Welcome to another episode of 647, where the news is hot, the satire is spicy, and the truth is served with a side of snark. This week, Chuck dishes out six stories for 7:00 AM—because apparently, the world can’t wait for its daily dose of chaos. From a government shutdown that’s more dramatic than your favorite reality show, to a Department of Ed cash drop, to the “indictment” of James B. “Too Tall Eagle Scout” Comey Jr., we’re serving up the freshest takes (and the freshest conspiracy analogies). But wait, there’s more! The HOB (that’s “Hussein Obama Barack” for the uninitiated) makes a cameo, Tylenol gets roasted, and Big Pharma’s gravy train keeps on rolling. We’ve got UN drama, military musical chairs, and even Bruce “Out of Juice” Springsteen weighing in with political wisdom. If you like your news with a dash of irreverence and a sprinkle  ...