Trump appeared to sleep through most of the Pentagon's 9/11 ceremony this week, only opening his eyes when the memorial bell rang — either impressive muscle memory or a very expensive Pavlovian response. Meanwhile, Melania gave a passionate speech on preserving historic architecture at almost exactly the same time construction continued on the site of the demolished East Wing, Trump accidentally revealed in Ireland that his wife wasn't actually with him, and Erika Kirk briefly appeared to have received a facial-expression update before reverting to her previous operating system. And in Australia, the Prime Minister is facing backlash for the devastating crime of accepting a free seat upgrade.

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