You Can Do Hard Things

by Jenny Melling

Season 3

Gilli: A Cult Survivor’s Story of Abuse, Survival and Escape from the Plymouth Brethren

Gilli describes himself as a cult survivor. Born into the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church (PBCC), formerly known as the Exclusive Brethren, he grew up in a world governed by strict religious rules, separation from outsiders and expectations that shaped almost every part of his life. In this episode of You Can Do Hard Things with Jenny Melling, Gilli tells his story of growing up inside the Plymouth Brethren, experiencing sexual abuse as a teenage boy, living with shame and confusion, reaching the point of attempting suicide, and eventually rebuilding his life outside the community. Gilli talks openly about what it means to be born into a high-control religious environment when you have nothing else to compare it with. He explains why the question “Why don’t they just leave?” is far more complicated than it sounds, and what can happen when leaving means risking your faith, identity, family and everything you have ever known. He also speaks candidly about male sexual abuse and something rarely discussed: the confusion a young male survivor can experience when their body physically responds during abuse. For Gilli, that response contributed to years of believing he was somehow responsible for what happened to him. The conversation explores childhood sexual abuse, male survivors of sexual abuse, coercive control, religious trauma, shunning, family separation, suicide, mental health, leaving a cult and life after the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church. But Gilli’s story is not defined only by what happened to him. He talks about therapy, understanding his past, finding his own identity and building a life beyond the world he was born into. This is Gilli’s personal experience and account of his life within and after the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church. CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains detailed discussion of childhood sexual abuse, male sexual abuse, suicidal thoughts and a suicide attempt, coercive control, religious trauma and family separation. SUPPORT If anything in this conversation affects you, support is available. Samaritans: Call 116 123 free, day or night, 365 days a year. SurvivorsUK: Specialist support for men, boys and non-binary people who have experienced sexual abuse. Call 0808 801 0332 (Monday–Friday, 10am–12pm), or access webchat, WhatsApp and SMS support through SurvivorsUK. NHS 111: Call 111 if you need urgent help for your mental health. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999. 🎙️ You Can Do Hard Things with Jenny Melling Conversations about the things we survive, the lives we rebuild and what we're capable of when life gives us no easy option. Life can be pretty shit sometimes, but you’ve got this. You can do hard things.

S3 · E5

Sep 21, 2026

2:28:12

Matt Dearsley: Baby Loss, Bereaved Dads and Life in the Met Police

Matt shares the devastating reality of losing Harry and Daisy, alongside the other pregnancy losses experienced by him and his wife, Lauren. He talks about hearing the words “there’s no heartbeat”, supporting Lauren as she delivered their babies, explaining loss to their children and reaching a point where he struggled to recognise himself. He also explains why many grieving dads remain silent, why he would cry alone in his car and how joining a football team for bereaved fathers helped to save his life. That experience eventually led to Dad’s Still Standing—a podcast providing honest, practical and sometimes funny support for dads and families affected by baby loss. The conversation then turns to Matt’s policing career: being robbed at gunpoint as a teenager, joining the Metropolitan Police at 19, facing a meat cleaver during his first arrest and working across CID, Trident and proactive policing. Matt also reflects on grief within the workplace and how policing has changed during his career. This is a powerful conversation about surviving experiences you never chose, finding a way to live alongside grief and creating something meaningful from unimaginable loss. Please be aware that this episode contains detailed discussion of miscarriage, baby loss, pregnancy loss and childbirth following loss. Listen to Dad’s Still Standing wherever you get your podcasts. If this episode resonates with you, please follow or subscribe to You Can Do Hard Things, share it with somebody who may need it and leave a rating or review. Your support helps these conversations reach more people.

S3 · E4

Sep 16, 2026

58:46

The Reality Behind Womens Football - Before the Crowds Came - The Bibs, Balls and Cones - With Lou Roberts - Coach Lou - Stoke city, Burnley Women and now Posh Women

What happens when football has shaped your entire identity—and injury suddenly takes it away? Lou Roberts is a former Stoke City Women captain and the current Assistant Manager of Peterborough United Women. In this episode, Lou takes us through her journey from playing football when opportunities for girls were scarce to representing Wolverhampton Wanderers, spending 13 years at Stoke City and rebuilding her life after three ACL reconstructions ended her playing career. Lou speaks honestly about identity loss, serious football injuries and finding her way back into the game through coaching. We explore her transition from player to leader, her experiences coaching at Stoke City and Burnley Women, and the realities of working in women’s football before the crowds, investment and recognition it receives today. We also discuss leadership, understanding players as individuals, balancing football with family and running Arc IT Solutions—and why, despite everything, it’s still the balls, bibs and cones that Lou loves most. This is an honest conversation about women’s football, ACL recovery, career-ending injury, resilience, leadership and discovering that when one version of your life ends, there may still be another way back into the world you love. Follow You Can Do Hard Things with Jenny Melling for more honest conversations about resilience, identity and overcoming life’s hardest moments.

S3 · E3

Sep 9, 2026

1:42:08

Courtney Clarke: Who Am I Without Football? | Arsenal, England & Finding Her Way Back

What happens when the thing you’ve built your whole life around is suddenly taken away? Courtney Clarke grew up in Peterborough with one dream: football. That dream took her to Arsenal’s academy and on to representing England at youth level, before a serious ACL injury changed the direction of her career and left her facing a much bigger question: who am I without football? In this episode of You Can Do Hard Things with Jenny Melling, Courtney talks about growing up in the Arsenal system, pulling on an England shirt, the reality of suffering a major injury as a young footballer, and the mental battle that comes when you can no longer do the thing that has always defined you. We talk about the difficult road back, further setbacks, rebuilding confidence, and eventually returning to where it all started, with Courtney now playing for her hometown club, Peterborough United Women. Courtney also opens up about the person behind the footballer: the pressure she puts on herself, how injury changed her relationship with the game, and what she has learned about her identity away from the pitch. It’s a conversation about football, but also about resilience, identity, serious injury and what happens when the future you had planned suddenly disappears. If you’ve ever wondered how athletes cope mentally with long-term injury, how you rebuild confidence after an ACL injury, or how you find yourself again when you can’t do the thing you love, Courtney’s story is one you’ll want to hear. 🎙️ You Can Do Hard Things with Jenny Melling

S3 · E2

Aug 23, 2026

1:27:54

I Don’t Have a Choice. I Have to Do It. She Depends on Me | Cancer, Caring & Surviving the Hardest Years - Claire Wynne’s story

What is it really like to be a full-time carer? How do you cope when breast cancer comes back? And how do you keep going when somebody you love depends on you? In this episode of You Can Do Hard Things with Jenny Melling, Jenny talks to Claire Wynne about a life that has repeatedly forced her to find the strength to carry on. Claire's daughter Chloe has autism, a learning disability and epilepsy and requires 24-hour care. Claire talks honestly about caring for an adult child with additional needs, carer burnout and exhaustion, the guilt of needing respite care and the question many parents in her position fear: what will happen to my disabled child when I'm no longer able to care for them? Claire also shares what it was like having a premature baby at 29 weeks, when her son Bradley spent nine weeks in special care, and the fear she experienced when it was finally time to bring him home. She talks about experiencing domestic abuse, leaving an abusive relationship with two young children and becoming a single mum. Then, around the age of 30, Claire discovered a lump in her breast. It was breast cancer. Claire underwent surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy while continuing to care for her children. She talks candidly about what chemotherapy actually feels like, losing her hair during chemotherapy and why finishing cancer treatment didn't mean that cancer suddenly felt “over”. After years of clear mammograms, 18 years after her original breast cancer diagnosis, Claire was told the cancer had returned. What is it like to hear “the cancer's back” after almost two decades? How do you cope with the fear of cancer recurrence? And how do you find the strength to face treatment again? Claire also talks about losing her brother Darren to cancer, grief, family and the reality of carrying on when life doesn't stop to give you time to recover. This is an honest conversation about: • Breast cancer and breast cancer recurrence • Cancer returning after 18 years • Chemotherapy, radiotherapy and hair loss • Life after cancer treatment • Caring for an adult child with autism and learning disabilities • Being a full-time, 24-hour carer • Carer burnout and respite care • Autism, learning disability and epilepsy • Premature birth at 29 weeks and neonatal care • Domestic abuse and becoming a single mum • Losing a sibling to cancer and coping with grief • Resilience and how to keep going when life feels too hard When Jenny asks Claire what has enabled her to keep going through everything she's faced, her answer is simple: “I don't have a choice. I have to do it.” 🎙️ You Can Do Hard Things with Jenny Melling is a podcast about resilience, adversity and the real stories behind how people survive life's hardest moments. Follow or subscribe so you don't miss future episodes, and if Claire's story resonates with you, please leave a rating or review and share the episode. If you've been through something difficult and would like to tell your story, or know somebody who should be a guest on You Can Do Hard Things, get in touch.

S3 · E1

Aug 17, 2026

1:32:36

Season 2

Laura Pond (Part 2) | PTSD, Grief, Losing a Parent, Arginine Vasopressin Deficiency (Diabetes Insipidus), Rare Medical Conditions, Trauma, Mental Health, Policing, Organising a Funeral, Resilience & Learning How to Carry On

🎙️ Episode Description In Part 2 of my conversation with former Metropolitan Police detective Laura Pond, we pick up where Part 1 ended, talking honestly about what policing is really like and the emotional toll it can take on those behind the uniform. From there, the conversation becomes deeply personal. Laura shares her experience of living with PTSD, the invisible impact of trauma, and the long road to being diagnosed with Arginine Vasopressin Deficiency (formerly known as Diabetes Insipidus), a rare condition that left her drinking up to 30 litres of water a day before finally getting answers. She also opens up about one of the hardest chapters of her life: losing her dad, becoming the person responsible for everything as an only child, supporting her mum through illness, and learning how to keep moving forward when life changes forever. Despite the difficult subjects, this conversation is full of warmth, humour and honesty. It's a reminder that resilience isn't about never struggling. It's about finding a way through, one step at a time. If you haven't already listened to Part 1, I'd highly recommend starting there to hear Laura's remarkable policing career and the experiences that shaped everything we discuss in this episode. In this episode we discuss: • What policing is really like behind the scenes • PTSD and recognising the signs • The emotional impact of trauma • Living with Arginine Vasopressin Deficiency (formerly Diabetes Insipidus) • Receiving a rare medical diagnosis • Losing a parent • Organising a funeral • Grief, resilience and learning to carry on You Can Do Hard Things is a podcast about resilience, extraordinary lives and the people behind the stories. Every conversation is a reminder that even when life feels impossible, we are often stronger than we realise.

S2 · E8

Jul 16, 2026

1:21:22

Inside the Met Police: The Stories Officers Rarely Get the Chance to Share | Laura Pond (Part 1)

What is it really like to spend almost 20 years policing London? In Part 1 of this conversation, I sit down with one of my closest friends and former Metropolitan Police colleague, Laura Pond. From the outside, policing is often reduced to headlines and headlines rarely tell the full story. Together we look back on our time in the Met, talking honestly about Hendon training school, response policing, becoming detectives, Counter Terrorism, Professional Standards, major incidents and the unseen pressures that come with wearing the uniform. Laura shares how she nearly never joined the police because of anxiety, how putting on the uniform transformed her confidence, and how she went on to work in Counter Terrorism, helping improve the UK's response to victims following the Tunisia terrorist attack. This isn't a conversation about sensational stories. It's about the people behind the badge. It's about responsibility, resilience, friendship, humour, and the things police officers rarely get the opportunity to talk about once the cameras are off. Whether you've worked in policing, know someone who has, or you've simply wondered what life inside the Met is really like, I hope this conversation gives you a perspective you may never have heard before. In this episode we discuss: • Joining the Metropolitan Police • Hendon Police Training School • Life on response policing • Becoming a detective • Counter Terrorism Command • The Tunisia terrorist attack • Professional Standards (DPS) • War crimes investigations • Public perception of policing • Why good officers leave If you enjoy honest conversations about resilience, leadership and the experiences that shape us, please follow You Can Do Hard Things wherever you listen to your podcasts. Part 2 is coming soon... and trust me, you won't want to miss it.

S2 · E7

Jun 26, 2026

1:45:13

Holly's Story: Meningitis, Memory Loss, Grief, a Psychic Medium & Learning to Live Again (Part 2)

What are the warning signs of meningitis? Can meningitis cause memory loss, brain fog and speech problems years later? How quickly can meningitis become life-threatening? In Part 2 of my conversation with Holly, we explore the life-changing impact of meningitis, grief and survival. Holly shares her terrifying experience of developing meningococcal meningitis, from repeatedly collapsing at Stansted Airport to being rushed to hospital after a meningitis rash appeared and ultimately helped save her life. She opens up about the symptoms she experienced, the treatment that followed, and the lasting effects she continues to live with today, including memory problems, speech difficulties and brain fog. We also discuss the devastating loss of her best friend Rachel, the mental health battles that followed, moments when Holly questioned whether she wanted to carry on, and an unexpected visit to a psychic medium that left her questioning everything. This is a raw, honest and emotional conversation about trauma, resilience, loss and finding a way forward when life changes forever. Topics covered: • Meningococcal meningitis • The early warning signs of meningitis • The meningitis rash • Long-term effects of meningitis • Memory loss, speech difficulties and brain fog • Mental health and suicidal thoughts • Grief and losing a best friend • A psychic medium and unexplained experiences • Type 1 diabetes awareness • Living4Rach If sharing Holly's story helps just one person recognise the signs of meningitis sooner, this conversation was worth having.

S2 · E6

Jun 19, 2026

33:19

Holly shares the story of her best friend Rachel, their 20-year friendship, her journey with Type 1 Diabetes, and the devastating loss that changed everything. A powerful conversation shared in memory of Rachel and support of #Living4Rach.

Part 1 of 2 Rachel was Holly's best friend for over 20 years. In this deeply personal episode of You Can Do Hard Things, Holly shares Rachel's story. From growing up with Type 1 Diabetes, through years of health challenges, to the devastating phone call that changed everything. Together we discuss the realities of living with Type 1 Diabetes, the impact of Diabulimia, DKA, Charcot Foot, friendship, family support, and the strength it takes to keep going when life feels impossible. More than anything, this is a story about friendship, resilience and remembering someone who meant the world to those around her. This episode is shared in memory of Rachel and in support of #Living4Rach, helping to raise awareness of Type 1 Diabetes, Diabulimia and the importance of education and understanding. In this episode: • Rachel and Holly's friendship spanning more than 20 years • Growing up with Type 1 Diabetes • The hidden reality of Diabulimia • DKA and repeated hospital admissions • Charcot Foot, sepsis and the threat of amputation • Relationships, family support and finding hope • Pregnancy, future plans and new beginnings • The heartbreaking phone call that changed everything This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation. In Part 2, Holly shares her own incredible story of surviving meningitis, nearly losing her life, and how both experiences changed her perspective forever. 💙 In memory of Rachel 💙 #Living4Rach You Can Do Hard Things is a podcast sharing real stories of resilience, adversity and ordinary people overcoming extraordinary challenges.

S2 · E5

May 29, 2026

50:17

Ashley Watson: Inside The Olympic Village, Jamaica Bobsleigh & Post Olympic Depression | Part 2/2

Ashley Watson returns for Part 2 of this powerful conversation on You Can Do Hard Things. From representing Jamaica at the Winter Olympics to the reality of life inside the Olympic Village, Ashley opens up about the moments most people never hear about. We discuss: What REALLY happens inside the Olympic Village The pressure of competing on the world stage Jamaica’s bobsleigh journey and the Cool Runnings comparisons Media attention and representing a country The emotional comedown after the Olympics Post Olympic depression and identity loss Athlete mindset, resilience and discipline Building success beyond sport Ashley also shares stories about Olympic parties, elite athlete culture, travelling to Beijing 2022 and the hidden side of chasing a lifelong dream. This is an honest conversation about ambition, sacrifice, mental health and what happens after achieving the thing you thought would change your life forever. 🎧 Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and wherever you get your podcasts. #AshleyWatson #Olympics #OlympicVillage #JamaicaBobsleigh #PostOlympicDepression #YouCanDoHardThings

S2 · E4

May 20, 2026

49:00

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