Love and Trauma the Real Deal

Love and Trauma the Real Deal

by Danielle Sebastian
Relationships
Season 2

What Happens When the Woman Who's Spent Her Life Saving Others...Finally Breaks? (Part 1)

What happens when the woman trained to save others… realizes she can’t save herself? That was the wake-up call for Dr. Lamia Katbi—a high-achieving pediatrician, keynote speaker, TEDx presenter, and author of Just What the Doctor Ordered: Five Pillars of Optimal Health. After years of overgiving, perfectionism, and running on fumes, her body—and her life—hit a wall. In this deeply honest two-part conversation on Love and Trauma: The Real Deal, Dr. Katbi opened up about her breaking point, how she rebuilt her life from the ground up, and how her own healing journey is now helping her serve families and children with more compassion, insight, and clarity than ever before. From the silent weight of burnout to the subtle signs of trauma in kids, this is the episode every parent, partner, and provider needs to hear. Watch Full Episode on YouTube: What Happens When the Woman Who's Spent Her Life Saving Others...Finally Breaks? (Part 1) Learn more about Lamia Katbi: Website: https://drlamia.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/drlamiakatbi
S2 · E3
May 22, 2025
47:42

Your Survival Mode Isn't Your Fault - But It's Not Serving You Anymore

What if the very patterns you use to feel safe in a relationship are the same ones keeping you stuck? When I sat down with Ayla Fleming, LCSW, LCADC — a trauma-informed therapist that’s the question we unpacked in this week’s powerful episode of Love and Trauma: The Real Deal. Ayla isn’t just an expert in the field… she’s lived it. Ayla grew up in a household shaped by addiction, anxiety, and emotional chaos. Like so many of us, she learned early on to become the strong one, the peacekeeper, the overfunctioner. And just like me — she brought those patterns straight into her adult relationships, thinking they were a form of love. Together, we opened up about our journeys through codependency, dysregulation, and what it really takes to build a healthy, mutual relationship after trauma has rewired the way you connect. Watch Full Episode on YouTube: Your Survival Mode Isn't Your Fault - But It's Not Serving You Anymore Learn more about Ayla Fleming: Website: www.aylaflemingllc.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/aylathetherapist
S2 · E2
May 15, 2025
47:50

The Pleasure Prescription: Healing Trauma One Orgasm at a Time

When I first heard Girisha Andrea describe herself as an orgasm coach and grief specialist, I was intrigued. After talking with her? I was absolutely floored. Girisha is a Certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach who has spent the last 20+ years learning over 100 different healing methods from around the world. She’s the creator of the EMPRESS-O Method—a body-mind-emotion-soul-spirit approach that helps people recover from trauma, reconnect with their pleasure, and reclaim their lives. But what really sets Girisha apart is her lived experience. She grew up in an abusive household in Hungary, spent years disconnected from her body, overachieving and surviving—but not living. Until one day… she couldn’t ignore the numbness anymore. In this episode of Love and Trauma: The Real Deal, we dive into everything from sexual trauma and nervous system regulation to the grief-intimacy connection and the real meaning of an “orgasmic life.” (Spoiler: It’s not about swinging from chandeliers.) Watch Full Episode on YouTube: The Pleasure Prescription: Healing Trauma One Orgasm at a Time Learn more about Girisha Andrea Steigler: Website: http://empressco.online Instagram: www.instagram.com/girishaandrea
S2 · E1
May 8, 2025
58:54
Season 1

He Doesn’t Have to Change First: How 3 Wives Transformed Their Trauma-Impacted Relationships

When you're in a relationship with someone who’s survived childhood trauma, it can feel like nothing works. You try to stay calm. You try to communicate better. You try to fix things—again and again. And yet... you still feel like the enemy. Or the emotional dumping ground. Or like you’re constantly walking on eggshells trying not to trigger something you don’t understand. If you’ve ever felt like, “Maybe it’s just always going to be this way,” this episode of Love and Trauma: The Real Deal is for you. To celebrate our 22nd episode—and the upcoming launch of my next round of group coaching on May 13th—I invited three amazing women from my coaching program to share what really changed for them. Spoiler: It wasn’t about their partners doing more healing work first. These are real wives, in real homes, dealing with very real trauma dynamics—and the transformation they experienced will give you chills. Watch the Full Episode on YouTube: He Doesn’t Have to Change First: How 3 Wives Transformed Their Trauma-Impacted Relationships
S1 · E22
Apr 24, 2025
47:56

The Glass of Wine That Saved and Broke Us: Coping, Recovery, and Real Talk About Alcohol

This one’s personal. When my marriage was falling apart during my husband’s trauma recovery, I wasn’t drinking to celebrate—I was drinking to survive. If you’ve ever felt that way, this episode is for you. I’m revisiting two of the most powerful, raw conversations I’ve had on the show—with Kathryn Traff, who spent over 20 years in the OR handling life-or-death crises while using alcohol to numb the stress until one brutal 17-hour shift forced her to quit, and Marci Hopkins, who grew up in a home of betrayal and pain and drank to cope until it nearly destroyed her family. We talk about the real science of alcohol’s impact, what it takes to find real calm instead of fake relief, repairing broken relationships, setting boundaries, and the truth about carrying someone else’s trauma while trying not to lose yourself. If you’ve ever poured a drink just to get through the night and wondered, “Is this just my life now?”—you’re not failing, you’re not broken, and you’re not alone. Watch Full Episode on YouTube: The Glass of Wine That Saved and Broke Us: Coping, Recovery, and Real Talk About Alcohol
S1 · E21
Apr 17, 2025
52:10

When the Operating Room Broke Her: And Built Something New

What if the wine you’re using to “wind down” is actually keeping you stuck in survival mode? That’s the question I didn’t know I needed answered—until I sat down with Kathryn Traff, neuroscience expert, bestselling author, and founder of Kathryn Traff Coaching. In this raw, eye-opening conversation, we pulled back the curtain on something so many high-functioning women silently struggle with: using alcohol to cope. Kathryn’s background is nothing short of incredible. For over 20 years, she worked alongside top neurosurgeons at places like the Mayo Clinic and Stanford, supporting some of the most high-stakes, high-pressure brain and spine procedures in the world. But behind the mask and the scrubs, she was emotionally exhausted, carrying the trauma of what she witnessed in the operating room and the pressure to hold it all together. Like many of us, she turned to alcohol. Not to party—but to survive. A glass of wine here, a ritual there… until it became a habit that affected her health, her clarity, and her connection to herself. Watch Full Episode on YouTube: When the Operating Room Broke Her: And Built Something New Learn more about Kathryn Traff: Website: https://revivesoberspirit.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/kathryntraffcoaching
S1 · E20
Apr 10, 2025
53:56

Rewriting the Script: Family Secrets, Expectations, and Generational Healing

In this powerful recap episode of Love and Trauma: The Real Deal, I revisit two unforgettable conversations about the hidden wounds we carry and the choices we make to heal them. Coach Karmin Reeves Jenkins shares how learning the truth about her father, following a path she never wanted just to keep the peace, and unspoken resentment shaped her marriage and relationships in ways she never expected. And Dr. Argie Nell Nichols takes us to her Arkansas cattle ranch roots, where Cherokee wisdom and a fiercely loyal brother helped her navigate undiagnosed dyslexia, emotional pain with her mother, and the journey from survival to generational healing. These stories remind us that while our past may shape us, it doesn’t have to define us. Watch Full Episode on YouTube: Rewriting the Script: Family Secrets, Expectations, and Generational Healing
S1 · E19
Apr 3, 2025
46:54

Raised by Cherokee Elders, Shaped by Struggle

Imagine a world where kindness isn’t just something we talk about—but something we live by. A world where challenges don’t define you, but instead refine you. That’s the world Dr. Argie Nell Nichols was raised in—thanks to the grounding wisdom of her Cherokee grandparents and a barefoot, wild-hearted childhood on a cattle ranch in Arkansas. But don’t let the picturesque backdrop fool you—Argie’s story is one of grit, grace, and generational healing. In our latest episode of Love and Trauma: The Real Deal, Dr. Argie opens up about the complicated layers of her early life. Her dyslexia went undiagnosed for years, leaving her to quietly struggle in school. Her relationship with her mother brought emotional pain that took decades to process. But through it all, she leaned on the fierce love of her older brother—her protector, her guide, and her constant. That relationship, rooted in loyalty and unconditional love, became a blueprint for how Argie would go on to lead, teach, and inspire. Watch Full Episode on YouTube: Raised by Cherokee Elders, Shaped by Struggle Learn more about Dr. Argie Nichols: Website: https://herlifelegacy.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/argienellnichols_
S1 · E18
Mar 27, 2025
50:51

When Numbing Doesn't Work Anymore: A Wake-Up Call to Heal

What if the lowest point in your life—the one filled with shame, regret, and fear—was actually the turning point? That’s exactly what happened to Marci Hopkins, award-winning TV host, podcast creator, author of Chaos to Clarity, and recovery advocate. In this week’s episode of Love and Trauma: The Real Deal, Marci and I had an incredibly raw, honest conversation about how childhood trauma shaped her coping mechanisms, how she used alcohol to survive, and what it took to finally break the cycle—not just for herself, but for her entire family. Marci’s story is a true testament to what’s possible when you decide to stop numbing and start healing. It’s not just about sobriety. It’s about wholeness—and becoming the woman, mother, and partner she was always meant to be. Watch Full Episode on YouTube: When Numbing Doesn't Work Anymore: A Wake-Up Call to Heal Learn more about Marci Hawkins: Website: https://wakeupwithmarci.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/wake_up_with_marci
S1 · E17
Mar 20, 2025
50:04

The Truth About People-Pleasing, Past Wounds, and Living a Life That's Not Yours

Alright, imagine this: You’re eight years old, and out of nowhere, you find out the man you thought was your father… isn’t. Your real dad? Someone you’ve never met—and he’s in prison. Now fast forward a few years, and you’re stepping into a military career—not because it was your dream, but because it was the path your family laid out for you. You didn’t want it, but you went along with it. You kept the peace. You did what was expected. That’s exactly what Coach Karmin Reeves Jenkins went through. In this episode, Karmin opens up about the childhood revelations that rocked her world, the pressure to please others that led her down a path she never truly wanted, and how all of that—her past, her unspoken resentment, and the patterns she didn’t even realize she was carrying—started showing up in her relationships, especially in her marriage. Watch Full Episode on YouTube: The Truth About People-Pleasing, Past Wounds, and Living a Life That's Not Yours Learn more about Karmin Reeves Jenkins: Website: www.ih4al.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/karmin_simone_
S1 · E16
Mar 13, 2025
45:56
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