The Full of Beans Podcast

by Hannah Hickinbotham

Season 2

A Mother’s Story of Navigating ARFID, Choking Fears and PEG Feeding with Michelle Jacques

In this week's episode, Han is joined by Michelle Jacques. Michelle is a devoted mum of two who has lived with ARFID since her son started weaning. Through her own experience of supporting her son with ARFID, she has become a passionate advocate, working tirelessly to raise awareness and support others navigating life with this complex food intake disorder. She is the founder of @arfid_life_uk, where she raises awareness of ARFID by sharing her family's experience. This episode holds space for the grief, the guilt, the fight, and also the hope, including the unexpected shift Michelle has seen as her son’s body becomes nourished again. This week, we discuss: What ARFID can look like and how it can go beyond “picky eating.” How sensory differences, autistic eating, and ARFID can overlap How illness can trigger choking fears and a trauma response that reinforces food avoidance What it’s like when a child’s intake drops to just a couple of “safe” items What a PEG (gastrostomy tube) is and how PEG feeding can support ARFID The emotional impact of PEG decisions for parents, including grief andguilt Why nutrition can change anxiety, rigidity, and capacity The role of advocacy in ARFID awareness How to document ARFID symptoms to report to a doctor Timestamps: 03:10 Sensory differences, autism, and how ARFID developed over time 07:40 Illness, choking fears, and how trauma can collapse food intake 09:15 Hospitalisation: constipation and appendix surgery 18:30 What a PEG is (and what people often misunderstand about it) 29:40 How PEG feeding can support ARFID 41:30 Guilt, grief, and learning to let the feelings exist 45:10 ARFID Advocacy work Resources & Links Follow @arfid_life_uk on Instagram Listen to the 3Mums1Mission ARFID Podcast Connect with Us: Subscribe to the Full of Beans Podcast Follow Full of Beans on Instagram Check out our website Listen on YouTube ⚠️ Trigger Warning: Mentions of eating disorders, ARFID, NG tube feeding. Please take care when listening. If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share the podcast to help us spread awareness. Sending positive beans your way, Han 💛

S2 · E254

Jan 26, 2026

55:02

Voices of Experience in Eating Disorders with Kel O'Neill

Kel O’Neill is a UK-based counsellor, educator, researcher, and lived-experience advocate specialising in eating disorders. She is the founder of Mental Health Bites, creator of The Eating Disorder Recovery Companion, and the curator of VOXED – Voices of Experience in Eating Disorders. Kel’s work focuses on ethical, trauma-informed practice, challenging stigma, and bridging the gap between lived experience and professional knowledge. This week, we discuss: What VoxED is and why Kel created it. Why eating disorder education often feels inaccessible, and what VoxED is doing differently. How VoxED broadens “lived experience” to include clinicians, carers, researchers and community voices. Why lived experience shouldn’t be tokenistic, and how it can be valued as expertise. Why the eating disorder field needs shared spaces for nuanced, difficult conversations. How recovery goes beyond food and weight to identity, meaning and living. Timestamps: 00:00: What is VoxED? 02:10 :Where did the idea began (EDAW 2021) 05:10: Who's speaking at VoXED 06:40: Moving beyond “tick-box” lived experience 08:10: The purpose of VoxED: shared space + shared power 14:40: Why change has been slow in eating disorders (and what’s missing) 21:10: Recovery beyond food and weight: identity, meaning, and living 42:10: VoxED details: date, access, recordings, and low-cost tickets VoxED conference details: Date: Friday 13th February Format: Fully online (9:00–18:30, with breaks) Tickets: self-select pricing options £20 / £37 / £50 Resources & Links Follow Kel on Instagram (@kel_mhb) Visit Kel's website (www.counsellingandtraining.co.uk) to find out more about VOXED Subscribe to the Full of Beans Podcast Follow Full of Beans on Instagram Check out our website Listen on YouTube If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share the podcast to help us spread awareness. Sending positive beans your way, Han 💛

S2 · E253

Jan 19, 2026

46:55

Season 1

No Longer Legally Detained: From Inpatient Care to Activism, Empowerment and Art with Hannah Whitfield

Have you ever been in and out of hospital so many times that everyone around you quietly stopped believing you'd ever get better, so you started to believe it too? This episode is for you." This week on the Full of Beans Podcast, I'm joined by Hannah Whitfield, a creative activist, writer, speaker, performer and founder of Legally Detained - a lived-experience-led creative platform transforming survival into power through art, activism and unapologetic storytelling. Her work explores neurodivergence, trauma, mental health systems, eating disorder recovery, inclusion and the power of creative expression. Through speaking, writing, performance, consultancy and her podcast No Longer Legally Detained, Hannah challenges systems that ask people to become smaller to survive, and instead creates work that says: we were never broken - we were surviving worlds that were never built with us in mind. In this episode, we explore: Where Legally Detained came from Hannah's experience of psychiatric admissions Being placed on a ward that didn't believe her eating disorder was "real" Becoming a "revolving door patient" across CAMHS, adult services, and secure care The problem with BMI criteria as a gatekeeper for treatment Where restrictive practice crosses the line from safety into cruelty The rock-bottom moment that changed everything How an ADHD diagnosis helped Hannah understand her own patterns for the first time Reframing recovery: it's not a "utopia," it's learning to ride the wave Why purpose and belonging, not just words, are what help people recover Connect with Us: Subscribe to the Full of Beans Podcast Follow Full of Beans on Instagram Check out our website Listen on YouTube Connect with Hannah via Instagram @legallydetained, her website, blog, or podcast: No Longer Legally Detained. ⚠️ Content Note: This episode contains discussions of eating disorder treatment, inpatient care, and iatrogenic harm. Please take care of yourself while listening.

S1 · E279

Jul 20, 2026

55:53

When the System Wasn't Built for You: Trans Identity, Neurodivergence and Eating Disorders with Eva Echo

Have you ever walked into a healthcare setting and felt like one part of your identity was being used to explain away everything else? This one is for you. Eva Echo (she/they) is a distinguished activist, writer, and TEDx speaker, focusing on transgender+ rights, intersectionality, and eating disorders. After hearing Eva speak at the Dump the Scales march, I basically ran after her to get her on the podcast, and I am so glad I did. Eva has spent years fighting for trans+ people in healthcare, including taking NHS England to the High Court over unlawful waiting times, and many other incredible projects. She also has her own lived experience of an eating disorder, autism, and ADHD, and this conversation weaves all of that together in a way I haven't heard anywhere else. In this episode, we explore: Eva's experience of restrictive eating and how it developed alongside her identity as a trans woman How autism and ADHD intersect with her eating disorder The moment a GP told Eva she couldn't have an eating disorder and it's lasting impact Eva's experience of Trans broken arm syndrome What medical gatekeeping looks like across eating disorders, gender identity, and neurodivergence, Eva's legal challenge against NHS England and the landmark ruling that came from it Why the NHS can feel like a conveyor belt instead of individualised care Eva's path analogy in relation to eating disorder recovery Eva's message to anyone who has never felt truly seen or heard Eva's message is simple, and I think it is everything: be your own kind of beautiful. Connect with Us: Subscribe to the Full of Beans Podcast Follow Full of Beans on Instagram Check out our website Listen on YouTube Connect with Eva via Instagram (@evaech0) ⚠️ Content Note: This episode contains discussions of eating disorders, medical gatekeeping, gender identity, neurodivergence, and experiences of suicidal ideation. Please take care of yourself while listening. Photo credit: Lunar Sea.

S1 · E278

Jul 12, 2026

46:29

Holding Two Truths: When Eating Disorder Care Both Helps and Harms with Dr Tanya Frances

Have you ever sat in a treatment room and felt like the real you was completely invisible, like the system was so focused on your weight, your behaviours, your diagnosis, that it forgot there was a whole person underneath? This episode is for you. This week on the Full of Beans Podcast, I'm joined by Tanya Francis, a research psychologist, lecturer at the Open University, and psychotherapist in private practice, who also brings her own lived experience of an eating disorder to this conversation. Tanya's background is in domestic violence research and gender-based violence, and the more she looked at how systems respond when someone is harmed, the more she saw uncomfortable parallels with eating disorder care. In this episode, we explore: What iatrogenic harm means and why care systems can sometimes cause harm The role of BMI and weight in treatment, How rigid care centralising numbers can reinforce eating disorder logic How weight stigma in healthcare shuts people out before they've even begun The culture of mistrust around eating disorders and the damage it does Why people pleasing in treatment can look like recovery but lead straight back to relapse Moral injury and what happens when clinicians can't act on their own values Tanya's own experience of not being believed in her body during inpatient care Why truly humanising care is both simpler and more complex than it sounds How two things can be true at once, e.g. a broken system and incredible people working within it Connect with Us: Subscribe to the Full of Beans Podcast Follow Full of Beans on Instagram Check out our website Listen on YouTube Connect with Tanya via Instagram (@drtanyafrances), LinkedIn or her website ⚠️ Content Note: This episode contains discussions of eating disorder treatment, inpatient care, and iatrogenic harm. Please take care of yourself while listening.

S1 · E277

Jul 6, 2026

46:29

People Pleasing and Finding Commitment in Eating Disorder Recovery with Sarah Parker

Have you ever found yourself trying to balance the needs of your eating disorder, your treatment team, your family, and somewhere in the middle of all of that, completely losing sight of yourself? This episode is for you. This week on the Full of Beans Podcast, I'm joined by Sarah Parker, a psychotherapist based in West Yorkshire, who brings both professional expertise in eating disorder therapy and her own lived experience of fifteen years of anorexia. Sarah knows firsthand how people pleasing can keep you stuck in recovery, doing all the right things, saying all the right things, but doing it for everyone else rather than for yourself. That can be motivating to start with, but after time, motivation can fade and a true commitment to recovery is required. In this episode, we explore: Sarah's own experience of anorexia and what kept her stuck for so long Sarah's experience of detainment, tube feeding, and how collaboration changed this How people pleasing shaped Sarah's experience of treatment Why bringing out the rebel can be more supportive than praising compliance in recovery The difference between motivation and commitment in eating disorder recovery Why commitment helps long-term recovery more than motivation How to keep going on the days when every part of you is telling you not to Why anger can actually be a sign that recovery is working The role of compassion in recovery Connect with Us: Subscribe to the Full of Beans Podcast Follow Full of Beans on Instagram Check out our website Listen on YouTube Connect with Sarah via her website or on Instagram (@wellofbeing13) ⚠️ Content Note: This episode includes discussion of eating disorders, anorexia, detainment and tube feeding. Please take care while listening.

S1 · E276

Jun 29, 2026

40:28

Challenging What We Know About OSFED and UFED with Dr Ruth Cruickshank

Explicit

Have you ever felt like your eating disorder didn't have a name, or that what you were going through just didn't quite fit? This episode is for you. This week on the Full of Beans Podcast, I'm joined by Dr Ruth Cruickshank, Associate Professor at Royal Holloway, University of London. Ruth has a background in French literature, but has carved out a truly unique space in eating disorder research, using her expertise in critical reading, food studies and her own lived experience of OSFED to ask the questions that others simply aren't asking. Ruth is the only academic in the humanities working on OSFED, and she is doing extraordinary work to challenge why the most common eating disorder diagnosis remains so systemically overlooked. In this episode, we explore: How Ruth's career took her from French literature and advertising to eating disorder research How representations of food in fiction carry deeper psychological and cultural meanings What OSFED is and why it matters that so many people have never heard of it Why OSFED and UFED remain under-researched despite being the most common eating disorder diagnoses The danger of diagnostic criteria focused on weight and behaviour rather than distress and daily impact Why not having a name for your experience can be so isolating and why that validation matters The "not sick enough" narrative and how diagnostic language can keep people stuck Whether a truly person-centred approach to eating disorder treatment could change everything What Ruth wants anyone to know if they've never been able to name their experience Connect with Us: Subscribe to the Full of Beans Podcast Follow Full of Beans on Instagram Check out our website Listen on YouTube Connect with Ruth via her Research Profile Read Ruth's research:Challenging the enduring epistemic injustice of eating disorders: Critically re-reading Occupation food insecurity in the Trente Glorieuses with Elsa Triolet and the 1944–1945 ‘Minnesota Starvation Experiment’ Not knowing and the problematics of naming eating disorders: OSFED/EDNOS/TCA-NS and Annie Ernaux’s Mémoire de fille [A Girl’s Story] ⚠️ Content Note: This episode includes discussion of OSFED, anorexia, bulimia, and the difficulty of language in eating disorder treatment. Please take care while listening.

S1 · E275

Jun 22, 2026

43:19

Eating Disorders, Relationships and Finding Your Way Back to Each Other with Charlotte Jefferson

When an eating disorder enters a relationship, it doesn’t just affect one person; it changes the space between you. This episode explores how. In this week’s episode of Full of Beans, I’m joined by Charlotte Jefferson, psychotherapist and founder of CRJ Therapy, to explore how eating disorders impact relationships, communication, intimacy, and trust. In this conversation, Charlotte brings a relational lens to eating disorders, something that can quietly shape connection, closeness, and the way we show up with one another. We explore what happens when fear takes over in relationships, how communication can begin to break down, and why connection can feel so hard to hold onto during recovery. Because eating disorders don’t just affect the individual, they affect the relationship, too. In this episode, we discuss: How eating disorders impact romantic relationships, families, and friendships Why food is deeply tied to connection, culture, and social life The role of fear, silence, and “getting it wrong” in relationships How partners and parents can slip into caring roles Why communication can break down during eating disorder recovery The impact on intimacy, closeness, and trust The importance of curiosity and honesty in difficult conversations Why wider support networks matter when supporting someone with an eating disorder What relationship disconnection can look like Gentle ways to begin rebuilding connection and trust Connect with Us: Subscribe to the Full of Beans Podcast Follow Full of Beans on Instagram Check out our website Listen on YouTube Connect with Charlotte via CRJ Therapy or on Instagram (@crjtherapy) ⚠️ Content Note: This episode includes discussion of eating disorders, relationship challenges, and emotional distress. Please take care while listening.

S1 · E274

Jun 15, 2026

38:42

Finding Your Way Through Social Media, Fitness Culture and Plant-Based Eating in Recovery with Sophie Macfie

Have you ever found yourself struggling to navigate social media in recovery, comparing, doom scrolling, and falling into patterns you thought you'd left behind? This episode is for you. This week on the Full of Beans Podcast, I'm joined by Sophie Macfie, founder of Soph's Plant Kitchen, cookbook author, and personal trainer, who shares her own experience of disordered eating and how she's built a life that genuinely nourishes her in every sense of the word. We also talk about the complicated relationship between wellness culture, the fitness industry, and recovery, and why it can be so hard to tell the difference between what's helping and what isn't. In this episode, we explore: Sophie's own experience of disordered eating and what helped her turn a corner Why social media can feel so triggering in eating disorder recovery How plant-based eating can be a genuine expression of values, and when it isn't The fitness industry, body ideals and why aesthetics can be a trap The "strong not skinny" movement, where it lands and where it falls short Why what you're drawn to on social media can signal where you are in your recovery Responsibility for harmful content online: the person posting or the person scrolling? Why defining yourself by one thing, however healthy it looks, can keep you stuck The importance of rest and slowing down in eating disorder recovery Please note that everyone's recovery journey is completely individual. The topics we discuss in this episode may not be appropriate for everyone and should always be explored as part of your own personalised recovery journey, ideally alongside your treatment team. We are all at different stages, and that is something to be honoured, not rushed. Connect with Us: Subscribe to the Full of Beans Podcast Follow Full of Beans on Instagram Check out our website Listen on YouTube Connect with Sophie via Instagram (@sophsplantkitchen) and order Soph's book, 30 in 30, here! ⚠️ Content Note: This episode includes discussion of eating disorders, plant-based eating and exercise. Please take care while listening.

S1 · E273

Jun 8, 2026

50:28

Hope, Belief, Freedom and Forever After 40 years of Anorexia with Andrea Stroud

Have you ever thought you've spent too long ill with an eating disorder, that there's just no way you can recover from an eating disorder? If that's you, this episode is for you. This week on the Full of Beans Podcast, I'm joined by Andrea Stroud, mum to Joshua, Jacob and Tommy who has lived with anorexia, in secret, for over 40 years. Andrea hopes that by sharing her story and the reality of living with an eating disorder and its impact on family life, she can give others hope that it’s never too late to recover. We also talk about years of missed red flags from medical professionals, the moment Andrea said "I am actually quite unwell," and what has made eating disorder recovery feel different this time around. In this episode, we explore: How growing up in a weight-focused family left Andrea feeling different from everyone around her How gymnastics, dance and athletics brought an early focus on appearance and comparison The missed red flags across years of medical appointments, from gynaecology to gastroenterology How dismissal by healthcare professionals reinforced the belief of not being sick enough The study day that finally gave Andrea permission to say she was actually quite unwell How Andrea opened up to her son Josh after 40 years of silent struggles Going back into treatment, and why this time felt different Why rigid meal plans can work against the very thing eating disorder recovery needs What mental hunger is and how it can be misunderstood in treatment Opposite actions as a practical tool for challenging eating disorder thoughts Why food is about more than fuel, it is connection, presence and belonging Why Andrea's word for long-term anorexia recovery is connection Connect with Us: Subscribe to the Full of Beans Podcast Follow Full of Beans on Instagram Check out our website Listen on YouTube Connect with Andrea on Instagram (@andreainrecovery), as well as her son Joshua (@joshuahillsnutrition) ⚠️ Content Note: This episode includes discussion of eating disorders, anorexia and disordered eating. Please look after yourself as you listen. If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share to help us spread awareness. Sending positive beans your way, Han 💛

S1 · E272

Jun 1, 2026

1:00:28

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