Matt thinks everything can be boiled down to ABC. Acknowledge. Build. Counter. It fits the bill for the argument about household chores. It fits the bill for the difficult conversation about whether to send the kids to private school. It fits the bill for a lovely, positive conversation about holiday destinations.

Graham is more sceptical. Can such a simple, slightly artificial formula genuinely offer a model for pretty much every conversation between two grown adults? As you'll hear, by the end of the episode, he's come around to everything being as easy as ABC.

We also discussed two other formulas in the episode. The Gottmans' X, Y, Z model and Marc Brackett's  ...