Ep. #20 - Are Late Afternoons and Evenings when You Feel like You're Losing Your Mind?

What do the words self-control, self-regulation, self-soothing, and self-care have to do with after-school time, and your child’s out-of-control behavior? That’s exactly what Kelly is addressing in today’s episode.

1. Self-control

   1. Definition: Inhibiting impulses/exercising restraint

   2. Every human needs to have the ability to practice self-control.

   3. Self-control is STOPPING or NOT doing something.

2. Self-regulation

   1. This is the umbrella over emotional, physical, social, and mental regulation.

   2. Definition: being able to identify the causes of the impulse/behavior/feeling in yourself

   3. Self-regulation is often DOING something.

   4. Self-regulation keeps us in a state of homeostasis.

      1. This can be difficult for young kids to figure out in new or different environments.

      2. They need us to guide them, and to be regulated ourselves.

      3. Be aware of how you self-regulate.

3. Self-soothing

   1. Definition: a tool that humans use to calm or soothe themselves

   2. Self-soothing is the first step to learning self-regulation.

      1. Every human has a different pace/rhythm to accomplish this.

      2. Empower kids to do this for themselves.

   3. Note about new routines/new sensory stimulation/new rules (ex. new school year)

      1. This can be a lot for a small child to deal with.

      2. These little bodies are exhausted, holding it together all day long.

      3. Home is safe, so the energy they wanted to get out all day comes out when they’re home after school.

      4. Their bodies need time to adjust to the new school routine: give them two weeks to a month.

   4. Self-soothing techniques

      1. Sometimes these don’t work in the new environment.

         1. Thumb-sucking

         2. Blanket

         3. Stuffed animal

      2. Help them to find new ways to self-soothe in the new environment.

4. Self-care

   1. Definition: vital things that you need to do in your day that allow you to show up the best that you can, mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally

   2. Help kids understand what they need to do every day to show up as their best.

   3. Self care for moms is incredibly important.

      1. If you are depleted, you don’t have the ability to support everyone else in your world.

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