Season 1
The Story He Told
If Love Could’ve Saved You
He said I changed Said I wasn’t who I used to be Funny how I disappeared While he was changing me Said I was too emotional Too selfish, too damn loud Then told me I should smile more When other people came around I learned to bite my tongue Till I could taste the blood Learned to call control protection And fear another word for love I got so good at being Who he needed me to be I forgot the girl Who used to look like me There were cracks across the mirror I pretended not to see Until one day The woman staring back Looked straight through me That’s the story he told I was crazy I was cold I was everything that broke us He was innocent, I’m told That’s the story he told But he left a few things out Like how he took a woman with a voice And taught her how to doubt Every word Every dream Every damn thing that made her whole Yeah— That was his story But it’s not mine anymore I gave up pieces quietly So nobody heard them fall My work My words My friends Myself Till there was nothing left at all He wore success like armor Everybody knew his name While I stood smiling next to him And slowly took the blame But there’s something about rock bottom When there’s nowhere left to hide You either stay there underneath it Or you fucking decide And I saw my children watching What we taught them love could be That’s when the fear of staying Got bigger than the fear of leaving Let him tell the story Let him say I lost control Let him make himself the hero If that’s what feeds his soul Let him tell them that I broke us That I threw our life away I spent too many years believing him I don’t give a damn What he says Because I know Who I was And I know what I survived He can keep the story I took back my life It took a while to meet her The woman I am now She didn’t come back all at once She had to figure out how How to laugh without permission How to spend the money she made How to write until two in the morning Without explaining why she stayed How to look into a mirror Without hearing someone else How to stop asking everybody If it’s okay To love herself I am not difficult I have boundaries I am not selfish I have needs I am not crazy I remember what happened I am not weak I survived you I’m still a mother Still a writer Still every fucking thing You couldn’t stand to see Because the stronger I became The less You could control me So look at me now Tell your story Tell them everything you need Make me every kind of villain If that’s how you sleep Say I ruined the marriage Say I tore our world apart You can have your version You don’t get my heart Because I know Who I am And God, I finally love her
[Verse 1] I remember who you were before Before the bottles, before the lies Before I learned to read the hurt You tried so hard to hide You were laughter down the hallway Bare feet running through our home I never knew one little pill Could make you feel so alone I watched the light leave your eyes A little more each day And every time I reached for you You slipped further away [Pre-Chorus] I thought if I held on tighter You might remember who you were But I was fighting something Love alone could never cure [Chorus] If love could’ve saved you You’d still be here tonight I would’ve loved the darkness out of you And pulled you toward the light If tears could’ve changed it I’d have cried an endless sea If I could’ve carried all your pain I swear I’d have let it bury me I gave you every piece of my heart But there was one thing I couldn’t do I could love you through the breaking But I couldn’t save you [Verse 2] There were nights I heard you crying Through a bedroom door locked tight Mornings when you swore you’d stop And I wanted to believe you every time Then came anger, then came silence Then the girl I knew was gone I hated what those pills had done But I never stopped holding on And God, I said some things in anger Things I wish that I could take away I didn’t know I was running out Of chances to make you stay [Pre-Chorus] Everybody says I tried Like that should somehow set me free But they don’t hear the question That still won’t let me sleep [Chorus] If love could’ve saved you You’d still be here tonight I would’ve loved the darkness out of you And pulled you toward the light If tears could’ve changed it I’d have cried an endless sea If I could’ve carried all your pain I swear I’d have let it bury me I gave you every piece of my heart But there was one thing I couldn’t do I could love you through the breaking But I couldn’t save you [Bridge] Could I have seen it sooner? Could I have said your name? Could I have found the right words Before the pills took you away? Was there a door I didn’t open? Was there a hand I didn’t hold? Was there one more “please don’t leave me” That could’ve brought my sister home? I’ve asked a thousand questions And none bring you back to me Maybe loving someone doesn’t mean You get to make them free [Breakdown] So I’ll stop asking the silence For an answer it can’t give I’ll remember more than how you died I’ll remember how you lived You were more than your addiction More than every choice you made You were my sister You were Emily And you deserved to be remembered that way [Final Chorus] If love could’ve saved you You never would’ve gone You’d be sitting here beside me Laughing at this stupid song If love could’ve healed you There’d be no goodbye to grieve Because there wasn’t one damn second That you weren’t loved by me I couldn’t stop the ending No matter how badly I wanted to But I can carry your story And tell the world the truth Addiction may have taken you But it doesn’t get all of you [Outro] So when they say your name I won’t let the ending speak first I’ll tell them you were funny I’ll tell them you had dreams I’ll tell them you were someone’s daughter And you were everything to me And if another sister hears this While she’s begging hers to stay I hope she knows that love still matters Even when love can’t take the pain away If love could’ve saved you… Emily, you would’ve stayed.
Finding myself In my own self‑medicate state Making all pain Slowly dissipate Forget all the mess Forget all the names Forget every promise That went up in flames But those dark nights flew And a pale light grew My room felt wide And my mind felt true I felt once again Almost aligned Fine with life Fine with my own mind Fine with life Fine with waking up to my own shine Fine this time Wearing all my scars like they were mine Thought I climbed Out of every echo in my spine Fine with life Fine with life (this time) Then the world cracked open Like a glass on tile Every quiet comfort Twisted into trial My ground crumbled Right under my feet Old ghosts lining up Like we’d never meet Manipulation Exploitation Despair Every single pattern Dragged me back there I fell through the floor With a blank Cold stare This time when I fell I didn’t care Fine with life Fine with waking up to my own shine Fine this time Even when the fault lines cross the sky Say I’m fine As the warning sirens flood my mind Fine with life Fine with life (I lie) I keep saying “I’m fine” ’til the word turns thin Like a shirt that’s torn At the same old trim If I hand you the truth Would you even stay? Could you hold my weight If I broke today? Fine with life Fine with waking up to my own shine Fine this time But the crack keeps running through the line If I’m fine Why am I afraid to close my eyes? Fine with life Fine with life And terrified Why am I afraid to find my shine one more time?