The Sharing Space: Conversations for Mental Wellbeing

The Sharing Space: Conversations for Mental Wellbeing

di Luke Edelston & Crispin Lain

Miglioramento personale Salute mentale

Stagione 1

Hustle Culture & various tangents

Work harder! Don't sleep! Don't take holidays! Win at all costs! Vijay drops in to talk about getting entangled in HC, alternative approaches, motivation vs discipline and other tangents. Take some time out to listen in and if you want to contact us with any of your thoughts you can do so here: thesharingspacepodcast@gmail.com Books mentioned: Tribal Leadership Sapiens The 4-hour Workweek 00:00:00 Welcome to The Sharing Space 00:01:02 What is Hustle Culture and why do we do it? 00:03:02 Vaynerchuk, Hormozi 00:08:33 Rejecting Hustle Culture 00:10:26 Putting a divider between work and life 00:11:55 External pressures & working 12-hour days 00:13:11 Learning to value rest 00:15:25 Are Hustle videos harmful or helpful? 00:16:33 Vulnerable people 00:17:20 Filling the void: loneliness and boredom 00:19:40 Wanting to be different from the crowd 00:21:26 Identity in your 20s 00:22:25 Hustle culture and mental health 00:23:40 Tim Ferriss and the 4-Hour Workweek 00:26:10 Who is Hormozi's advice for? 00:26:36 Motivation vs discipline 00:27:44 The gym analogy 00:30:41 What keeps you disciplined: carrot vs stick 00:34:05 Identity-based motivation 00:35:11 Vijay's turning point 00:39:48 The post-COVID reality check 00:40:18 Deathbed regrets 00:41:04 Tribes, community and parenting 00:43:11 Modern overload and choosing an identity 00:46:17 Stepping into leadership roles 00:49:00 Shared values and a noble cause 00:49:51 What are you proud of? 00:56:28 Values 00:58:58 Why purpose changes over time 01:00:10 Losing faith in NLP 01:02:46 Beliefs vs Values 01:03:35 Motivating low-performers 01:06:44 Closing thoughts

Imposter! Imposterism / Imposter Phenomenon / Imposter Syndrome

Worried that people will 'find out', that you will be exposed as a fraud, that you don't really have any idea what you're doing? Our friend Zanne returns for a convo about Imposter Phenomenon. And guess what's one of the solutions? Normalising it by sharing it. And that's what we're here for....welcome to The Sharing Space. Hope you enjoy and if you want to contact us with any of your thoughts you can do so here: thesharingspacepodcast@gmail.com 00:00:37 Intro 00:02:22 Our Definitions of Imposter Syndrome 00:04:43 Public Speaking Anxiety and Experiences 00:06:30 Self-Doubt vs. Imposter Syndrome 00:07:27 A Career Luck Story & Resulting Imposter Phenomenon 00:09:52 External vs. Internal Reality 00:11:56 Trying to be Normal and the Fear of Being "Found Out" 00:12:22 Social Anxiety and Imposter Phenomenon 00:13:52 Staying in Your Comfort Zone 00:15:18 3 Ways We Discount Success: Luck, Charisma, Hard Work 00:18:33 Comfort Zones & Imposter Syndrome 00:19:42 The Imposter Cycle: Procrastination vs. Over-Preparing 00:21:34 ADHD, Brain RAM and Managing Distractions 00:22:04 How Open Loops and Unfinished Tasks Cause Anxiety 00:25:06 Getting Away With It 00:25:36 Identity and Self-Image mismatch 00:27:26 Fear of Success and Self-Sabotage 00:30:41 Showing Your Worth around Peers and Authority Figures 00:31:53 5 Imposter Syndrome Archetypes: The Perfectionist & The Natural Genius 00:33:04 The Soloist Archetype: Asking for Help Feels Like Incompetence 00:33:43 The Expert Archetype: The Constant Pursuit of Self-Improvement 00:35:16 The Dunning-Kruger Effect: The More You Know The Less Confident You Feel 00:36:30 The Superperson Archetype: Burnout and the Gifted Child 00:39:04 Albert Einstein and Celebrity Imposter Syndrome 00:40:44 Strategy: Sharing Your Worries Normalises Imposter Phenomenon 00:41:29 The Power of Social Connection and Podcast Communities for Mental Health 00:42:22 Environmental Effects on Confidence 00:45:20 You Don’t See What Others Go Through 00:46:08 Target Fixation: Focusing on Negatives Creates Negative Outcomes 00:47:01 Positive Reinforcement 00:49:15 Reframing Anxiety into Excitement: The Radical Positivity Approach 00:51:19 Developing a Growth Mindset vs. a Fixed Mindset 00:53:30 Different Causes 00:56:10 Shock Your Subconscious into Submission 00:57:25 Medication Experience 00:58:06 Regular Comfort Zone Expansion to Increase Your Baseline

Dealing with overwhelm

Conversationalists: Kat, Luke, Crispin Finding the life To Do list never gets any smaller? Struggling to fit it all in? Avoiding small tasks because your mind just can't deal with another job? Us too!! We know we should be spending time on rest and recovery to recharge ourselves but it's easier said than done, right? Check out our experiences, thoughts and potential strategies. And if you want to get in touch: thesharingspacepodcast@gmail.com

Resilience

Bounce Back-ability, Flexibility, Growth Mindset. However you want to describe it, Resilience is the topic for this episode. Luke & Crispin are joined by Kat and Ray for a chat around experiences, fluctuating resilience levels and our current strategies. Hope you enjoy and if you want to contact us with any of your thoughts you can do so here: thesharingspacepodcast@gmail.com

Comfort Zones & Avoidance

A pared down episode with just Luke & Crispin delving deep into personal and uncomfortable experiences of comfort zone limitations and avoidance techniques. If any of this resonates with you then you may find this episode brings you some comfort to hear others vocalise similar struggles and perhaps even motivates you to push yourself beyond your own limitations. Enjoy! Share your stories: thesharingspacepodcast@gmail.com 00:00:00 Welcome to The Sharing Space 00:00:38 Defining Comfort Zones & Avoidance 00:01:37 Host Backgrounds & Introductions 00:05:33 Overcoming Mental Health Layers 00:10:54 Lockdown & Teams Meeting Anxiety 00:16:32 Widening Your Zone Step-by-Step 00:22:02 Cultural Impacts on Confidence 00:25:24 Embarrassing Teenage Avoidance Stories 00:29:30 Three Types of Avoidance 00:32:23 Travel and Connections 00:38:58 Email as an Avoidance Technique 00:40:22 Uni, Low Self-Esteem & Tension 00:44:15 Using Alcohol as a Coping Tool 00:48:00 Presentation Axiety Story & Imposter Syndrome 00:50:31 Feedback and Feed Forward 00:53:55 Advice to My 21-Year-Old Self 00:56:52 Opening Up About Antidepressants 01:04:53 Tech, Boundaries & Avoidance 01:07:26 Strategies & benefits of pushing beyond comfort zones 01:12:35 Like-minded people & Regret

Live, Love, Learn, Grow & Evolve

Matthew shares with us some significant life events, his personal growth story and his inspirational journey towards creating a charity to help people connect with each other. Sit back and enjoy Matthew's tales of his eventful life and his ambitious aspirations. Share your thoughts: thesharingspacepodcast@gmail.com 00:00:01 Welcome to The Sharing Space 00:01:24 Formats, Headline Topics & Growth 00:02:56 Live, Love, Learn, Grow, Evolve 00:04:18 Turning Knowledge into Wisdom 00:05:40 Shifting from Logic to Intuition 00:06:39 Grief, Travel & Weight Loss 00:09:50 Limits of Science and Religion 00:12:33 Reframing Death & Continuation 00:14:46 Breaking Cycles of Conformity 00:17:17 From Military to Airline Pilot 00:20:37 The Simon Sinek Car Analogy 00:22:59 Resigning on the 4th of the 4th 00:26:05 Space for New Creativity 00:27:49 Mind Dumps and Dream Lists 00:30:00 Terrifying Online Interviews 00:33:09 Documentaries & Hypnotherapy 00:36:14 Charity Work for Lonely Souls 00:40:00 Conscious vs Subconscious Mind 00:43:12 Childhood and Familiar Gravity 00:45:36 Tools for Emotional Awareness 00:47:10 The Subconscious 90% Filter 00:51:06 Replacing Judgment with Curiosity 00:54:21 Thoughts and Emotional Charges 00:57:39 Surrender, Acceptance, Gratitude 00:59:33 Shifting Perspective on Thoughts 01:03:23 The Present-Past Loop & Anxiety 01:09:54 Duality and Discomfort in Change 01:12:05 Tuning Into the Energy Body 01:15:14 Reclaiming Vital Alone Time 01:16:47 Heart Processing & Hypnotherapy 01:20:18 Luke's Calling Toward Counseling 01:22:42 A Literal Breaking Point Hike 01:24:56 Stepping Through the Three Doors 01:27:28 Episode Wrap-up & Final Remarks

Purpose & Aimlessness

Hello! In this episode, Crispin, Luke and Zanne discuss the topic of purpose & aimlessness. Why do we feel pressure to have a purpose? Can we be content without a purpose? Can you live without purpose without being aimless? Does having a purpose cause stress? We discuss these questions as well as our personal experiences, thoughts and strategies. Share your thoughts: thesharingspacepodcast@gmail.com 00:00:00 Welcome to The Sharing Space 00:01:07 Special Guest Zanne & Topic Definition 00:03:03 Scoring Personal Purpose Out of Ten 00:05:34 Religious Upbringings & Shared Values 00:07:09 Latent Potential vs Chosen Paths 00:09:10 Can you live without purpose without being aimless? 00:10:56 Is this a modern phenomena? 00:12:05 Social Media Grind Cult & False Purposes 00:13:41 Can a search for Purpose be a cause of stress? 00:16:45 Mel Robbins & Shifting Energy Levels 00:20:27 Age Box Anxiety & Biological Timelines 00:22:20 Carl Jung's Archetypes & The Self 00:23:46 The Eternal Child Urge & Nostalgia 00:27:53 Self Development & Self Discovery 00:31:58 Ikigai: The Four Intersecting Elements 00:33:40 Viktor Frankl & Man's Search for Meaning 00:37:20 Is Everyone's Purpose to Serve Others? 00:38:29 Triggers of Aimlessness: Boredom & Psychological Pain 00:43:00 Social Anxiety as a Motivator 00:46:13 Toastmasters & Reigniting Creativity 00:50:31 The Rat Park Experiment 00:52:30 Strategies to at least reduce aimlessness if findng a purpose is too challenging 00:55:30 Hot Ears

Isolation, Social Connections & Friendships

Hi! In this episode, Luke, Nick & myself chat about making friends (sometimes in in unusual places), the importance of social connection, self awareness, the detrimental impacts of loneliness & isolation, getting outside your comfort zone and lots of other bits & pieces. If you're feeling lost or looking for help in dealing with your struggles then I hope that this brings you some comfort, relief, insights & inspiration. Enjoy! Crispin. Email: thesharingspacepodcast@gmail.com 00:01:08 does it get harder to make friends as you get older? 00:02:04 defining connections 00:04:09 stats, loneliness, sleep & mortality 00:06:30 Nick Littlehales TED talk on sleep 00:07:40 lacking capacity for new relationships 00:08:10 isolation & solo travelling 00:14:20 meditation downsides 00:18:10 blushing, feeling on show 00:20:20 making friends later in life 00:30:00 normalising the normal - getting outside comfort zone 00:30:40 self help can be a lonely activity 00:32:00 three needs for good mental health 00:32:55 the impact of rejection on mental health 00:35:50 everyone likes you more than you think they do 00:36:30 tips for making friends & stories from the sauna 00:43:40 small talk tactics 00:44:40 strategies for making connections 00:46:15 self-awareness & insecurities 00:48:20 public speaking 00:49:30 having things in common 00:50:05 Nick’s experience of being the outsider 00:52:00 strategies continued 00:53:20 NLP and CBT differences 00:57:00 childhood experiences 00:59:25 parental and environmental impact 01:00:20 attachment theory 01:02:39 things not to do

Public Speaking

Hello! In this episode Nick and Ray join me to chat about anxieties, fears, embarrassments and the fight/flight/freeze response when speaking in front of groups. There is also chat around origins of issues, TV appearances, ADHD, upbringings, strategies and Toastmasters. Hopefully you will feel comforted from other people talking similar things that may be affecting you. 00:00 intro 01:20 learning public speaking vs natural confidence 05:25 experience of asking a question at a gambling summit 07:50 the benefits of social connections 09:00 delving into Nick’s experience 11:40 being on TV 12:40 not seeing improvements 13:50 Nick’s journey to Toastmasters & school stories 16:15 intrinsic personalities 17:00 possible childhood traumas 17:50 unable to understand the fight or flight response 18:50 the difference between normal and abnormal nervousness 21:20 anxiety experiences 22:10 delayed/dormant anxieties 27:00 neurodiversity 29:30 same upbringing different results 32:00 confident kids 34:00 intelligence & confidence 35:05 inheriting confidence/shyness 37:45 intense daydreaming 40:30 stimming, Autism & layers of quirks 44:00 a career that fits your quirks 45:40 thoughts on how the episode went & some random chat

Goals & Ambitions

Welcome to the debut episode and thanks for joining us. I hope some of our conversations resonate with you, help you feel less alone and spur you on to improving your situation. Future episodes will feature conversations between 3-4 people for a more diverse perspective but for this debut outing we're keeping it simple with just Crispin and Luke. We spend some time delving into the intention of the podcast before discussing our first ever topic: goals & ambitions. Enjoy! 00:00 intro 01:25 The Sharing Space concept and intentions 04:45 the loneliness of self help 07:15 how we’ll manage the topics 07:50 goals & ambitions discussion 09:58 why should we have goals? 11:22 is goal-setting a stressor? 14:40 the dilemma of comparison 18:28 infectious generosity (Chris Anderson TED talk) 19:40 a story of an unachieved goal 23:40 having big goals 27:00 our values 32:40 the importance of social connections & friendships 41:30 some thoughts & strategies