why calling yourself a “regular” does not magically earn you better service, a better table, or the right to jump an hour-long karaoke line when you tip like somebody’s disappointed uncle. Fair point, honestly.

After that, the internet takes over. A sign-language lesson accidentally teaches kids how to say “nut in my mouth,” a nervous woman stutters into the worst possible word during a public meeting, and a bison sends an old man high enough to briefly qualify as weathe ...