Episode notes
What if the problem isn't who you are?
Narrative therapist Dr Donald McMenamin has spent 30 years and thousands of conversations helping people separate themselves from their problems and step into more nourishing stories about who they can be.
In this episode, we talk about his "two islands and a boat" metaphor, a kid at risk of expulsion who went from E's to A's, and why Donald believes problems are like bullies: they want all the air time.
We also get into restorative practice in schools, what people actually come to therapy for, why he cut his caseload from 30 clients a week to about 6, and how his faith, his family and optimistic worldview help shape the way he works and lives.
If you're a counsellor, therapist, student or just curious about how stories shape identity, this one is for you.
In this conversation:
💎 The person isn't the problem. Externalising problems, "two islands and a boat," and identity as a library of stories.
💎Identity needs an audience. Communities that notice and witness a new story.
💎Assuming an ethical self. People move toward the good. This is a gift you can give as a therapist.
💎Restorative over punitive. The school examples, from expulsion hearings to the undercover teams.
💎Maturing as a practitioner. Learn the scales, then play the jazz. Be yourself but not naively. Relax into the work and trust that something will turn up.
💎What people come for: Listening, skills of living, identity, restoring relationships.
💎Suffering and hope. Difficulty doesn't get to define you, and we can be present with each other in pain.
💎Sustainability and the arc of a career. Caseload, fees, portfolio work, and retiring into "play" (woodturning, singing, tramping, possibly priesthood).