Funfiltered Episode #072 - "Man Appreciation"Explicit
According to most, it's a new year. According to us, too. And, to a near 100% certainty, to you. So why qualify at all? Who knows why people do the things they do⸮ Live with mystery. Loll in the penumbra of conundra. Sniff the azaleas without scrutinising the chemistry of olfaction or whatever. 2024 promises global unrest, the continuing degradation of any and all sense-making apparatus and some more episodes of this podcast, released with no consistent schedule because why should we be the only people keeping promises in a civilisation rapidly spiralling into the abyss? That's not rhetorical. WHY? Ugh, I guess it is. I'm sorry, I've got the Vicks on my chest, the Olbas Oil hovering under my nostrils, the nicotine leaving my brain and I can't at the moment fathom why anyone bothers doing anything. The shame of the thing, it's not that the above paragraph is off the mark, it's just that I'd usually be mobile enough to want to lie about the whole business. But you don't need this, do you? For once, I hope you don't read. Just keep making those resolutions, scrolling and scrolling. Seriously. If you damn well can, stay happy. Bonne année and all that. It'll be fine, I'm sure. On this episode, Jordan and I review Leave the World Behind, The Killer, The Fall of the House of Usher, Killers of the Flower Moon and Five Nights at Freddy's. Goooooodbyyyyyyyye.
Funfiltered Episode #071 - "Pulses with Detachment"Explicit
Good mofterning, goofballs and goofaries! Welllll now, it really has been rather a while, hasn’t it? Has this been the longest “break”? Who knows?! If anyone IS keeping track, their identity is a mystery, cloaked as they are in the caligine of withheld praise, churning a bitter barrel of vitriol in the shared breast of his or her (let’s face it, his) content providers that will one day burst forth in savage expression as surely as the whole enterprise is a fanciful premise. I suspended a couple of quotation marks over “break” up there because I would be remiss if I suggested the hiatus had the character of leisure or pleasure. No, no, indeed, the last few months have been replete with bodily discord, self-recrimination, extra-recrimination, feeble fisticuffs and a wedding in Belgium. And while the lattermost item was an indelibly joyful experience that will forever define a certain time in our lives and the memories of which we will have until the grave… graves, that is, whatever this thing Jordan and I have, its terminus must surely be physical expiration… one should not neglect the first four items because it is from within them that we might derive compassion. And only the fourth thing is a lie. It weren’t feeble. We’re MEN. Nah, didn’t happen. We’re back, anyway. For now, at least, and not at most. We will do our best, whatever meagre form that takes, to advance the pace hereafter. But no other promise will be here made. You’ll get us when you get us and be ungrateful or oblivious for the paltry privilege. So what do we review on this episode? Don’t remember. No idea. Not a solitary clue. Waiting on Jordan to send me a screenshot of the video graphic. On this episode, it turns out, we review The Flash, Asteroid City, Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, Oppenheimer and Barbie. Yes yes, we’re late to the party, but aren’t you happy we showed up at all? Well, that’s rude. I’m out!
Funfiltered Episode #070 - "Egg MacGuffin"Explicit
Sometimes, one is in no mood to make sense; in fact, the inferred obligation makes one ornery. This is one of those times. The drench of zest curdles evilly with a forthcoming mantis that defies strict adhesion, precipitating in its wake a tropical malaise whereby underlings systematically tackle totems in the hollow dispensation of minerals. Reluctantly, the meat-eaters vow frailty and condemn their condominiums to infernal heck. That's right, nightjars. Under the auspices of our newly coronated crimson, we balk, balk, BALK at the loophole vandals and the apartheid junkets - slaloming sans context unfurls a rubric whose majesty is sequential. Restrain your bridal curios and dopey pirouettes! Lest you flummox, you quiver in a monster's chagrin... An unhappy monster, indeed, devastated by quotients and insipid whirligigs. So clutch your damned sugar! DOWN with the freckles and foibles! When the donkey darlings gallop once more under painted rain, we will fiddle the light berserk in the nuclear Bethel. Overture. On this here episode, Jordan and I discuss The Full Monty sequel series, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, Mrs. Davis, Transformers: Rise of the Beasts and the fourth and final season of Succession. Over.
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts Review (Funfiltered)Explicit
Cooked Breakfast Breakdown (Funfiltered)Explicit
Extract from Episode 4 of the Funfiltered podcast. Full of beans, a huffy wad of gammon and an abidingly irascible egg (with a toasty slice of Eddie on the side) spar availlessly over the echelons of a full English upon a foundational non-consensus re: which echelons. You say tomato, I say tom-ah-to…