The ReLit Practice™

The ReLit Practice™

by Stacey Steele
Self-ImprovementMental Health
Season 1
Every Goodbye Needs Somewhere To Go: The Felt Separation Phase & Why It May Be The Most Important Part of Therapy
Nobody warned us about the endings. Not the dramatic ones. The quiet ones. The client who stops booking after twelve sessions. The transfer you didn't have time to process. The termination that was complete but emotionally unfinished. These endings accumulate over years — with nowhere to go. In this episode, we go deep on the felt separation phase — the third phase of the Cycle of Caring — and why learning to inhabit it with intention may be the most neglected skill in our professional toolkit. For the mid-career clinician who's tired in a way sleep doesn't fix. For the therapist who knows the way they've been ending things hasn't been working — but hasn't had the language for it. What We Cover The Cycle of Caring (Skovholt, 2005) — empathic attachment → active involvement → felt separation → recreation. The structure of our professional lives, repeated dozens of times a day. What happens when we don't attend to the full cycle. What felt separation actually is — not just formal terminations. The ambiguous endings. The forced ones. The client who said "I think I'm good" after six sessions. What happens in us when a client walks out the door. The inner therapist vs. what we hold — clients develop an internal representation of their therapist that carries the work forward (Rosenzweig et al., 1996). Who holds the internal representation of the client — and where does that go when the work ends? Felt separation fatigue vs. secondary traumatic stress — two distinct mechanisms. STS is about content exposure. Felt separation fatigue is about the relational cost of attaching and letting go, over and over, without adequate processing (Figley, 2002). Complex trauma and the weight of endings — why ordinary clinical distance activates attachment systems (Papa et al., 2024; Tanrıkulu & Gülüm, 2025). What it means to be the one who stays — while also being the one who is supposed to leave. Premature and forced endings — the confusion, self-blame, and unresolved professional grief that accumulate when endings aren't processed (Werbart et al., 2019; Piselli et al., 2011). Three protective factors the research supports Reflective processing of endings (Thomas & Otis, 2010) Intentional termination work — begin with the end in mind (Lavik et al., 2022; Chernus, 2016) Structured reflective space: supervision, peer consultation, community (Stacey et al., 2020; Silverman & Segall, 2024) Four things you can put into practice today — micro-rituals, noticing how you end sessions, bringing terminations into consultation, and naming the ending from the beginning with complex trauma clients. Resources Reset Circle — Free monthly peer group. Second Tuesday, Zoom. → https://www.relitpractice.com/circle ReLit Practice™ — Professional development for clinicians navigating burnout and moral injury. → https://www.relitpractice.com/workwithme Full reference list available at https://www.relitpractice.com/every-goodbye-needs-somewhere-to-go-the-felt-separation-phase--why-it-may-be-the-most-important-part-of-therapy
S1 · E11
Jun 4, 2026
28:29
When burnout looks different: ADHD, neurodivergence, and the helping profession
Episode Summary In this episode, Stacey Steele draws on her own experience as a psychologist diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and a growing body of research, to explore the specific intersection of neurodivergence and occupational burnout in helping professionals. If you are currently experiencing clinical impairment or a mental health crisis, please reach out to your regulatory body’s peer support program, a trusted colleague, or a mental health professional of your own. Stay in the conversation The ReLit Practice 12-week program waitlist is open, enrollment begins July for the September Cohort https://www.relitpractice.com/workwithme Before then, book a free Practice Sustainable Snapshot: https://calendly.com/relitpractice/practicesnapshot Find Stacey at the Reset Circle each month, a free monthly peer gathering for cliniciansnhttps://www.relitpractice.com/circle Research Referenced Executive function deficits mediate the link between ADHD and job burnout Emotional dysregulation as a core symptom of adult ADHD Experiences of medical students with ADHD ADHD in medical students and professionals — qualitative phenomenological study Stress and work-related mental illness among working adults with ADHD Strengths and challenges of ADHD in employment — systematic review Workplace interventions for burnout in healthcare — systematic review Neurodiversity in the healthcare profession Career sustainability and adult ADHD diagnosis Neurodiversity and inclusive workplaces — health disparities Working sustainably with ADHD or autism in the workplace ADHD in medical learners and physicians Systematic review: ADHD prevalence in medical students. (Lee & Zhang, 2025. Frontiers in Psychiatry.)
S1 · E10
May 26, 2026
26:51
Mythbusting Therapist Burnout
In this episode, Stacey Steele, R.Psych., takes on five of the most persistent and clinically consequential myths about burnout in the helping professions and replaces them with what the research actually shows. Drawing on recent empirical literature and honest personal experience, this episode reframes burnout as a nervous system and systemic response, not a personal failing. Stacey distinguishes burnout from secondary traumatic stress, compassion fatigue, moral injury, and depression, and makes the case that sustainability in clinical practice requires both individual restoration and structural accountability. Tools mentioned in the episode The PHQ-9 and the Professional Quality of Life (ProQOL) survey for formal tracking. The Greenspace Health platform for outcome data. The Bearable app for symptom and lifestyle tracking. And for the already-tired: a Post-it on the laptop, an energy rating at the end of each day, thirty days of data. Stay in the conversation The ReLit Practice 12-week program opens enrollment for the September founding cohort in July, with special pricing for the first eight clinicians. https://www.relitpractice.com/workwithme Before then, book a free Practice Sustainable Snapshot twenty minutes to look at one thing you could change this week to feel even ten percent more sustainable. https://calendly.com/relitpractice/practicesnapshot The Reset Circle is a free monthly peer gathering for clinicians. Come once or come every month. https://www.relitpractice.com/circle References Cited Bianchi, R., & Schonfeld, I. (2024). Beliefs about burnout. Work & Stress, 39, 116–134. Brindley, P., et al. (2019). Psychological ‘burnout’ in healthcare professionals. Journal of the Intensive Care Society, 20, 358–362. Camargo, G., et al. (2021). Psychological exhaustion of nursing professionals. Revista brasileira de enfermagem, 74. Hoffarth, M. (2017). The making of burnout. History of the Human Sciences, 30, 30–45. Ledingham, M., et al. (2019). ‘I should have known.’ Asia Pacific Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy, 10, 125–145. Montgomery, A., & Maslach, C. (2019). Burnout in health professionals. Smajlović, A., & Budler, L. (2025). Burnout and the stigma of help-seeking in nurses. Acta psychologica, 261. Yang, Y., & Hayes, J. (2020). Causes and consequences of burnout among mental health professionals. Psychotherapy.
S1 · E9
May 20, 2026
28:51
Awareness Won't Protect You: Why Self-Aware Therapists Still Burn Out
Most clinicians have been trained to be exquisitely self-aware. Few have been trained in what to do with what they see. In this episode, we look at what the research actually says about therapeutic self, self-awareness, and burnout and why awareness, on its own, doesn't protect you. We distinguish burnout from secondary traumatic stress, moral injury, and PTSD. We examine why self-compassion (not self-monitoring) shows up as the consistent buffer across studies. And we name the structural conditions no individual practice can substitute for. The Reset Circle™ is a free, online, monthly gathering for therapists and other helping professionals navigating burnout and the weight of practice in demanding systems. Each 60 minute circle includes a brief masterclass on topics that matter in and out of the session, a guided grounding practice, and an opportunity to reflect and share (always optional!). But mostly, this is a space you can actually exhale in with people who get it. The next one is May 12th at 7pm EST where the topic is "Bringing our whole self into the therapy room". All parts of you are welcome! Save your seat and register here: https://www.relitpractice.com/circle ───── Referenced research (linked): Exploring the use of the therapist's self in therapy: A systematic review.https://doi.org/10.1177/02537176241252363 The soul of therapy: The therapist's use of self in the therapeutic relationship. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10591-021-09614-5 The benefits of self-compassion in mental health professionals: A systematic review of empirical research. https://doi.org/10.2147/prbm.s359382 Effective burnout prevention strategies for counsellors and other therapists: A systematic review and meta-synthesis of qualitative studies. C. https://doi.org/10.1080/09515070.2024.2394767 Self-compassion explains less burnout among healthcare professionals. Minhttps://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-020-01469-5 Love yourself as a person, doubt yourself as a therapist? . https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.1977 Psychologists' engagement in reflective practice and experiences of burnout: A correlational analysis.https://doi.org/10.1080/14623943.2022.2090326 (2020). Impact of the therapist's "use of self." . https://doi.org/10.5964/ejcop.v8i1.160 The mediating role of self-compassion between mindfulness and compassion fatigue among therapists in Hong Kong. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-016-0618-5
S1 · E8
May 5, 2026
19:38
Therapists, Is the Boundaries Conversation Gaslighting You?
You've heard it. You've said it. "You just need better boundaries." But what if the boundary conversation has become part of the problem? In this episode, we explore how self-sacrifice and unrelenting standards schemas, two of the most common patterns in helping professionals , can turn well-meaning boundary advice into a shame spiral. Drawing on Jeffrey Young's schema therapy model and Skovholt and Trotter-Mathison's Clinician Paradox, we unpack why the same qualities that make you effective in clinical work are the ones that make saying no feel genuinely dangerous. This isn't an anti-boundary episode but acknowledges that burnout doesn't mean a boundary failure. You spend your life holding space for others but where do you go when you're exhausted and need it held for you? When the very nature of therapy is about giving and caring, it’s easy to forget about what we need! And when the structures we work in (even private practice) aren’t designed to hold space for us, burnout becomes real. I see this all of the time in my burnout recovery work with therapists and other helpers, they are excellent clinicians and even “do all of the things” for self care, but are still tired. It's because we can't do this alone. That's why I created the Reset Circle, because the number one agent of burnout prevention and recovery is being with peers who get it. Not bubble baths, more CE's, or boundaries. But connection. The ReLit Reset Circle™ is a no cost, monthly gathering for therapists who want to stay in this work without losing themselves, while navigating burnout, moral strain, and the emotional weight of practice inside demanding systems. Our next gathering is April 14th 7pm EST where our topic will be “Being Good Enough”. This month's Reset Circle explores the Unrelenting Standards schema and why the clinicians most committed to excellence can fall into the trap of the endless pursuit of excellence which can be another mask for burnout. We will look at the impact of overfunctioning and what it looks like to practice “enough-ness”. Register here: https://www.relitpractice.com/circle References & Links: Young, J. E., Klosko, J. S., & Weishaar, M. E. (2003). Schema Therapy: A Practitioner's Guide. Guilford Press. https://www.guilford.com/books/Schema-Therapy/Young-Klosko-Weishaar/9781593853723 https://www.routledge.com/The-Resilient-Practitioner/Skovholt-Trotter-Mathison/p/book/9781138830073 https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/cpp.70115 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK614517/ https://www.guilford.com/books/DBT-Skills-Training-Manual/Marsha-Linehan/9781462516995 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2213058614200179 https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/cpp.2328
S1 · E7
Apr 6, 2026
14:56
“I’ve done all the right things, so why do I feel this way?”
If you’re a clinician providing therapy, how many times today have you used the word “boundaries”? Likely in the context of working with someone in their relationships or helping someone try to get more balance in their life. Now, in your professional context, what comes up when you think of boundaries? Maybe your ethical code and standards of practice, your schedule, client contact (or if you’re like me, always working on ending sessions on time!). You've probably even read the articles. You might have even written one. "Ten Self-Care Strategies for Therapists." "How to Prevent Burnout in Clinical Practice." "The Importance of Boundaries for Helping Professionals." You have likely done most of what they suggest too. You exercise, go to your own therapy, do the breathwork. You read the books, take the trainings, get supervision. You set boundaries, at least you do your best. You do what you’re supposed to do. Then why are you exhausted? I hear this question all the time from mid-career clinicians, the ones with seven, twelve, or eighteen years of experience. The ones who have enough clinical skill to do complex work, supervise others, and who have enough self-awareness to know something is wrong but internalize it as they are the ones doing it wrong. What if the problem isn't your self-care? This is the first episode in a multi-part series on clinician sustainability, building on earlier episodes exploring moral injury and the systemic forces shaping clinical work. Reflection Prompts When you say you're "burned out," what are you actually describing — exhaustion, shame, grief, or a values violation? Which of the four constructs (burnout, secondary traumatic stress, vicarious traumatization, moral injury) most closely maps onto what you're carrying right now? Is your current practice designed for sustainability or for output? Whose interests does that design serve? Where do the Self-Sacrifice or Unrelenting Standards schemas show up in how you relate to your work? Connect You hold space for others but where do you go when you need it held for you? Join me at the ReLit Reset Circle™ A no cost, monthly gathering for therapists who want to stay in this work without losing themselves, while navigating burnout, moral strain, and the emotional weight of practice inside demanding systems. Next gathering is April 14th 7pm EST where our topic will be “Being Good Enough”. Register here: https://www.relitpractice.com/circle Registration gives you access to the replay, subscription to the ReLit Practice Newsletter where I share topics about therapist burnout recovery, moral injury, trauma informed care, and how to stay in this work without losing yourself! When you register, you'll also get access to the free Reset Checklist, a practical starting point for noticing where your system is right now, and you'll be first in line when doors open for the ReLit Practice program.
S1 · E6
Mar 31, 2026
20:42
The Cycle of Caring: The Rhythm of a Sustainable Practice
If someone asked you to name the core tool of your clinical practice, what would you say? EMDR? CBT? Your favourite assessment measure? Maybe it's none of the above. And maybe it’s you. The caring self, who you are in the therapy space, is the primary therapeutic instrument. And like any instrument, it needs tending and tuning. In this episode, I walk through the Cycle of Caring, a four-phase framework that maps the rhythm we move through with every client: empathic attachment, active involvement, felt separation, and re-creation. I explore what happens in our nervous systems during each phase, where moral injury and schema patterns show up, and why the phases we skip most, felt separation and re-creation, are exactly the ones that make the rest of the cycle sustainable. This episode is for you if you’ve ever closed a session, opened the door, and realized you’re still carrying the last client’s material into the next room. It’s for you if “self-care” has started to feel like another thing on the to-do list. And it’s for you if you’ve been wondering whether the weight you’re carrying is burnout, or something more structural. You hold space for others but where do you go when you need it held for you? Join me at the ReLit Reset Circle™ A no cost, monthly gathering for therapists who want to stay in this work without losing themselves, while navigating burnout, moral strain, and the emotional weight of practice inside demanding systems. Next gathering is April 14th 7pm EST where our topic will be “Being Good Enough”. Register here: https://www.relitpractice.com/circle Registration gives you access to the replay, subscription to the ReLit Practice Newsletter where I share topics about therapist burnout recovery, moral injury, trauma informed care, and how to stay in this work without losing yourself! When you register, you'll also get access to the free Reset Checklist, a practical starting point for noticing where your system is right now, and you'll be first in line when doors open for the ReLit Practice program. References Mentioned Skovholt, T. M. (2005). The cycle of caring: A model of expertise in the helping professions. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 27(1), 82–93. Skovholt, T. M., & Trotter-Mathison, M. (2016). The resilient practitioner: Burnout and compassion fatigue prevention and self-care strategies for the helping professions (3rd ed.). Routledge. Young, J. E., Klosko, J. S., & Weishaar, M. E. (2003). Schema therapy: A practitioner’s guide. Guilford Press.
S1 · E4
Mar 24, 2026
24:54
Is It Really Burnout? The Weight of Moral Injury
Thank you for listening! Everything on this podcast is guided by five pillars, recognizing and releasing burnout, repairing and rewiring overfunctioning patterns, restoring rhythm and regulation, redesigning practice for long-term sustainability, and relighting passion so you can stay in the work without losing yourself. Therapist burnout is often framed as having poor boundaries, inadequate self care, or exhaustion. For many mid-career clinicians, the deeper core of this is moral injury, the impact (psychological and physical) of being repeatedly placed in situations that compromise our ethics and values. Questions for Reflection Reframe: What changes for you when I reframe “I am broken” to “I’ve been hurt by a broken system”? Connect: Who are the people you trust that get it? How can you connect with them? Feel: What does your body feel like when this topic comes up? What practices soothe that feeling (if painful)? Clarity: What values are most important to you in this work? How do you practice them in and out of session? Join Me In The Reset Circle You hold space for others but where do you go when you need it held for you? Join me on the second Tuesday of every month for the ReLit Reset Circle™: A Monthly Reset for Therapists. https://www.relitpractice.com/circle Research Cited Čartolovni, A., Stolt, M., Scott, P.A., & Suhonen, R. (2021). Moral injury in healthcare professionals: A scoping review and discussion. Nursing Ethics.https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0969733020966776 Coimbra, B.M., Zylberstajn, C., van Zuiden, M., Hoeboer, C.M., Feijo Mello, A., Feijo Mello, M., & Olff, M. (2024). Moral injury and mental health among health-care workers during the COVID-19 pandemic: Meta-analysis. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/20008066.2023.2299659#d1e352 Dean, W., Morris, D., Manzur, M.K., & Talbot, S. (2024). Moral injury in health care: A unified definition and its relationship to burnout. Federal Practitioner https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/20008066.2023.2299659#abstract Litz, B.T., Stein, N., Delaney, E., et al. (2009). Moral injury and moral repair in war veterans: A preliminary model and intervention strategy. Clinical Psychology Review https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735809000920 Shay, J. (2014). Moral injury. Psychoanalytic Psychology, 31(2), https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0036090 Usset, T.J., Baker, L.D., Griffin, B.J., et al. (2024). Burnout and turnover risks for healthcare workers in the United States: Downstream effects from moral injury exposure. Scientific Reports https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-024-74086-0
S1 · E3
Mar 3, 2026
18:34
Burnout Isn’t Exhaustion. It’s Grief, Moral Injury, and Why Rest Doesn’t Touch I
Rest didn't fix it. That's because burnout in clinical practice is often driven by something different: grief. Grief requires a different kind of repair. In this episode, we go beneath the surface of therapist burnout to explore its intersection with moral injury: the wound that forms when clinicians are repeatedly asked to act against their own values. We talk about why rest alone doesn't heal this kind of harm, how ethical compromise accumulates in the nervous system, and what genuine recovery actually looks like, built on autonomy, values alignment, and honest reckoning with the systems shaping your practice. If you've ever felt like you're mourning the work you trained to do, this conversation is where I'd start. In this episode: Why burnout and grief so often look the same — and why the distinction matters The difference between exhaustion, burnout, secondary traumatic stress, and moral injury How ethical compromise shows up in the body and the work Why "rest more" is not a treatment plan for moral injury What recovery actually requires The Research Behind This Episode: The WHO (2019) classifies burnout as an occupational phenomenon — not a personal one — defined by exhaustion, cynicism, and reduced professional efficacy. That framing matters. It locates the problem in conditions, not character. → https://www.who.int/news/item/28-05-2019-burn-out-an-occupational-phenomenon-international-classification-of-disease Maslach & Leiter (2016) showed that burnout emerges at the intersection of individual experience and workplace environment. Emotional exhaustion is only one dimension — depersonalization and loss of professional efficacy are equally significant, and harder to recover from without structural change. → https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4911781/ Golkar et al. (2019) documented the physiological signature of burnout: dysregulated stress response systems, altered HPA axis functioning, and measurable changes in how the nervous system processes threat. This is not metaphor. Burnout changes the body. → https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6701350/ Čartolovni et al. (2021) clarified that moral injury is distinct from burnout — it arises specifically from perpetrating, witnessing, or failing to prevent acts that violate one's moral code, or from institutional betrayal. For clinicians, this often means the system, not the client, is the source of the wound. → https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8366182/ Williamson, Murphy & Greenberg (2020) connected moral injury directly to frontline clinical work, establishing that the conditions of care delivery — not just the content — generate injury. → https://academic.oup.com/occmed/article/70/5/317/5842928 Purcell et al. (2024) found that moral injury in healthcare workers is significantly linked to organizational culture and modifiable workplace conditions — reinforcing that recovery isn't only an inside job. The conditions have to change too. → https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11951272/
S1 · E2
Feb 24, 2026
9:03
Holding Space While Living Through Harm: Therapist Burnout, Moral Injury, and Sustainable Healing
Burnout, Moral Injury, and Sustainable Recovery for Therapists In this episode, we explore why burnout for therapists often reflects ethical strain, cumulative trauma exposure, and nervous system overload rather than simple fatigue. Reflection & Journaling Exercises for Clinicians If you want a deeper dive into moral injury and burnout, take some time and reflect on the following: Values: • Where in my work lately have I felt that something is off? • Which value feels most challenged: dignity, safety, fairness, integrity, access to care? Somatic Awareness • When during my workday does my body feel most activated? • What small reset could I realistically do between sessions? Restoring Agency • Where do I feel I have no choice right now? • Where might I have one small choice I have not been using? Overfunctioning Patterns • What am I afraid will happen if I don’t keep pushing? • What would sustainable care look like without self-sacrifice? Redesigning Your Practice • What part of my workload take the most energy? • What part of my workload is the most energizing? Stay Connected & Explore More ReLit Practice™ Newsletter https://relitpractice.com/newsletter Find me on Substack https://substack.com/@staceysteele Follow on Instagram https://instagram.com/staceysteelepsychology Podcast Feed https://media.rss.com/relitpractice/feed.xml Stacey Steele Psychology https://steelepsychology.com YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@relitpractice Research & Evidence Referenced Burnout as a Systems Issue Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Understanding the burnout experience: Recent research and its implications for psychiatry. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/wps.20311 Meta-analysis on Moral Injury Severity https://www.researchgate.net/publication/389000562 Secondary Traumatic Stress Whittenbury et al. (2025). https://doi.org/10.1177/15248380241309371 Power, Agency, and Burnout Inequities Kirk et al. (2023). https://doi.org/10.1177/26320770231189611 Norris & Primm (2022). https://psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/appi.ps.20220522 References are provided for educational purposes only and do not constitute therapy, supervision, or individualized clinical consultation.
S1 · E1
Feb 17, 2026
13:27