Wellish

by Sarah Ritondale

Self-Improvement

Season 4

Why am I always defending myself? | Confessions of a Wellish Girly

Okay… this week’s confession is that I think I get defensive more than I realized. I first noticed it in therapy when we were talking about Gottman’s Four Horsemen and defensiveness came up. Since then I’ve started noticing how quickly my brain assumes the worst interpretation of things and immediately wants to defend myself — sometimes even when no one actually criticized me. In this episode I’m just talking through that realization, where I think it might come from, and the subtle ways it shows up in my relationships and everyday conversations. If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly explaining yourself, overthinking what someone meant, or assuming criticism where there might not be any… you might relate to this one.

The Identity You Learned vs. The Person You Actually Are with Coach Bill Ritchie

In this episode of Wellish, we’re diving into something that quietly shapes who we become: the family dynamics and patterns we grow up around. My guest today, motivational mindset coach Bill Ritchie, shares how emotionally challenging environments can leave lasting imprints on our identity, influencing everything from our confidence and boundaries to how we show up in relationships. We talk about what generational trauma actually looks like in everyday life, why so many high-functioning adults still feel emotionally reactive, and how behaviors like people-pleasing, perfectionism, or avoiding conflict often start as survival strategies. Most importantly, we explore the empowering truth that these patterns are not permanent. When you start recognizing the difference between your true identity and the conditioning you learned growing up, you can begin rebuilding your self-trust, emotional resilience, and sense of self. If you’ve ever thought, “This is just how I am,” this episode might help you question that story. Connect with Bill: Skool Community - https://www.skool.com/breaking-free-3994/about www.linkedin.com/in/bill-ritchie-6a8080266 https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61564405996750 Instagram - @coachbill4u Tik Tok - @coachbill4u www.coachbill4u.com

The identity you built to feel accepted

Most of us believe we’re living as our authentic selves. But what if the version of you that the world knows is actually a mask you learned to wear? At some point in life, many of us adapt into roles that make us feel safer, more loved, or more accepted: the achiever, the easygoing one, the strong one, the responsible one. These identities can help us survive certain environments, but over time they can also disconnect us from who we really are. In this episode, we’re exploring why we create masks in the first place, how to recognize the roles we might be performing, and the deeper question most people skip when they start a self improvement journey: who are you underneath it all? Because before you try to become a better version of yourself, it might be worth asking whether the version of you you’re improving is actually you…or just the mask.

Untying my worth from achievement | Confessions of a Wellish Girly

In this week’s Confessions of a Wellish Girly, I’m talking about something I’ve been really realizing lately: how easy it is to tie your entire sense of worth to achievement. For most of my life, I believed that being productive, improving, and constantly working to be enough was what made me valuable. But what happens when your identity becomes your output? In this episode, I’m sharing the realization that achievement based worth is a trap many of us fall into especially in self-improvement culture where it feels like we always need to be leveling up. We talk about where this mindset comes from, the problem with thinking this way, and what it actually looks like to start separating who you are from what you accomplish.

You’re Not “Just That Way”: How to Rewrite the Identity You’ve Been Living with Jessica Graham

So many of us are living identities we never consciously chose. The “good girl.” The people pleaser. The anxious one. The responsible one. In this episode of Wellish, I’m sitting down with narrative advisor and identity coach Jessica Graham to unpack how the stories we formed about ourselves, often in childhood or during our hardest moments, quietly shape the way we show up in relationships, work, and life. We talk about why so many people struggle to answer the question “Who am I?” outside of roles, how emotional outsourcing and people pleasing can keep you stuck in survival mode, and why rewriting your identity isn’t about positive thinking, it’s about radical honesty and self trust. You’ll learn how to identify the stories running your life, externalize patterns that no longer serve you, and begin rewriting a version of yourself that actually aligns with who you are. If you’ve ever felt like you’re performing your life instead of living it, this conversation will help you start peeling back the layers and reclaiming your real identity.

Who you are is not what you do

If you feel like you’re constantly trying to do more to finally feel better about your life, this episode is for you. Somewhere along the way, we started believing that who we are is defined by what we produce — how productive we are, how disciplined we are, how much we can improve ourselves. But the truth is, identity doesn’t come from how much you do. It comes from deeply knowing yourself. In this episode of Wellish, we’re talking about the identity trap that keeps so many people stuck in the cycle of constant self-optimization. Why chasing the “should” version of your life doesn’t actually lead to fulfillment, how over-efforting can become a bandaid for deeper insecurities, and why real change begins with self-knowledge, values, and acceptance. When you stop performing your life and start understanding yourself, everything changes. The things that are truly aligned with you begin to happen naturally, and the pressure to constantly prove yourself finally starts to disappear. If you’ve been feeling like you’re always chasing the next thing that will finally make your life feel better, this episode might change the way you think about self-improvement entirely.

February Hates & Favs | Confessions of a Wellish Girly

It’s time for this month’s Confessions of a Wellish Girly — the unfiltered hates and favorites. We’re talking gym struggles that humbled me, the beauty mishap that took out my lashes, and the mindset moments where my ambition definitely outran my self-care. But there are wins too: simplifying my routine, deeper girlfriend hangs, growing career clarity… and yes — I have to tell you someone about a boy. 👀 If you’re doing your best and still figuring it out in real time, you’re in the right place. Welcome to the monthly recap.

How to Feel Good Enough Without Proving It with Dr. Alessandra Wall

What if the thing you've been chasing - success, discipline, being impressive, being the good girl is the exact thing keeping you stuck? I this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Alessandra Wall (clinical psychologist turned executive coach) to talk about the gilded cage of achievement: when your life isn't bad, but you still feel trapped, tired, and unsatisfied with your life. We get into how to stop performing wellness and start actually experiencing it and what integration really means. (Hint: you're not one thing you're a disco ball) We also talk about why the psychological always beats the logical, how to "act despite" insecurity, and the simplest question that changes everything: if you believed what you know, what would you do differently? Plus a rapid fire Kinda Toxic Kinda Well round to bring the humanity

Are you low maintenance or do you have low standards?

If you’ve ever proudly called yourself “low maintenance”… this episode might lovingly call you out. Because sometimes what we label as being easygoing, chill, or low maintenance… is actually low standards in disguise. In this episode, we’re getting honest about the subtle ways high-functioning, self-aware women end up over-accommodating, under-asking, and quietly tolerating misalignment for far too long. We’re talking about the moment you realize your “carefree” identity might actually be people-pleasing in a cute outfit — and why raising your standards is less about dating preferences and more about deep emotional healing. Inside this conversation, we unpack: ✨ The difference between being genuinely low maintenance vs. operating from low standards ✨ The sneaky signs your nervous system has been over-accommodating ✨ Why things still don’t work out even when you’re “easy to be with” ✨ What actually happens (emotionally and socially) when you start raising your standards ✨ The uncomfortable identity shift no one warns you about If you’ve been feeling quietly unfulfilled, chronically over-understanding, or like you’ve been accepting less than you deserve — this episode is your permission slip to recalibrate. Because high standards aren’t high maintenance. They’re a healing skill. If this episode resonates, don’t forget to rate, review, and share it with your most self-aware bestie 💌

Why does existing feel so stressful? | Confessions of a Wellish Girly

Everything just can’t be that serious and I am confessing it. I am tired of all of the "criteria" we are supposed to meet in order to consider us good enough. There’s so many agendas to fill and standards to meet and highlight reels we compare ourselves to and we logically know we can’t listen to it all, but our subconscious doesn’t care! It soaks it all in a treats it as truth and we struggle to separate what we genuinely feel about ourselves and the world around us and how we interact with it from how we SHOULD feel about things. And I'm talking about it.

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