We Asked a Ghost for Life Advice (We Regret It)

In the debut episode of Birota Est Moenia, Velo, Ima, and Youls attempt the impossible: interviewing a ghost for life advice. Things spiral into regret almost instantly. What begins as a dumb question about the afterlife ends with existential dread, cold pizza trauma, and three oval-shaped idiots questioning why they exist at all.

Segments this episode include:

• Main Topic: The trio summons a ghost and ask him about life’s big questions. Spoiler: the answer is “leftovers.”
• Breaking News: Newsman Andrew Porter reports on clouds suing humanity for defamation.
• Quiz Time: The trio hosts Guess That Corpse Age! (this was definitely a mistake).
• Order!: A courtroom case where someone sues for “emotional damage” caused by ghost trauma. Justice is not served.

Key Moments:

• Velo burns his tongue on a servo sausage roll.
• Ima admits to eating two Doritos as “breakfast.”
• Youls feeds a stray dog that promptly bites him.
• The ghost flips them off before disappearing forever.
• Court rules that “life itself is emotional damage.”
• Closing line: “Episode is over. Leave.”

Vibe Check:

• Absurdist dark comedy
• Nihilistic but silly
• Feels like a podcast, but it isn’t
• Made to confuse you on purpose

Disclaimer: Do not use this episode as actual life advice. Or any advice. Especially not from ghosts.