Model Parenting

Model Parenting

by David & Farah Isbell

Season 1

Right/Wrong, Reality, Purpose

In the last episode we covered first two of 5 specific worldview questions (Authority, Humanity); this covers the last 3 (Right/Wrong, Reality, Purpose). Values driven model building can be used without examining worldview, but it is so much smoother when worldview perspectives are considered beforehand and throughout the process. Show Notes: Right/Wrong: Matthew 4:1-11 Real: 1 Corinthians 2 Purpose: John 15:1-17; 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 Connection Activity: Read The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams Resource: Think Like Jesus by George Barna

Authority and Humanity

This episode gives an overview of the first two of five foundational worldviews. If you are wanting to go straight to values workshop information, you can skip this episode and the next and move on to episode 11. SHOW NOTES: References: Matthew 7;21-29' Luke 23:39-43; Matthew 28:18; Genesis 1:26; Genesis 2:7; Ephesians 2:1-10; Isaiah 55:8-9; 1 Timothy 4 :8-10 Connection Activity: Pray first and use this as fun with your own Heavenly Father! Take the kids along but focus on Him for some of it! Resist the urge to teach the kids anything. Let Him bring into conversation if He chooses. Play with umbrellas in rain AND in noontime sun. Notice and marvel at the freedom this allows to stay dry and stay shaded! Also notice there are some places umbrellas refuse to go...although they go up and down stairs, over bridges, under awnings, and under trees, they won’t remain open and cover though railings, though playground tunnels, under benches, or though car doors. What places can you discover? Resource; George Barna's Think Like Jesus concentric circles (see photo) Dannah Gresh A Mom's Guide to Lies Girls Believe & the Truth that Sets Them Free (Chap 1) There is a tree illustration and explanation that is similar to the circles along with a great synopsis of the difference between "common virtue" (doing what is right with false motives) and "true virtue" (doing what is right because it is and "outgrowth of God's Truth planted deep inside the heart).

It all starts here

Synopsis: Ep 1-3 how targeting a model is beneficial and effort involved Ep4-7 some practices that inform the process of defining values to move you closer to target Ep 8: Review and reminders before worldview discussions Connection Activity: watch a movie from your childhood with your kids (age appropriate) and ask what was their favorite part. Ask if they want to know your's before you just volunteer the information. If they say "no", don't be offended, just make a note that they is where they are currently in development.

Studying kids

This episode is mostly about studying the kids, but it is beneficial to study yourself and your spouse to the degree they will agree to share. It is simply from a heart of interest; not to manipulate. Perspectives cannot be "right" or "wrong". Every perspective is from a certain angle and therefore is missing some information to see the whole. Two or more perspectives can multiply the beauty of something and optimize the view of a problem or conflict. SHOW NOTES AND RESOURCES: Connection Activity : For couples, the date at the bottom of this blog post: https://www.platimebox.com/blog-1/2019/5/19/perspective-pla-activity Resource: Adults watch for yourselves...Anthony Browne agrees vehemently that you should never let yourself "outgrow" a picture book and this one has so much to reveal!! We prefer this particular one because it gives the viewer extra time with the pictures. **notice how the trees change with each voice Voices in the Park book by Anthony Browne read aloud video https://youtu.be/kyCUnHLe88s For more study: 1)Development: Ready Reference chart https://pin.it/1D73ESe https://pin.it/1Jq4Ea0 Ch. 4 & 5 - Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend Ch. 4 & 5 - Dannah Gresh books 6 Ways to Keep the Good in Your Boy or 6 Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl 2)Fear development stages: https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/List-of-Childrens-Top-Worries-by-Age-2430926 3)Personal or Collective traumas 4)Learning style: overview - https://www.wikihow.com/Determine-Your-Child%27s-Learning-Style 5)Current Influences- music, media, social media, top 3 closest friends, which coach, mentor, or teacher would they go to for advice, what teacher/coach are they with most time out of the day, books, 6)Temperament:https://youtu.be/QTg-dGI-jaY https://youtu.be/yBr4XNu-KyI 7)Birth Order: Kevin Leman's New Birth Order book 8)Love Languages: Gary Chapman https://www.5lovelanguages.com/store/the-5-love-languages-of-children / https://www.5lovelanguages.com/store/a-teens-guide-to-the-5-love-languages 9) Strengths: https://www.amazon.com/StrengthsFinder-2-0-Tom-Rath/dp/159562015X https://www.lifehack.org/890036/childs-strengths 10) how they would like to celebrate their birthday or an achievement 11) what activities energize / what activities drain 12) Any labels they are including in their identity ( compliments or complaints others say about them repeatedly)

Foundations of Sibling Relationship

CORRECTION: We hold Scripture in high regard and in this episode, we got a little confused on some details so we want to address that here. The account to which we refer of Cain and Abel is found in Genesis 4. Abel actually kept flocks, and Cain worked with fruit of the soil. Scripture says Cain brought "some of fruits" to God; Abel brought select "fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock." Can you see the difference in detail and the forethought? the heart behind the behavior? In this episode we discuss choosing to bring in sibling connection rather than accept "sibling rivalry" as well as disconnecting the word "proud" from performance. We also discuss the parental investment of time, money and protection of margin, as well as relational rupture and repair. SHOW NOTES: Flow chart image of attachment cycle. Remember disruption can be from world (i.e. wave) or from one or the other person. As the caregiver, the repair is crucial either way. https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5c89a29bd745627e9db2053e/t/6227f2bae6b7380d995a2ca2/1646785219409/Beautiful+Creation+Attachment+Infographic+%281%29. Connection Activity: Complete a Team carry (with 2 people)! Hook hands like the photo and balance a bean bag or sock filled with rice on top as you go through an obstacle course or playground. Switch partners if more than 2 in family and repeat with others cheering you on. You can also team carry with a bucket of water hanging on a bat or stick. Try not to spill the water. Resources: Connection quizzes in Dannah Gresh books 6 Ways to Keep the Good in Your Boy and 6 Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl Bonus resources: 1) Teamwork in the home bloghttps://www.platimebox.com/blog-1/2020/3/6/key-purpose-highlight-teamwork. 2) Parent checklist blog https://www.platimebox.com/blog-1/2018/1/8/parents-intent-and-investment-in-sibling-relationship 3)Helping siblings plan for and give attention to each other https://www.platimebox.com/blog-1/2017/6/5/platime-with-multiple-children-part-3 4) Alone time helps manage and train attention needs https://www.platimebox.com/blog-1/2017/17/5/alone-time

Foundations of Parent-Child Relationship - Pt. 2

Episode 4 and 5 are connected. Respect is currency within the parent-child relationship. Choices and obedience work to increase flow & exchange of that currency. Episode 5 discusses clarifying the definition of obedience & how to train obedience.

Foundations for Parent-Child Relationship Pt.1

Episode 4 & 5 work together to cover this concept of foundations. Respect is currency within the parent-child relationship. Choices and obedience work to increase the flow and exchange of that currency. Episode 4 discusses the benefits of choices, some ways to use them in the daily and mundane, and some spiritual hindsight to how God used them to show us more of Himself. SHOW NOTES; Resource: Don't Push the Button by Bill Cotter Image to help clarify: Google a meme that shows “Religion is ‘I messed up; Dad is going to kill me, ‘ / Relationship is, ‘I messed up; I need to call my dad!’”

Behind the Curtain

Special guests Dax, Cole, and Korwyn join David and Farah to answer questions from a kids' perspective. They help give a broader view of model parenting from other perspectives. SHOW NOTES: Connection Activity: Movie night Resource Goal: Family night jar with ideas that every family member contributes. "Your input into our family matters!" **Each family's kids should be the primary source for family fun ideas for this container. The following are just brainstorming cues to get you started: Go to a playground, have a picnic supper, go window viewing at some stores that are already closed, have each person pick their one favorite thing or sign or graphic from 3 or 4 windows, family story time, what can we buy with the change in the ash tray from the gas station or dollar store?, Nerf gun battle, urban disc golf with frisbees at a park, dance party, etc.

10 Years

This "disclaimer episode" acknowledges the effort and the time that model parenting entails! It lists the work but highlights the commitment and how it is so worth it, especially when keeping the end goal in mind! SHOW NOTES: Connection Activity: Aluminum Foil river Resource:

What's a Model (sound improves in ep.3)

Build relational momentum and enjoy each other more by choosing a model for parenting! Models for this are NOT any people! Model parenting is a process! Pressure to "be" model parents or try to exactly copy others can dampen the parenting experience. There is a wondrous momentum that builds as one generation chooses to keep certain things to piece together for their family and release other things. These are not all the same for every family. This podcast will provide resources, questions, and concepts, with stories of success and failure to engage conversations for targeting and chasing a family's unique model. May we all continue to shape and hone shared model momentum and enjoyment of each other! SHOW NOTES: Luke 1:17: “…he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready for the Lord a people prepared.” Connection Activity: Build a model as a family Resource: Scary Close by Donald Miller https://www.christianbook.com/scary-close-dropping-finding-true-intimacy/donald-miller/9780785213185/pd/213187

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