Can We Add Arnie?
by Noise Pilot
Like it or not, Die Hard is a Christmas movie, and for a very special prezzie this year, we've added Arnie, just to spoil Hans Grubers' night. Merry Christmas everyone!
This cult favourite is a Christmas must-watch when December comes around, and if anyone knows a thing or two about Christmas movies, it's Arnie! So, relax by the Christmas tree, have some pud and enjoy our Christmas Special.
This 1980s western thriller follows the story of a man on the run from an unstoppable, badass killing machine... Oh c'mon, it's begging for Arnie in that role! It's basically the Terminator with 10 gallon hats and a few Mexicans. Enough talk, shove Arnie in there already!
There are good movies, there are bad movies, and then there is Snakes on a Plane. Despite its clear lack of a coherent plot and good acting, there is one redeemable quality: Samuel L. Jackson. Having him share the screen with Arnold Schwarzenegger is a dream come true.
The one word that people don't often associate with Arnie is 'Range'. But musically, we believe there is untapped potential in our 80s hero. That's why we've added him to this mid-noughties romcom alongside Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore.
It's incredibly hard to separate the eighties from the Ghostbusters gang, but it's even harder to seperate Allan and Corey from their insatiable desire to try and improve this movie by adding the great Arnold Shwarzenegger to the cast!
The horror movie industry was never the same when Saw entered pop culture. This splatter-fest of violent traps orchestrated by the Jigsaw killer is missing one piece though: Arnie!
The world was not ready when Shrek hit the big screen. Who was this green Scottish Ogre? And why did they want his swamp? We eventually found out and fell in love with the character and his Donkey, but is there room for Arnie?
The author of The Shining, Stephen King, claimed the movie sucked despite being directed by Stanley Kubrick and starring Jack Nicholson. We can't help but think King would have loved the film if it starred one of the shiniest body builders to ever be covered in baby oil, Arnold Schwarzenegger!
How can you make a movie about muscly, sweaty men fighting to death and not cast Arnold Schwarzenegger? Shame on you Ridley Scott! Don't worry, we've kicked Russell Crowe to the curb and put Arnie where he belongs: the Colosseum!