Better Sports Parents

by Scott Rintoul

Season 1

Jesse Marsch: Over-Emphasis on Winning, Community Through Culture & Passion in Youth Sports

Courtesy of Mas+ by Messi, Jesse Marsch, coach of Canada's National Men's Soccer Team, joins Better Sports Parents to share lessons from his playing career in MLS, managing in Europe, and raising three children across multiple countries and cultures. From playing for the US National Team to coaching the New York Red Bulls and leading clubs in Germany, Austria, and England, Jesse has seen youth sports development from every angle. Now as a father of three grown children who played sports around the world, he offers unique insights into what actually matters in youth athletics. Jesse Marsch doesn't give parenting advice: he gives coaching insights rooted in decades of professional experience and the lessons learned from watching his own three children navigate sports across the globe. This is an episode for every parent wondering whether they're doing it right, every coach trying to create the right environment, and every young athlete who just wants to love the game.Key Topics Discussed: How sports became the bridge for his kids to adapt to new cultures The Biggest Problem in Youth Sports Creating Space for Free Play Why the best players in the world grew up playing on the streets, not in structured environments The Pay-to-Play Reality Coaching Your Own Kids Body Language on the Sidelines Youth Development Creating Club Identity The Canadian National Team Values About Jesse Marsch: Current Head Coach, Canada Men's National Team Former Head Coach: New York Red Bulls, Leeds United, RB Leipzig, Red Bull Salzburg Former MLS player (14 years) and US National Team player Father of three who have played sports in 8+ countries Chapters: 00:00 Introduction 05:30 The Evolution of MLS Since Jesse's Playing Days 07:02 The Nomadic Coaching Lifestyle as a Parent 09:10 How Sports Created Community in Every Country 11:53 German HALA Tournaments: Pure Joy & Fun 16:14 The Importance of Free Play 20:20 Jesse's Evolution as a Sports Parent 23:46 Jesse's Parents: Hands-Off But Held Him Accountable 25:24 Teammates Who Shaped His Understanding of Leadership 27:43 The Selflessness of Great Teammates 30:00 Balancing Individual Drive with Team Selflessness 32:47 The New York Red Bulls Parent Transformation Story 36:45 Developing a Rapport with Parents 39:54 The Pay-to-Play Model: Reality and Concerns 44:16 What Should Parents Measure Success By? 49:53 How Parents Unintentionally Put Pressure on Kids 52:20 The Father Who Told His 8-Year-Old to "Shut Up" 55:32 Jesse's Personal Values & Canadian Culture Alignment 58:49 The Team's Character: 25 Games Without Playing Poorly 1:01:53 How to Evaluate a Volunteer Coach 1:05:04 What Makes a Healthy Sports Organization 1:09:22 Building the DNA of Canadian 1:11:24 The Biggest Issue in Youth Sports Today 1:13:49 Closing Thoughts Resources: https://canadasoccer.com/profile/?id=56831&teamId=2068

S1 · E17

Jan 6, 2026

1:15:22

Ross Gurney: Elite is a Dangerous Word, Warning Signs to Watch For & Finding Joy in Play

Sports agent and advisor Ross Gurney shares his unique perspective on youth sports from both sides - as a professional who's guided players through leagues like the NHL & CFL and as a father navigating the youth sports environment with his own two children. With clients like Duncan Keith, Devon Toews, and Zach Benson, Ross has seen what it actually takes to make it to the highest levels of sport. But his message might surprise you: it's not about early specialization, elite camps, or rushing up levels. Instead, Ross advocates for "overcooking"—playing level-appropriate hockey where kids get more reps and meaningful roles. In this conversation, Ross discusses: Why early specialization is concerning from both a professional and parental lens The dangerous overuse of the word "elite" in youth sports How good people can become "crazy sports parents" in one sport but not another What coaches actually want (hint: it's not always the stat-sheet leaders) Warning signs for parents when evaluating programs and organizations Why the biggest issue in youth sports today is access and facilities How to identify a child's unique "internal scorecard" beyond traditional statistics Ross also shares the powerful moment when his own son told him, "Dad, I don't think I want to be a hockey player"—and why that conversation was actually "really cool." Whether your child dreams of playing professionally or your focus is on wanting them to develop a lifelong love of sport, this episode offers invaluable wisdom on keeping joy, passion, and authentic play at the center of the youth sports experience. Chapters 00:00 Introduction 03:28 Breaking Into the Sports Agency Business 06:48 Growing Up With Unstructured Play in Kelowna 07:54 Parents' Hands-Off Approach to Youth Sports 11:02 What Ross Sees in Today's Youth Sports Landscape 12:13 Why Early Specialization Is Concerning 13:10 Recognizing Kids Who Lack Joy in Their Sport 14:12 How Good Parents Become "Crazy Sports Parents" 15:53 Navigating His Own Child's Hockey Journey 16:30 "I Don't Think I Want to Be a Hockey Player" 18:45 Dealing With the Pressure of the Family Business 19:26 What "Slow Down" Means for Youth Sports Parents 21:05 Most Common Questions Parents Ask Ross 23:15 "What Do We Need to Do to Get Seen?" 25:20 How Life Changes When Sports Becomes a Business 28:14 The Conflict of Talking to 14-Year-Olds About Pro Aspirations 30:14 Elite: A Dangerous Word in Youth Sports 33:43 The Business of Youth Sports & Skill Development 36:27 Passion and the Internal Scorecard 37:50 Finding Each Player's Contribution 41:40 What Sport Has Brought to His Children's Lives 43:18 What a Sports Agent Actually Is (At Their Best) 46:28 Satisfaction Beyond a Client Going Pro 49:50 The Philosophy of "Overcooking" 52:52 Warning Signs: When to Walk Away From a Family 54:56 What Coaches Actually Want vs. What Parents Think They Want 57:16 Warning Signs in Organizations for Parents 01:01:35 Lack of Recreational Pathways for Teenagers 01:04:35 The Biggest Issue in Youth Sports Today: Access

S1 · E16

Dec 23, 2025

1:07:28

Angus Reid: Don't Play the Shame Game, Choose Your Words Wisely & What Are You Normalizing?

Former CFL centre and Grey Cup champion Angus Reid discusses the troubling state of youth sports, the business model destroying accessibility, and what it really means to develop champions. Reid, now a high school football coach and author of "⁠Teenager: A Story About Finding Your Way⁠," shares why he refuses to charge kids for coaching, how parents unknowingly harm their children's development, and the critical difference between being demanding and demeaning. In this conversation, Reid reveals his approach to building resilience in teenagers, why he quit football in grade 8, and the coaching philosophy that keeps kids coming back. He challenges the year-round specialization model, advocates for multi-sport participation, and explains why the real goal isn't winning championships -- it's creating high-agency people who can handle life's challenges. KEY TOPICS: The privatization crisis in youth sports and its impact on accessibility Why Reid coaches for free and refuses to monetize youth development The difference between coaching to win vs. coaching to develop How to build real confidence (not false bravado) in teenagers The danger of waiting for external validation Why football shouldn't be played until high school Creating environments where bringing your best is normalized The power of asking kids what they want from sports 🔔 Subscribe to Better Sports Parents for more conversations about youth sports, parenting, and coaching #YouthSports #Coaching #Parenting #Football #AthleteDevelopment #teenagers #SportsParenting #HighSchoolSports #CFL Chapters 00:00 Introduction 04:18 The Current Youth Sports Landscape 04:42 The Business Model Problem in Youth Sports 06:20 Defining Success and Winning in Youth Sports 10:50 Why Angus Wrote "Teenager" 12:10 Becoming Somebody vs. Wanting Things 15:46 The Difficulty of Being a Teenager 16:15 Why Angus Advocates for Difficult Challenges 19:42 Finding the Courage to Join Football in Grade 11 23:41 Balancing Firm Coaching with Positive Support 25:10 Asking Kids What They Want from Sports 29:52 The Duty to Give Back - Why Angus Coaches for Free 31:28 Parental Investment and Healthy Sports Participation 35:35 Multi-Sport Benefits Beyond Physical Development 37:46 Learning from Angus's Parents 45:30 Post-Game Conversations with Kids 49:08 Was Football Ever Not Fun? 54:20 The Mission: Raising Better Youth 01:00:33 Why Football Despite Safety Concerns? 01:02:11 The Evolution from Contact to Collision Sport 01:06:33 How Parents Can Identify Good Coaches 01:09:46 The Unlimited Impact of Coaches 01:11:02 Making Kids Want to Be Coached Resources: https://angusreid.ca/book-teenager/

S1 · E15

Dec 16, 2025

1:14:59

Steve Kindel: The Triple Whammy of Youth Sports, Fears for Tiers & the Social Media Dilemma

Explicit

Former Canadian national team soccer player Steve Kindel shares invaluable insights on youth sports development through the lens of a player, a parent, and a coach. As Senior Technical Director for North Vancouver FC, father to NHL player Ben Kindel and Canada U17 soccer player Lacey, plus husband to former national team player Sara, Steve offers a unique perspective on balancing competition with healthy development. Among the issues Steve discusses in this episode: ✅ The benefits and drawbacks of early sport specialization ✅ How multi-sport participation develops better athletes ✅ Managing playing time conversations with parents ✅ When and how to implement age-appropriate tiering ✅ The decision to let Ben leave home at 16 for major junior hockey ✅ Why compete level matters more than outcome ✅ The impact of social media and video games on youth sports ✅ Cost barriers and accessibility challenges in modern youth sports Connect with Better Sports Parents: 🎙️ Subscribe for more expert insights on youth sports parenting 📧 Share your thoughts and questions in the comments 👍 Like if you found this valuable Chapters 00:00 Introduction 06:18 Developing Competitiveness as a Youth Player 09:21 Nature vs. Nurture: Can You Teach Compete? 10:15 Understanding When Youth Engage in Sports 12:53 The Four Pillars of Player Development 16:22 Building Strong Parent-Coach Relationships 20:52 Common Parent Concerns: Playing Time & Selection 23:58 Club Philosophy: Healthy Lifestyle Beyond Youth 25:51 Zooming Out: Long-Term Development Goals 32:10 Tiering Young Players: When and How? 39:14 Fluid Systems and Late Bloomers 41:24 Removing Adult Pressure from Kids' Sports 44:42 Steve's Youth Development and His Parents' Approach 47:27 Are We Better Off Now? Accessibility & Free Play 49:15 Connor Bedard's Path vs Patrick Kane's Path 51:20 Teaching Kids to Miss Their Sport 53:01 Multi-Sport Benefits: Soccer's Impact on Hockey IQ 57:57 The Tough Decision: Leaving Home at 16 1:02:56 Fostering Love Without Parental Pressure 1:06:43 The School Sports Debate 1:11:07 The Biggest Challenge in Youth Sports 1:15:32 Trying to Parent in the Social Media & Smart Phone Era Resources: https://nvfc.ca/

S1 · E14

Dec 9, 2025

1:20:02

Andrew Ladd: Fun is the Foundation, Relieving Parental Pressure & Real Mental Tools for Kids

Former NHL captain Andrew Ladd opens up about the hard truths facing kids in today’s youth sports system and what parents must change to help their children thrive. From early specialization to unhealthy pressure, entitlement, burnout, and the myth of the “perfect path,” Andrew shares powerful lessons from his pro career, his parenting journey, and years spent studying youth development after retirement. He also details "1616" - a mental health initiative he founded to equip young hockey players, coaches, and parents with tools to navigate the challenges that arise in both sport and life.If you’re a parent, coach, or athlete, this episode will shift the way you think about growth, motivation, confidence, mental skills, and why fun is the fuel kids actually need. Topics include: • Why today’s youth sport model pushes kids out too early • The critical difference between development and performance • How parents unintentionally block growth • Why success is never linear• The emotional skills kids must learn to thrive long-term • What Andrew wishes every parent understood sooner • How we can rebuild sports into a healthier, more joyful experience Chapters 00:00 Introduction 03:45 Life as a sports parent with three kids 04:30 Multi-sport benefits and free play 06:41 The loss of Free Play for today's kids 10:55 Growing up with inclusion and special needs family members 14:17 The importance of modelling behaviour as a parent 15:16 How Andrew's parents approached youth sports 17:57 Falling in love with hockey 18:56 His grandfather as his biggest advocate 22:07 Being a late bloomer and getting cut from teams 25:00 Playing the long game in athlete development 27:35 Teaching kids what "hard work" actually means 29:12 How coaches and parents unintentionally create pressure 32:36 Career struggles and mental health challenges 38:35 Getting help from a mental performance coach 39:36 Introduction to 1616 and the buffalo metaphor 45:19 Making 1616 accessible to everyone 49:19 The car ride home after the game 55:41 How tools from 1616 might have helped Andrew as a teenager 57:36 Helping today's youth open up about their challenges 59:25 How coaches can benefit from 1616 01:01:55 Advice for youth coaches 01:04:10 Setting expectations with parents 01:06:12 Stop directing your kids from the stands 01:07:33 Social media's impact on youth athletes 01:11:15 Identity beyond sport 01:13:25 Biggest issue in youth sports: Early specialization Resources:https://1616.org/

S1 · E13

Dec 2, 2025

1:17:04

Will Loftus: The Power of Coaching, the Impact of Inclusion & Confidence through Belonging

Will Loftus didn't start playing football until grade 10, yet he went on to win two Grey Cups and play 11 years in the CFL. In this episode, the BC Football Hall of Fame inductee and founder of Game Ready Fitness shares game-changing insights for parents navigating youth sports today. What You'll Learn:✅ Why starting sports late can still lead to professional success✅ The power of multi-sport participation for athletic development✅ How to identify quality coaches who truly develop young athletes✅ When (and if) kids should specialize in one sport✅ Breaking down barriers to sports access for all families✅ The difference between fitting in vs. truly belonging in youth sports✅ How to handle tryouts, cuts, and disappointment with your child✅ Why physical literacy matters more than elite performance for most kids Will's mission through Game Ready Fitness and the Washington Kids Foundation ensures every child has access to quality coaching and mentorship, regardless of background or skill level. His message to parents: Be present. Be your child's biggest cheerleader. You are their greatest coach. Chapters 00:00 Introduction 03:54 The Impact of Youth Sports on Personal Development 05:43 Parental Influence on Will's Youth Sports Experience 07:25 The Role of Multi-Sport Participation 09:31 Transitioning to Football: A New Passion 14:48 The Importance of Coaches and Mentorship 19:02 Football: A Game of Inclusion 22:57 Founding Game Ready Fitness: A New Direction 25:37 Expanding Access and Inclusion in Youth Sports 31:09 Impact on the Entire Family 34:35 Navigating the Modern Youth Sports Landscape 37:03 How do Youth Responsibly Specialize in a Sport? 37:50 Advice for Overwhelmed Parents 40:25 Developing the Whole Athlete 43:14 Building Confidence Through Sports 46:45 Creating a Sense of Belonging 48:52 Navigating Youth Sports as a Parent 51:18 Trusting Coaches and Their Decisions 56:00 The Reality of Competition in Youth Sports 01:00:34 Finding Quality Coaches 01:06:43 Coaches: Take Ownership of Mistakes 01:07:34 The Lasting Impact a Coach can Have Resources: https://gamereadyfitness.com/

S1 · E12

Nov 25, 2025

1:11:21

John O'Sullivan: Don't Make the Talent Mistake, Coaching the Coaches & Parent Accountability

Former NCAA Division 1 and professional soccer player John O’Sullivan, founder of Changing the Game Project, joins Scott Rintoul for a powerful and eye-opening conversation about the biggest issues in youth sports today – and how parents can fix them. From “joysticking” kids on the sidelines to early specialization, car-ride coaching, toxic environments, fear-based decisions, and the loss of free play, John breaks down why so many well-intentioned parents accidentally harm their child’s long-term development and what to do instead. You’ll learn: • Why shouting instructions (“shoot!”, “pass!”, “go wide!”) steals vital reps from kids • How to build motivated, resilient, self-driven athletes • The difference between talent selection and talent identification • What healthy sideline support ACTUALLY looks like • How parents, coaches, and clubs can work together • Why “I love watching you play” changes everythingIf you want your child to truly thrive in sports — physically, mentally, emotionally — this episode is essential. Subscribe for more conversations with world-class coaches, athletes, and experts improving youth sports. Chapters 00:00 Introduction 03:34 Why John launched Changing the Game Project 05:45 “Parents losing the plot” 07:30 The danger of “joysticking” kids during games 09:28 What positive sideline support actually looks like 11:29 John’s own parenting mistakes 13:40 How John’s parents shaped his athletic journey 15:12 The importance of multi-sport backgrounds 20:14 Would John succeed today? 21:28 Why early talent selection fails kids 22:57 Talent identification vs. talent selection 26:00 The most logical North Star in youth sports 29:00 The death of free play & how to bring it back 31:53 Phones vs. play: the changing childhood 34:36 John’s coaching philosophy and how to create joy 37:37 What coach training often misses 40:00 Holding parents accountable in clubs 41:58 How parents unintentionally focus on the wrong things 43:50 “I love watching you play”: why it’s magic 47:20 How do parents eliminate car coaching? 49:47 John’s approach with his own kids 51:56 The FOMO trap in youth sports 55:40 Healthy coach-parent communication 59:18 What responsible tiering really looks like in youth sports 1:04:05 Why development must stay fluid 1:06:13 Kids want to play, not sit 1:08:10 The most common problems John is hired to solve 1:10:18 The growing crisis of access to youth sports 1:12:14 Final thoughts and closing Resources: Changing the Game Project https://changingthegameproject.com/ John's 2014 Tedx Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXw0XGOVQvw

S1 · E11

Nov 18, 2025

1:13:28

Shane Doan: Raising Resilient Kids, Surviving Social Media & Playing the Right Way

Shane Doan, a former NHL player and current special advisor for the Toronto Maple Leafs, shares his insights on youth sports, parenting, and the importance of community in sports. He discusses his own experiences growing up in a small town, the value of playing multiple sports, and the challenges of coaching his own children. Shane emphasizes the significance of letting children experience both success and failure, embracing what's best for the team over the individual, and the role of sports in teaching life lessons. Chapters 00:00 Introduction 03:37 Why Shane Cares Deeply About Youth Sports 04:55 Parenting from the Sidelines 06:20 What He Wanted His Kids to Get From Sports 07:30 Learning as a Parent from Different Sports 08:30 Dealing with Expectations and Legacy Pressure 10:15 Teaching Confidence and Perspective 12:25 Josh Doan’s Journey: The Long Game 14:55 The Kamloops Moment: Testing Desire 17:50 Letting Kids Choose Their Path 19:15 The Value of Failure 20:30 Guiding, Not Controlling 23:05 Learning Through Failure (and a Little Humor) 28:20 Playing the Game the Right Way 31:40 Small-Town Roots: Halkirk, Alberta 33:15 Community vs. Club Sports 36:50 Multi-Sport Benefits and Perspective 38:50 Balancing Club and School Sports 41:30 Longevity Through Athletic Diversity 43:45 Lessons from His Parents 45:22 Managing Pressure and Emotions 49:20 Listening Instead of Fixing 51:20 The “Anything Is Possible” Mindset 53:00 Coaching Your Own Child 55:00 Influential Coaches and Mentors 56:30 Navigating Parental Relationships as a Coach 59:00 Building People, Not Just Players 01:00:30 The Social Media Challenge 01:03:20 Highlights vs. Real Life 01:05:00 Parenting and Social Media Boundaries 01:06:50 The Biggest Issue in Youth Sports Today 01:09:20 Fixing the Game: Rebuilding Understanding 01:12:41 Closing Thoughts

S1 · E10

Nov 11, 2025

1:14:00

Gareth Rees: Access for All, Culture through Community & What are You Being Sold?

Gareth Rees, a proud Canadian who is a prominent figure in international rugby, discusses the multifaceted nature of youth sports. He emphasizes the importance of community, parental influence, and the need for a balanced approach to sports participation. Rees reflects on his own experiences and the lessons learned through sport, advocating for multi-sport participation and the necessity of creating a supportive environment for young athletes. He also addresses the pressures faced by parents and children in the competitive sports landscape, urging a shift in focus from high performance to holistic development. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Gareth Rees 04:25 His Passion for Sports 05:45 Parental Behaviour Youth Sports 07:05 Navigating the Business of Youth Sports 08:40 Where Should Parents Look for Direction 11:00 Gareth's Early Sports Journey and Influences 13:40 The Importance of his Parents Modeling Participation in Sports 15:00 Sports Parents and The Fear of "Not Making It" 17:35 The Value of Independence in Youth Sports 20:45 Choosing Rugby: A Personal Journey 23:35 Comparing Canadian and New Zealand Sport Cultures 25:27 Self-Governance in Rugby and Community Values 29:25 Encouraging Inclusivity & Building Self-Worth through Sports 31:55 Barriers to Accessing Sports 35:00 The Future of School Sports 32:51 Enhancing Access to School Sports 39:00 His Parental Approach Youth Sports 42:40 Navigating Pressure in Youth Sports 44:35 Overuse of "Elite" & "High Performance" in Youth Sports 46:30 Identifying Good Coaching Practices 49:05 Red Flags in Coaching 51:05 Values Instilled Through Sports 53:45 Building Community Through Sports 56:40 The Importance of Mentorship in Sports 58:40The Case for Multi-Sport Participation 01:03:45 Forging a Unique Path in Sports 01:05:40 Access and Affordability in Youth Sports Resources: Gareth's Induction Speech at Canada's Sport Hall of Fame https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Q9WGTaTjgI

S1 · E9

Nov 4, 2025

1:08:18

Travis Snider: The Weight of the Words, Free Play for All & An Elephant on a Pool Cue

Explicit

Travis Snider, a former Major League Baseball player, discusses his transition from professional sports to advocating for youth sports and the evolution of his company, ⁠3A Athletics⁠. He emphasizes the importance of emotional development, the impact of parental expectations, and the need for unstructured play in children's lives. Travis shares his personal experiences with identity crises and mental health, highlighting the significance of communication between parents and coaches. He advocates for a supportive community in youth sports and stresses the necessity of education for parents and coaches to foster a healthier environment for young athletes. Chapters 00:00 Introduction 04:05 Transitioning from Baseball to Youth Sports Advocacy 06:30 Identity Crisis: The Fragility of Self-Worth in Sports 08:45 The Impact of Personal Struggles on Professional Life 17:05 Parenting and Emotional Regulation 24:30 How Travis' Parents Approached Youth Sports 25:15 The Importance of Unstructured Play in Youth Sports 26:30 The Role of Community in Youth Sports 30:00 FOMO: The Fear of Missing Out in Youth Sports 32:35 Ensuring Enjoyment is Present in Youth Sports 35:00 How Are We as Parents Getting Better? 37:00 When Pressure Became Present for Travis 40:57 Generational Impact of Parenting in Sports 43:10 Adversity in Youth Sports 45:00 The Impact of Intensity and Expectations 48:30 Creating a Stronger Foundation for Kids 52:00 Bridging the Gap Between Coaches and Parents 55:25 Prioritizing the Mental Health of Our Children 58:00 Improving Communication in Youth Sports 01:01:20 The Power of Words and Their Impact 01:09:10 Coping With Failure in Sports and Life 01:12:30 The Importance of Modeling Behavior 01:15:43 Resources for Parents and Coaches Resources: https://3athletics.com/

S1 · E8

Oct 28, 2025

1:18:32

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