Self over Society Podcast

Self over Society Podcast

by Stevie Barker
Season 3
The intersection of people pleasing and alcohol consumption
Connect with me on Instagram @steviebarkerhealth :)
Are you optimizing for the morning or the evening?
Have you ever come across the quote, "An hour before 9 am is worth 2 after 5 pm"? Now, consider this: Do you prioritize the morning or the evening? In this case, the evening involves socializing after work, going out for drinks with friends, and perhaps using mornings for recovery rather than productivity. This episode encourages us to reconsider our priorities rather than solely seeking answers from others' successes. Why? Because their path might not align with our capabilities or true desires. What they pursued may be dictated by trends rather than genuine aspirations, and we need to truly desire our goals and actively pursue them. External factors can heavily influence someone else's success, so let's explore how to ingest this and determine what works best for us. It all begins with asking the right questions and understanding the priorities that shape our lives. *Episode #529: The Learning Leader Show with Ryan Hawk -> James Clear referring to the seeing if across the board there is a collective process that allowed individuals to reach their desired outcome. Connect with me on Instagram for health, wellness, and lifestyle stuff within a modern, sober, and collective space.
Embracing the endless journey: A shift in perspective
I once heard this powerful phrase that's stuck with me ever since: "Marry the process, divorce the result." For far too long, I've measured my happiness and success through the lens of others' expectations and societal standards. It's been a rollercoaster, trying to find confidence in my own pursuits amidst this external noise. When we chase after goals based on what's popular or what society tells us is the definition of success, we lose sight of what truly brings us joy. We get so fixated on the end result that we forget to appreciate the journey, and when things don't go as planned, the lows hit even harder because we didn't embrace the process. We need to shift our focus from the outcome to the journey itself. Every triumph and setback is part of the process, and it's in understanding and accepting this that we find resilience and fulfillment. Connect with me on Instagram for health, wellness, and lifestyle stuff within a modern, sober, and collective space.
Embracing the “I don’t care” mindset alongside sober confidence and letting go of the fear of others
Season 3 has kicked off, exploring my transition from a chaotic life of weekend binge drinking to becoming a self-taught entrepreneur. My goal is to assist others in finding their true selves without relying on artificial enhancements! Embracing the "I don't care" mindset alongside sober confidence and letting go can be transformative. I remember the time I walked around my neighborhood multiple times just to find a moment to film myself without feeling judged is a clear example of how the fear of judgment can hold us back from being ourselves. This small incident highlights a bigger issue of letting imagined judgments control our actions, even in more important situations. It's time to break free from these self imposed limitations and stop dwelling on "maybes" and "what ifs." Comparing the carefree attitude when drinking with the sober reality reveals a crucial truth: often, we pretend not to care, but deep down, we do. Overcoming discomfort and fear of judgment without relying on alcohol is essential for genuine self-assurance. Truly embracing indifference to others' opinions requires facing discomfort head on, rather than masking it with substances. Our own fear of self criticism and excessive concern for what others think can hold us back. But letting others judge while we pursue our dreams is the path to true freedom! It's easy to make excuses to avoid discomfort, but the real obstacle lies within our own minds—our self-talk and mindset. It's time to challenge these internal barriers and step boldly into the unknown, embracing growth and authenticity with unwavering determination. Connect with me on Instagram for health, wellness, and lifestyle stuff within a modern, sober, and collective space.
Season 2
Dedicating effort to both work and relationships, ensuring they are mutually fulfilling
It’s crucial to recognize the importance of dedicating effort to both work and relationships, ensuring they are mutually fulfilling. This enables us to assess whether our partners or social circles positively contribute to our lives and helps us evaluate how we utilize our time. Once we value our time, it becomes essential to adjust our routines to prioritize meaningful pursuits. Emphasizing the significance of investing time in activities that bring genuine happiness and long-term fulfillment is key. This process begins by asking ourselves the right questions. -Does your partner challenge you? and do you both hold each other accountable? -If you’re single, consider who you spend your time with. Are they positively impacting your life, or do they encourage unhealthy habits? -Do your conversations leave you feeling happy and inspired, or do you crave more depth? -Is your work becoming monotonous? Have you experienced the downsides of remote work? -Are you frequently comparing yourself to others? -With whom do you feel a connection? -What helps you find mental release? Connect with me on Instagram for health, wellness, and lifestyle stuff within a modern, sober, and collective space.
Celebrating personal victories without seeking external validation
We have this tendency to share our goals and resolutions with the world, only to feel disappointed when we don’t follow through. I fell into this trap and it led to repeated failures. The turning point came when I decided to focus on personal growth without the need for external validation. By prioritizing my mental health and fitness journey quietly, I found more meaningful success because I did it for me. The message is clear: celebrate your victories for yourself first, and the recognition will come naturally. Connect with me on Instagram for health, wellness, and lifestyle stuff within a modern, sober, and collective space.
Ask yourself if you possess a compelling story of growth and perseverance that you could confidently share with an audience
Who controls your story? Does it mirror who you aspire to be or who you aim to avoid becoming? A valuable self reflection is asking yourself if you have a journey of progress, growth, and discovery to confidently share with others. If not, it might suggest reevaluating your priorities and surroundings. Connect with me on Instagram for health, wellness, and lifestyle stuff within a modern, sober, and collective space.
Don't hesitate to pursue opportunities if they pose no severe risks
We often overthink the "what ifs" before making decisions, which is a good practice in theory, evaluating the pros and cons of a pursuit. However, it's crucial not to let this cautious approach stop you from pursuing opportunities once you realize they carry minimal risk. I've been in situations where I wanted certain things in life but lacked the courage to act because I was too focused on things like my age or potential obstacles. However, with clarity and newfound confidence that came with sobriety, I started taking more risks. One risk led me to a role I later discovered I'm not extremely passionate about but I found that it provided me with the flexibility to develop my brand and pursue my passions, and I'm still in this role today! Connect with me on Instagram for health, wellness, and lifestyle stuff within a modern, sober, and collective space.
If you find yourself in a position of control but fail to act, it’s important to reassess your priorities
First and foremost, it is crucial to distinguish between what is within your control and what is not. Once you have this understanding, you can reflect on the reasons behind your lack of action despite having control. We often overlook our superpower—control—because we're preoccupied with external factors, such as opting for the easy way out. Accessing this power becomes difficult when our minds are clouded and we’re not thinking clearly. By taking a few minutes to assess the situation, we can influence the outcome to our advantage instead of acting irrationally. Connect with me on Instagram for health, wellness, and lifestyle stuff within a modern, sober, and collective space.
When confronted with circumstances beyond your control, accept them and focus on moving forward
“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Here, we break down the Serenity Prayer, not just in its relevance to our relationship with alcohol, but also in its applicability to our everyday lives. I struggled with discerning the aspects within my control and those beyond it, as I often found myself consumed by 'what if' scenarios or fabricating problems to maintain a sense of control. Getting sober made me realize the massive amount of energy and time wasted on things that don't help us move forward. Connect with me on Instagram for health, wellness, and lifestyle stuff within a modern, sober, and collective space.
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