After taking a week off, the gang comes back like four exhausted mall cops trying to process a world where people are emotionally cheating with AI girlfriends.

In this episode of Not That Damn Show a lawyer got caught doing deeply illegal things with the family dog, and somebody in Florida almost burned down an apartment over missing apple slices.

Ian launches into a full boomer meltdown over paper McFlurry cups and disappearing ketchup dispensers while Mikey casually explains there are apparently alien races living underground.

Jenn warns us about Ebola patients running loose in the Congo and everybody accidentally creates the world’s worst conversation about train sex.

Also, somebody genuinely asked us to bring beat “Brat Strokes C*ock” … which is 100% NOT the name of the game.

Humanity may actually be cooked. We ...