This week we're sliding on sheets and considering the tensile strength of your average hat, because it's once again time for Dealer's Choice. First, Don gets a green thumb with Fannie Tucker's, "Garden Gnome Sex Party." Then Taylor discovers a conspiracy and possibly a new literary classic with, "I Banged A Vampire And He Didn't Sparkle Like The Bitches In Twilight," by Raven Blackbird.