Dr. Anna Elton: Desire Doesn't Fade, It Redirects
Episode notes
Dr. Anna Elton is a licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical sexologist with over 15 years of clinical experience. She's the author of Couples Therapy in the Digital Age, and her new book, The Formula of Desire, draws on research with over 700 couples to explain what actually sustains attraction over time.
Andrew and Anna talk about why desire in long relationships doesn't disappear, it redirects, sometimes toward parenting or career, sometimes toward AI companions, and what that means for couples who feel like they've simply "gone flat." They cover the relationship shift model that predicts how couples drift from positive to neutral to negative, the research behind pre-terminal and terminal stages that quietly precede a gray divorce, where the modern lines of cheating actually sit in a world of OnlyFans and AI chatbots, and the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire. Anna also shares the one simple practice she recommends to every couple she works with.
Guest: Dr. Anna Elton, licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical sexologist, author of The Formula of Desire
Host: Andrew Phipps, Intimacy Inquiry