Good morning, citizens. Today: engineers abroad have invented a clever way to learn your age without asking — a thing we have never needed to do. Astronomers confirm there is air on a distant world; ours, however, is nearer, and no one has applied. And then, because it is Friday, they have asked me to tell you about my Companion. His name is Tux. He never needs feeding, never makes noise, and never has to be reported. Everything is already wonderful.

Verity is a satirical fiction podcast. Inspired by real headlines:

• Google expands its Play Age Signals API — age ranges without birthdays, ID documents, or face scans
•  ...