One of the keys to the universe and a better life is our relationship with judgement of self and others. Setting it aside has been one of my biggest paths to freedom. The Path to Removing Judgement I originally posted this on LinkedIn earlier in the year. I saw a post at the start of 2022 on LinkedIn encouraging people to “purge negativity” from the new year by removing connections who post negative things. It seemed like a good idea and yet missing something. My take from the post and the comments was that if you get rid the negativity around you, then you will be positive. That hasn’t been my experience. What I found in 2021 and am continuing to this day, is an ongoing evaluation of the judgement I have of others. My own judgement creates my own internal negativity. How I react to what I read and see others post creates my own negativity. Nobody can make me feel negative. That’s my choice, even if it’s a subconscious, knee-jerk reaction. The more I own that, the more is possible. Realizing this is my ongoing work I choose not to receive content from people that I judge. It’s tempting to stay subscribed to the newsletter that has interesting ideas or to follow a person I want to model in order get ideas from them. What I’ve learned from these people is that a majority of my energy goes into critiquing and evaluating them (judgement) instead of useful learning. Yes, I realize you could argue that’s useful on its own. I felt dirty inside after doing that. I unsubscribed and unfollowed all the people and groups where this happens. It’s possible that my critique is “true.” If I don’t have a relationship with them where this critique can be useful, I’m creating a swamp of poison in my heart. Even if I did have a relationship with them, it’s doubtful I could help them in any significant way with judgement in my heart. I see this as a point in time–each “now.” Tomorrow or five years from now I may be able to read things from these same people or groups and have nothing but openness, love and acceptance in my heart. Believing I had evolved from an earlier place of judgement I re-subscribed to a place I used to have judgement around. Within receiving a few emails I was back to my old critiques. So I unsubscribed. More of my own work to do. And I don’t judge that either (except when I do, and then I forgive it). Something else to consider here is the judgement you have towards yourself. My experience is that judgement always travels as a pair. If I’m judging someone else I’m likely also judging myself about something. And if I am judging myself I’m likely judging others too. The post 114: Unsubscribing from Judgement appeared first on John Poelstra.
Maybe you can relate to my experiences and discoveries here and the revelations I had upon waking one day. Reflecting on themes around Judgement Being Doing Conversations with Lisa DiMateo Super salient thoughts right after waking The illusion that if we figure out why we will actually change Mel Robbins The Five Second Rule Credits Original photo source The post 113: Slowing Down More appeared first on John Poelstra.
Seth Vore joins me in June 2022 to give an update on the plans he shared in December 2021. Everything has come to fruition. Seth no longer lives in his house or has a job, however he does have a new boat his family is preparing to live on for the next year as they travel. Learn More about Seth Vore and His Family The Great Loop is a 6,000 mile, year-long boating trip Seth and his family are on ‘Loopers’ Say the Great Loop Is Their Appalachian Trail onFIREfamily – Website onFIREfamily – YouTube Credits Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 112: Checking in with Captain Seth Vore appeared first on John Poelstra.
Lisa DiMatteo joins me to revisit our previous conversation (Being, Doing & Enoughness) while consciously exploring new things we thought might be uncomfortable and weren’t. Background This conversation came about as a result of two things. First was feeling that we played it too safe in our first conversation. Second was misunderstanding Lisa’s reaction to a podcast I shared with her. That podcast was a conversation between Jerry Colonna and Tim Ferriss about Jerry’s two month sabbatical each year. Encouragement I encourage you to listen to this conversation from a place of awareness of what it says about you or what it brings up for you. In other words, don’t listen from a place of trying understand John better, use it to understand yourself better. Prompts to consider as you listen to this episode How is this like me? What’s uncomfortable for me to talk about? What are the places I don’t want to go? What are those things that I can’t be with? Recommended Lisa DiMatteo–Your Vital Self Tim Ferriss and Jerry Colonna—How to Reboot Yourself and Feel Unrushed in the New Year /How to Take a Two-Month Sabbatical Every Year Tim Ferriss and Jerry Colonna — The Coach with the Spider Tattoo Jerry Colonna & Krista Tippet —Can You Really Bring Your Whole Self to Work? Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 111: No-fly Zone Safari with Lisa DiMatteo appeared first on John Poelstra.
Seth Vore shares about his local boat tour company, being debt free, retirement and the year-long adventure his family is looking forward to next year on a boat. Conversation Highlights You never know how following your inklings can inform you–I would have never met Seth a couple of years ago if I hadn’t gone to a podcasting conference several years before that Stephen Warley Unstuckable Podcast Life Skills That Matter Seth’s background as a chemical engineer and how he got into wooden boats How an unfortunate accident with his first wooden boat yielded and even better boat Willamette River downtown Portland The appeal and experience of old wooden boats The magical peacefulness that comes from being on water Woodworking in Seth’s background and his enjoyment of working with his hands The sailboat Seth bought off of Craigslist in college and learning to sail it with his wife (their marriage surived) Navigating and leaping into the unknown How Seth and his family got “debt free” fifteen years ago and were on the Dave Ramsey Show All the benefits Seth’s family has experienced from being debt free Experiencing Stage 4 cancer and how it changed Seth and what he wanted for his future The Great Loop is a 6,000 mile, year-long boating trip Seth and his family are going on “You can always make more money, but you can’t make more time and you can’t buy yourself better health” Seth & his wife spend each Friday nights on YouTube recording their conversation as they look for a boat The FIRE movement–Financially Independent Retire Early The myths around why you “need a job” Getting health insurance if you don’t work for an employer or “retire early” Learn More about Seth Vore Portland Boat Tours onFIREfamily – Website onFIREfamily – YouTube Music Video LinkedIn Credits Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 110: Boats and FIRE with Seth Vore appeared first on John Poelstra.
Lisa DiMatteo joins me to discuss the dance between “being & doing” and “enoughness” against the backdrop of a three week solitude retreat I experienced in October 2021. More About Lisa DiMatteo Your Vital Self Instagram LinkedIn Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 109: Being, Doing and Enoughness with Lisa DiMatteo appeared first on John Poelstra.
Wherein I read another section from The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins and contemplate whether “action” is always the answer. Mentioned The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins Credits Original photo source The post 108: Nothing Might Be Something appeared first on John Poelstra.
Maybe you aren’t a procrastinator, a perfectionist or broken. Maybe you’re just scared. Moving forward might be as easy as having a conversation instead of staying stuck in your head and trying to do it yourself. Mentioned Lisa DiMatteo The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins 4 Ways to Overcome Your Inner Critic & Claim Your Confidence with Mel Robbins on Dear Gabby The post 107: Just Scared appeared first on John Poelstra.
Aaron Graham joins me to explore the meaning we give our experiences and how it affects us. We also discuss different ways to interact with our experiences and how to restart when we’ve lost our way. Conversation Highlights John & Aaron met as coaches to Capital One’s Money Coaching program Aaron’s path to coaching and previous background in acting Coaching helps people examine the meaning and stories they create about their lives and opens the possibility of choosing new ones Discovering the unconscious rules you are living by Choosing to change them and select new ones The amount of time we waste arguing with what is present (and often not) Sometimes we set the trajectory of our lives based on assumptions and gaps we’ve filled in that aren’t even true In the absence of concrete data our inner critic often fills in the gaps in unhelpful ways As an actor Aaron learned through many years of “rejection” that not being selected for a part often had nothing to do with him personally Taking things personally would have resulted in lasting about a week in that industry What do we have control of and what do we want to let go of? Consciously choosing how we want to use a particular situation and what we want to get from it When things don’t go the way we hoped it’s natural… To be judgemental and negative towards ourselves For our heart to take longer to catch up to our head To globalize one situation to whole of our lives Aaron’s favorite re-grounding mindfulness questions What am I experiencing and feeling right now? What does that tell me that I need in this moment? Resistance, frustration disappointment naturally keep us in a place of judgement and negativity Responding to difficult situations Not giving them meaning vs. creating a different story Choosing from a place of power and strength Taking action Creating a really negative story about a particular situation might be an indicator that you are having a stress response It can be used as a tool or an indicator of what’s going on for you instead of a story to be embraced and lived into The value of letting yourself be exactly where you are at and feel it all as deeply as you can Let that energy out Explore what it’s telling you Consider what you need We miss out and keep ourselves stuck when we tell ourselves that we are having the wrong feelings, emotions or reaction to a situation By judging the experience Not allowing our system to experience what it needs to experience so it can move on If you tell yourself that you aren’t supposed to have the experience that you are having you are judging and fighting the experience you are having and not letting your system experience what it needs to experience so it can move on “I’m noticing that I believe that…. is going to ruin my life. How true is that? What is this telling me that I need right now? Raising the consciousness around what you are experiencing Pay attention to what you are noticing When do you get triggered and go into a stress response? What are the stories you are living in? What are the rules that you live your life by? Are these things serving you or not serving you (not good vs. bad)? Judgement of self gets in the way of being able to objectively evaluate what’s genuinely serving us or not <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Acceptance-Embracing-Heart-Budd
Alfredo Deza shares what it’s like to be an Olympian, how he found his way to software and how others can get started there too. We also explore the power behind the word “yet.” Conversation Highlights Wanting to be known for who you are and not what you have done Downplaying his past as an Olympian Over time coming to embrace his past in sports and how it formed who is as a way to inspire others Persistent and consistent over time There are no shortcuts or quick tips to excellence (the story of Alfredo’s lawn) How Alfredo found his way to career in software, starting with Linux, scripting, Python and beyond (with no formal training or a college degree) Mentors in his life that would not let him quit Sending in a proposal to speak at a Python conference before he fully understood the language Story telling as an effective way of teaching in technical books The power of Yet (Alfredo’s post on LinkedIn that caught my eye) Adding “yet” to that thing you are pursuing and questioning whether you’ll get it It will work out eventually There will be no “yet” if you stop showing up Sometimes it is okay to quit Motivation is an illusion Seth Godin doesn’t believe in writer’s block Alfredo’s advice on how to get started in technology Consider your context and stage of life Gain the knowledge One thing often leads to another There are tons of free resources (including three books Alfredo wrote–see below) Go to the code repositories that benefit from using the particular resources Get experience as a contributor to the project and prove yourself The Fedora Project Go to conferences on subjects that interest you–use your own money and vacation time if you have to Find and connect with Alfredo on LinkedIn Programming Resources Microsoft Learn is a great place to get started Self-published Free books by Alfredo Deza Testing In Python Python Command Line Tools Minimal Python O’Reilly Books by Alfredo Deza Python For DevOps Practical MLOps Credits Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod Original photo source All songs licensed under Creative Commons The post 105: Alfredo Deza–Yet appeared first on John Poelstra.