Codependency doesn't always look like a problem from the outside because it looks like kindness, sacrifice, and being the reliable one.

On this 2-part episode we're pulling that apart.

We talk about the differences between codependency and people pleasing, why both typically trace back to a fear of abandonment and a belief that you have to be useful to be worth keeping around.

Then we get into boundaries, the actual mechanics of setting and enforcing one, the cost of self abandonment when nobody's even asking you to pay it, and the grief that shows up when people leave because you finally stopped managing everyone's feelings but your own.

We also settle a pet peeve once and for all: the difference between a boundary, a rule, and an ultimatum, because they are not the same thing and most people are only doing one of them. ...