Kissed By Fire
Season 1
by StefLyoness and BWord
Firstly... I'm so sorry. This recording was SUCH a pain in the backside to edit. The audio was awful and all attempts to improve it made it worse AND made it harder to cut out things I normally save you from hearing, such as chair noises, page turns, clattering pens... There is a section of weird noises I left in, but that was because it was funny. The problem is fixed so next time better (if not normal lol) service will be resumed. Secondly, here is the latest episode! Beth and Stef cover A Time Of Testing, when Jaehaerys finally gets to be an actual King and get on with the job of Kinging. He has to sort shit out at the Red Keep. Also make sure everything is good with The Faith because, oopsy, he accidentally married his sister and Westerosi people haven't historically been into that. In addition, he's got step-daddy from hell and treasonous-bro-in-chief, Rogar Baratheon to sort out once and for all, plus empty royal coffers (new Targ house words: No Money, Mo' Problems) and a prodigal sister that turns up needing a place to stay. Oh, also, my bad: I keep saying Yandel wrote Fire And Blood. It's not. It's really, really not. It's GYLDAYNE. FFS. I have self-flagellated (ooh errr) and vow never to make that mistake again! After all that, enjoy the episode! Love from, Stef and Beth
Come hear the juice! We have it all. The second half of this chapter is a doozy. In more bizarre twists and turns for this historical tome, we jump around Westeros, catching up with Rhaena and her court on Fair Isle for a bit. Not before jumping to Kings Landing for some sexy taxation talk (don't say we never give you treats), then a quick dip into Dorne, a sojourn in The North at The Wall to look at some naughty Nights Watchmen before settling back in The South at Dragonstone where we see if plans to scupper the marriage of Jaehaerys and Alysanne work out, and finally in Kings Landing where Rogar Baratheon casts the die for his downfall. That's right, there is treason afoot. The Maesters get bitchy. The Lannisters get greedy. Stef's mic is annoying. Her doorbell rings as well. Beth's chair wants to be the third on our podcast. And a fly gets frisky in Stef's office. It all happens on Episode 11!
This one goes out to all the Bros! Bro-ratheons of the world, assemble! This chapter is where Fire and Blood turns into a Telenovela: He hates her because this and she resents him because that, and they all hate that guy because secretly this person is married to their sister. No. Really. There are schemes and plots and dastardly doings! Wicked Stepfathers! Sexcapades! Naughty books! Homoerotic sword-fighting! BRogar Baratheon himself gets quite the pasting from Stef (get ready for a 10 minute rant about THAT guy). As always Beth's squeaky chair make itself known, as do Stef's noisy kids. We can only apologise. Extra apologies for Stef's reading which they have realised is rushed AF. Notes have been taken and it will not happen again. Promise.
Another bride, another groom. Another sunny honeymoon. But there is no Makin' Whoopee in this part of the chapter...It's the final wedding in the Year of The Three Brides. Another royal do. But this one is as secret as the first, and arguably more significant than the second. Listen to this to hear Stef and Beth discuss Targaryen incest, why having chins, teats and sense is apparently important in a bride (according to Lord Rogar Baratheon), and just what takes place when someone tries to tell Alysanne and Jaehaerys Targaryen who they are supposed to or not supposed to marry. Stef's noisy family try to make themselves heard in the background of this. For which they can only apologise. Beth's chair also makes itself known as a special guest as well. Enjoy the episode and let us know what you think! Thanks, love you, byeeee!
Ding dong, the bells are going to chime! This chapter contains three weddings. There is so much information about them (thanks GRRM) that we've had to divide the chapter and only talk about the first two this time. The first wedding is secretive and small! The second is lusty and lewd! Listen as Septon Poopy Pants performs the wedding rites for Lord Lusty Knickers (apologies, that word is horrible). We learn more about Queen Alyssa, Princess Alysanne, King Jaehaerys and also, Lord Pervy Pants himself, Rogar Baratheon. BWord and StefLyoness break down his character and look into Greek, Norse and Roman mythology and how it relates to who the actual heck the Baratheons are and what their deal really is.This episode features: Jousting! Melées! Feasts and Frolics! Orgies! And so much more! Not least StefLyoness's super creaky chair that really wanted to be a part of the episode and have its opinions heard. For that she can only apologise. Enjoy, and as always, leave a review if you want. We always appreciate it. Happy listening!
Welcome to episode seven of Kissed By Fire! As it's the seventh episode Beth and Stef do their best to honour The Seven themselves with chat about the fallout from Maegor The Cruel's dramatic end. This is a shorter chapter from Fire and Blood by GRRM, but it is packed with drama and mystery. Like: what really happened to Septon Moon? And: who in the hell was he any way? And why did he hate on Targs so much? We also deep dive into the new King of Westeros, Jaehyaerys, First of His Name. At 14 years of age he is too young to rule, so who is truly in charge of the realm? And when there are other claimants, why should HE ascend the throne? There are identity swaps, a number of not-really trials, and heads wrapped up and sent as gifts. Oh and Stef tries to make "Coolio-Boolio" happen. Let us know what you think by rating us and giving us feedback!
Maegor! Was he cruel? Or a misunderstood Zombie creation? He battles The Faith, forces many women to marry him and really enjoys a good fire started by Balerion. Beth and Stef ask if he really was mad, or simply kink-positive and against organised religion? (note: forced marriage is never just a kink, people!) This episode is jam-packed full of whodunnits, whoisits, and whofarteds. Let us know in the comments if you liked it, and if you have any answers to the questions posed by this huge chapter of Fire and Blood by George R R Martin.
This time, BWord and StefLyoness dissect half of the chapter, "Sons of the Dragon" from Fire And Blood by George R R Martin. It's a long chapter, so the episodes are long too. Aegon's sons (or were they?) are compared and contrasted and we wonder at the first failings of this new dynasty with a sense of foreboding. Plus Stef and B get all excited about the most amazing Queen of the LGBTQ+ Dragon Community, Rhaena. Yaaaas Queen.
Happy New Year! There has been a wait for this episode due to flu, technical problems and the festive season taking up our time. However, we are back! This episode, we cover not one, but two chapters of Fire and Blood, by George R R Martin. We will be dissecting the final wars Aegon The Conqueror undertook to bring the realm of Westeros together. The ones that worked, and one that really, really didn't. We also turn our heads to the governance of the Seven Kingdoms and we take a look at how the King and his sister-wives made sure the Lords, Ladies and smallfolk knew exactly who was in charge. Editors note: Stef's microphone was on the wrong setting so it picked up every single noise in the world. She has spent a tonne of time trying to rework it and edit out as much of the background noise out as possible, but in some places it just wasn't to be. As such we can only apologise for what sounds like mad stuff going on in the background but it was just her moving in her chair slightly, or replacing a pen lid. D'oh! It will be fixed for next time, we promise!
The first episode of our read through of Fire and Blood by George R. R. Martin. We look at Aegon's Conquest of Westeros, the battles he fought, the heroes that died, the villains that hid and how amazing his sisters are. Minimal spoilers but maximum nerd. There's even a cameo from Beth's squeaky chair! And Stef's kids in the background, moaning about bedtime. Enjoy!