Filmjitsu! The Podcast that wields films as deadly weapons | Podcast on RSS.com

Filmjitsu! The Podcast that wields films as deadly weapons

Filmjitsu! The Podcast that wields films as deadly weapons

by Jason Santo and Michael Merrigan

Film History Film Reviews

Season 1

Episode 77: Music of the Heart and Bottom Five Musicians

It's time once again for Filmjitsu's most inexplicable annual tradition: The Streepening. For reasons that have long since been lost to history (and likely were never sensible to begin with), Jay again hands Mike a Meryl Streep movie proving that no matter how acclaimed the actress may be, there always seems to be another questionable stop on her journey to becoming a generational talent. This year's selection? Wes Craven's Music of the Heart.Yes, that Wes Craven. The mastermind behind A Nightmare on Elm Street and Scream traded slashers for string sections in this fact-based drama about a determined violin teacher trying to save a music program in East Harlem. Was this an unexpected hidden gem from one of horror's greatest directors, or merely a detour better left unexplored? Mike tunes his instrument and finds out. After the review, the guys count down their Bottom Five Musicians, celebrating those cinematic performances that hit every wrong note for reasons ranging from questionable casting to spectacularly misguided vanity projects. Then it's onto another round of Dueling Double Bills, where cinematic connections fly faster than violin bows, before Jay closes out the show by revealing Mike's next assignment.Will The Streepening ever end? History suggests that on the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons... probably not.

Episode 76: Hot Dog... The Movie and Bottom Five Clichés

As it's the middle of summer, Mike, in his infinite wisdom, assigned Jay yet another winter-themed movie! Following his Hot Frosty antics, he uncorked Hot Dog... The Movie, a 1984 skis-and-skin "comedy" about a ragtag group of elite U.S. freestyle skiers going up against uptight Germans in some kind of world-class competition that apparently attracts the horniest people alive. Why Mike is obsessed with "hot" movies set in cold climates is beyond anyone's understanding, but the damage has been done, and Jay wades through snow boots and boobs to reveal whether he found this movie cool enough to turn off the AC this summer or if it just made the humidity that much more unbearable. After his review, the guys dig into their Bottom Five Clichés, unearthing a treasure trove of tropes so annoying they'd prefer never to see them in another movie while knowing full well they'll encounter them again the next time they hit play. Following that, they play another exciting round of cinematic mash-ups with Dueling Double Bills before Jay reveals what's in store for Mike on the next episode. Spoiler alert: it won't be another slice of cold cinema. As far as Jay is concerned, summer is the perfect time to serve up some scorching cinematic payback on Filmjitsu, the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons.

Episode 75: Masters of the Universe and Bottom Five Tough Guys

The fireworks may be over and the grill has gone cold, but Filmjitsu is still celebrating! This week, Jay and Mike recount their trip to the theater for the long-awaited return of Masters of the Universe. After a first trailer that inspired more dread than excitement, could a reported $200 million blockbuster based on an '80s toy line really succeed where the 1987 Dolph Lundgren adaptation stumbled and sent the franchise into cinematic hibernation for nearly four decades? The guys are joined by a special guest as THEY HAVE THE POWER during their full review. Then it's time for Bottom Five Tough Guys, celebrating cinema's most overrated hard cases: characters who puff out their chests, talk a big game, and somehow still leave you wondering if anyone was ever actually intimidated. From beloved classics to a few less-than-beloved oddities, the countdown might permanently alter how you see some familiar faces. After that, Jay and Mike step into the arena for another round of Dueling Double Bills, pairing films in unexpected ways before Mike reveals the next movie assignment destined to test Jay's cinematic endurance.So grab some leftovers, shake off that freedom-loving holiday hangover, and spend the last hour of your long weekend with Filmjitsu, the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons.

Episode 74: The Tree of Life and Bottom Five Creations

Since this episode lands on Father's Day, Jay decides to do something thematic for a change and assigns Mike one of the most acclaimed and divisive films of the 21st century: Terrence Malick's The Tree of Life. Is the film a profound meditation on fathers and sons, memory, grief, faith, and the very nature of existence? Or is it an overlong exercise in whispered narration, floating cameras, and cosmic self-importance? The guys tackle that question head-on and, perhaps unsurprisingly given the film's subject matter, find themselves wandering into some unexpectedly personal territory along the way. After the review, the guys count down their Bottom Five Creations, a collection of inventions, monsters, products, and catastrophically misguided acts of ingenuity that probably should have remained on the drawing board. Then it's time once again for Dueling Double Bills, where Mike and Jay attempt to pair randomly selected films into seat-filling double features and, as usual, discover that agreement is far less likely than argument. Finally, in a move that may qualify as self-harm under certain legal definitions, Mike and Jay announce an upcoming trip to the movie theater, where they'll willingly exchange approximately two mortgage payments for tickets, popcorn, and whatever fresh cinematic Hell awaits them on the big screen.

Episode 73: Hot Frosty and Bottom Five Hotties

On this episode of Filmjitsu, Mike decides he'd like to "extend winter" a little longer by assigning Jay the Netflix holiday rom-com Hot Frosty. A calculated attempt to exploit Jay's well-documented affection for romantic comedies, this weird take on Frosty the Snowman stars Hallmark Channel royalty Lacey Chabert and a magically animated snowman blessed with abs that could cut glass. Is it a surprisingly heartfelt holiday romance, or just another disposable entry in the ever-expanding streaming content machine? The guys dig in during the main review and then afterward, Mike and Jay count down their Bottom Five Hotties, a collection of movie characters whose scorching appeal can't compensate for their terrible behavior or general awfulness. Then it's time once again for Dueling Double Bills, where the guys attempt to build the perfect companion features for wildly different movies and, as usual, wander into unexpected territory along the way. Finally, the eternal cycle of cinematic revenge continues when the next assignment is revealed. So crank up your air conditioning, grab a mug of hot cocoa and join the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons as they contend with more icy-hotness than Mike's used on his forever-ailing back.

Episode 72: Bolero (1984) and Bottom Five Sleazy "Art" Films

This week on Filmjitsu, Mike is subjected to Bolero, the infamous 1984 erotic drama directed by John Derek and starring his wife, Bo Derek, in what may be the most lavishly photographed vanity project ever unleashed upon unsuspecting audiences.Was this a genuinely misguided attempt at prestige filmmaking, or simply expensive late-night cable fodder pretending to be profound? Mike and Jay attempt to separate the silk scarves from the sleaze during the main review. Afterward, inspired by one of cinema’s purest examples of exploitation masquerading as art, the guys count down their Bottom Five Sleazy Art Films. From self-important erotic dramas to beautifully-shot cinematic skin flicks desperate for legitimacy, these are the movies that mistake tasteful lighting and international locations for substance. Then it’s time once again for Dueling Double Bills, where Mike and Jay take tangentially related movies and create competing double features either fit for the art house or destined for the video store back room. Finally, the cycle of cinematic vengeance continues when Mike reveals what fresh madness Jay will be forced to endure on the next episode.

Episode 71: The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot and Bottom Five Microgenres

On this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, the guys return from a brief hiatus to tackle one of the strangest high-concept movies of the last decade: The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot. Starring the eternally weathered and deeply mustachioed Sam Elliott, the film answers its wacky title with meditations on aging, government conspiracies, and wartime trauma. Fun! Can a man with a voice aged in bourbon barrels—and enough quiet manliness to make the Marlboro Man—look like a ballerina hold together a movie this ambitiously bizarre? Jay and Mike offer their thoughts, then count down their Bottom Five Microgenres: those hyper-specific cinematic niches that severely test the patience of the co-hosts. Along the way, a few beloved films catch stray bullets, including Ray, Black Beauty, and Freaky Friday. Then it’s time for an unexpectedly combative round of Dueling Double Bills before Jay once again reveals what fresh cinematic suffering Mike will endure on the next episode.

Episode 70: Volcano and Bottom Five Misnamed Movies

On this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Mike is sent straight into the molten chaos of Volcano (1997), the disaster of a disaster movie starring Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, and what appears to be a Hell of a lot of molten Velveeta flowing through the streets of Los Angeles. Directed by Mick Jackson, this late-’90s spectacle swaps out an actual volcano for an endless surge of lava, asking audiences to accept city management and seismology as a substitute for action. After Mike’s review, the guys count down their Bottom Five Misnamed Movies, picks that highlight some seriously misleading marketing with titles that just plain don’t match the movie they’re attached to. Then it’s time for Dueling Double Bills, as the guys square off with another pair of loosely connected double features before Mike closes things out by assigning Jay his next cinematic punishment, because on Filmjitsu the cycle of suffering never truly cools.

Episode 69: Roar and Bottom Five Cats

On this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Jay is forced to endure Roar (1981), the infamous “no animals were harmed” production where, somehow, nearly every human involved absolutely was. Starring Tippi Hedren and directed by Noel Marshall, this real-life experiment in living alongside big cats quickly becomes a chaotic showcase of exactly why that should never be attempted on film or otherwise. After the main review and a heartfelt and unexpected eulogy for a long-passed dear friend, the guys count down their Bottom Five Cats. From domestic nuisances to full-on man-eating nightmares, these are cinema’s least effective, most frustrating, and downright dangerous felines. Then, the show welcomes back Dueling Double Bills, as Mike and Jay once again square off with a pair of loosely connected double features and argue over whose picks actually make sense. Finally, because vengeance is a dish best served immediately, Jay closes the loop by assigning Mike his next punishment, proving once again that on Filmjitsu, the cycle of cinematic suffering never truly ends.

Episode 68: Dueling Double Bills Payback - Tammy and the T-Rex, Howard the Duck & Alien From L.A.

Justice arrives on this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons. Mike and Jay finally tallied the listener poll results for 2025's Dueling Double Bills series, and because the guys tied during last year’s competition, they were saddled with an appropriately cursed outcome. Jay must face the chaotic animatronic pairing of Tammy and the T-Rex and Howard the Duck, while Mike somehow ends up with Tammy and the T-Rex as well, but this time the Denise Richards–starring B-movie is teamed with the subterranean oddity Alien from L.A., starring Kathy Ireland. That’s right: three movies! One with a crying dinosaur, another with the most irritating voice ever committed to film, and a shocking bit of film-history trivia involving the unlikely origins of Pixar. Along the way, one of your hosts may genuinely begin to lose his sanity and threaten to quit the show. After the reviews, the guys launch into a rapid-fire Bottom Fives lightning round, with each list tailored to the themes of their respective double bills. And finally, because the wheel of cinematic suffering must always keep turning, Mike assigns Jay the next punishment in this never-ending cycle of movie mayhem.

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