Discussion Series | Rooted | 9. What Do We Do When a Brother or Sister Won't Repent?

Episode Summary : What do you do when someone in the church is clearly living in unrepentant sin? Today Pastor Steve and Pastor Grant walk us through what Scripture says about confronting a sinning brother or sister, the Matthew 18 process, and how to tell the difference between a believer who is struggling and one who has simply settled.

Key Topics Covered

• Why we can't look the other way when a fellow believer is in sin
• The Matthew 18 process — step by step
• The difference between struggling with sin and being unrepentant
• How to confront well — and what restoration looks like

Key Scriptures

• Matthew 7:1–5 — judge not, in context
• Matthew 18:15–17 — the process Jesus gave us
• Galatians 6:1–2 — restore gently, watch yourself
• 2 Timothy 2:24–25 — patient and gentle instruction
• 1 John 1:8–9 — confession and forgiveness
• 2 Corinthians 2:6–8 — restoration after repentance

Key Takeaways

• Staying silent about someone's sin is not grace — it’s avoidance.
• Matthew 7:1 doesn’t mean never confront sin. It means check yourself first.
• The Matthew 18 process has one goal at every stage — restoration.
• The difference between struggling and unrepentant is not the presence of sin — it’s the posture of the heart toward it.
• You cannot force repentance — but you can create the conditions for it.
• The church that disciplines well also restores well.

The Matthew 18 Process

1. Go privately — Matthew 18:15
2. Bring one or two witnesses — Matthew 18:16
3. Bring it to the church — Matthew 18:17
4. The hard step — treat them as outside the fellowship — Matthew 18:17b

The goal at every stage is restoration.

Reflection Questions

• Have you ever stayed silent about someone's sin and called it minding your own business?
• What's the difference between judging someone and lovingly confronting them?
• Is the person you're thinking about struggling toward repentance — or settled into their sin?

Enjoyed this episode? Share it with someone who's been trying to figure out how to love a friend through a hard season of unrepentant sin.

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