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The Fire Between

The Fire Between

by Rachel & Ryan Newton

Self-Improvement Relationships

Season 1

Fire #9: The Measure of a Good Life

What makes a life “good” and who taught us how to measure it? In Fire #9, we unpack the definitions of success we inherited, how those early scorecards continue to shape us, and why ambition functions differently for each of us. We don’t agree on everything (especially where contentment ends and complacency begins) but that tension leads us into an honest conversation about the ways striving has improved our lives, the times it has cost too much, and how our priorities have evolved. From career achievement and productivity to travel, freedom, rest, mental health, relationships, and family, we explore what genuinely makes our life feel successful now—and what we hope Ember learns to measure for herself. If the usual markers of success disappeared, how would you know you were living a good life?

Fire #8: What We Hold, What We Let Go

Every parent carries something into the role: the lessons they were taught, the love they received, the fears they inherited, and the promises they quietly made about what they would do differently. In Fire #8, Rachel and Ryan reflect on their very different childhood experiences and what each has chosen to carry into parenting Ember. They talk about presence, perseverance, whimsy, kindness, respect for difference, and raising a child who knows she is deeply loved - even when she makes a mistake. From transforming July the potato through “magic” to teaching Ember that she is allowed to be upset but not mean, they share the ordinary moments that reveal what they value most. They also speak honestly about where their parenting instincts differ, how inherited expectations still surface, and the ongoing work of repairing, recalibrating, and giving each other grace. As Ember becomes more fully herself, Rachel and Ryan consider what it means to protect her without trying to control everything, to care more about who she becomes than what she becomes, and to raise her to be strong enough to be gentle. Because parenting is an ongoing practice of deciding what love asks us to hold firmly… and what it asks us to let go.

Fire #7: The Roles We Rewrite

What makes a good man, a good woman, or a good partner, and who taught us those rules? In Fire #7, Rachel and Ryan trace the gender scripts they inherited from the households they grew up in and examine how those expectations have shaped their relationship. They talk honestly about providing, power, emotional expression, femininity, caregiving, last names, and the assumptions other people make when their partnership does not follow the expected blueprint. This is not a conversation about rejecting every traditional role. It is about making sure the roles they inhabit are chosen rather than assigned. As they consider what Ember sees in their relationship, Rachel and Ryan explore what it means to build a life around capacity, strengths, care, and the freedom to keep rewriting as they grow.

Fire #6: Balancing More Than the Books

Money is rarely just about the numbers. It carries the stories we inherited, the goals we share, and the roles we navigate within a relationship. In Fire #6, Rachel and Ryan reflect on their very different starting points with money, the financial goals they have pursued together, and how their approach has evolved through career changes, growing incomes, and shifting responsibilities. They also explore what it means for Rachel to be the primary breadwinner and why earnings have never determined power, value, or contribution in their partnership. Because balancing the books is only one part of building a shared life.

Fire #5: Tending the Hearth

A typical day in the Newton household is equal parts routine, chaos, and what we lovingly call “chaotic efficiency.” In Fire #5, we walk through the rhythm of our shared life, from early mornings and school drop-off to work, dinner, bedtime, and everything required to keep the household moving in between. Along the way, we unpack what each of us owns, why our responsibilities are divided the way they are, and how our different schedules, strengths, preferences, and capacities shape the balance. Because tending the hearth is not about splitting everything equally. It is about building a life that feels fair, flexible, and cared for.

Fire #4: All We Had Was Conversation

Before we had a shared home, a marriage, or a family, all we had was conversation. Living a thousand miles apart meant that if our relationship was going to grow, we had to learn how to ask meaningful questions, stay curious, build trust, and be vulnerable - even when it felt uncomfortable. In Fire #4, we reflect on how that early necessity became the backbone of our relationship, why convenience sometimes wins over connection, and what it looks like to keep returning to conversation fifteen years later.

Fire #3: Rachel’s Spark

In the second turn in the hot seat, Ryan asks Rachel ten questions designed to reveal more of the person behind the microphone. Their conversation explores the dualities she carries—the joyful hype girl and the woman with plenty of rage, the devoted mother and ambitious leader, the person who loves deeply while still wrestling with the state of the world. From identity and meaningful work to motherhood, relationships, and the collective good, this Fire offers a candid look at what makes Rachel who she is—and what keeps her spark burning.

Fire #2: Ryan’s Spark

In our first turn in the hot seat, Rachel asks Ryan ten questions that explore the thoughtful, creative person behind the intimidating exterior. They talk about being misunderstood, learning to trust his own worth, finding confidence through creating, using humor to survive difficult seasons, and how caring for the people he loves shapes the way he moves through the world. Along the way, Ryan shares the contradictions that make him who he is and what keeps his fire burning.

Fire #1: The Kindling

Before the first Fire, there’s the kindling. In this brief introduction to The Fire Between, we’re starting with the conversation behind the conversations: what this podcast is, why we created it, and what we hope might happen when we invite you in. At the heart of The Fire Between is a simple belief: the best conversations rarely begin with answers. They begin when we’re curious enough to ask the question and brave enough to stay for whatever comes next. We’re not here as experts or professionals with a blueprint for how anyone else should live, and we’re not here to give advice. We’re simply two people with different perspectives, lived experiences, and ways of seeing the world, offering up ideas through conversation. Because we believe curiosity can take us somewhere certainty never will. That disagreement doesn’t have to mean disconnection. And that sometimes, the most meaningful growth doesn’t come from finding the right answer. It comes from having the conversation. This is The Kindling. New Fires drop every Tuesday morning. Pull up a chair. The fire’s already burning. 🔥