Episode notes
Shelwin flips the script and interviews Ivan, the creator of the Authentic Leadership Podcast, drawing out the life story behind the voice. Ivan shares his origins (born in Singapore, raised in Malaysia, later moving to New Zealand at 28) and the pressure of growing up gay in a culture where homosexuality is criminalised. He describes an unstable childhood shaped by his father’s hidden criminal life, frequent moving, fear, and periods of being left alone while his mother worked tirelessly to keep the family afloat. Arriving in New Zealand becomes a turning point: Ivan encounters an open gay community for the first time, studies social science, and begins confronting internalised shame, loneliness, depression, and heavy drinking—until survival forces a change. He then steps into pioneering peer support work in Auckland, helping define what peer support and recovery can look like, especially across cultures, while advocating for Asian communities in mental health, suicide prevention, and gambling harm spaces. The conversation returns repeatedly to identity: Ivan’s relationship with his mother’s sacrifice, the complicated grief and love around his father, the later decision to forgive, and the surprising reconnection through daily messages and phone calls. Ivan also reflects on burnout—how passion and responsibility can quietly outgrow capacity—and on stepping away from work, which opened a deeper question: “Who is Ivan outside of what he does?” The episode closes in a tender, ongoing chapter: letting go of old structures, reclaiming creativity, and moving toward a freer, more aligned life.