The Realistic Romantic
Stagione 1
Why You Keep Dating the Same Person
di Drew Henry | Attraction & Relationship Expert
How long should you wait before dating again after a breakup? In this episode of The Realistic Romantic, Drew explores one of the biggest mistakes people make after heartbreak: confusing moving on with moving over. From rebound relationships and situationships to dating apps and divorce, Drew breaks down why so many people jump into something new before they've had a chance to process what they lost and who they've become. Along the way, he unpacks what Dua Lipa and Callum Turner's book-inspired love story reveals about modern dating, examines Jessi Draper's relationship timeline, and introduces his personal framework for breakup recovery: The One Week Per One Month Rule. You'll learn why breakups disrupt your identity, how reflection helps emotional recovery, and why dating from curiosity creates better outcomes than dating for validation. If you've ever wondered when you're truly ready to date again, this episode is for you. In This Episode: How long to wait before dating after a breakup The difference between moving on and moving over Why rebound relationships often fail The psychology of breakup recovery How breakups affect identity and self-worth Drew's One Week Per One Month Rule How to rebuild yourself after heartbreak Dating from curiosity instead of compensation Dear Drew This week's question: How do you tell the difference between someone who's good on paper and someone who's actually good in person? Sources & References Dua Lipa & Callum Turner: https://www.eonline.com/news/1432711/dua-lipa-callum-turners-wedding-book-tribute-to-how-they-met Jessi Draper & Marciano Brunette: https://people.com/jessi-draper-clarifies-her-relationship-status-with-marciano-brunette-exclusive-11983622 Who Am I Without You? (Slaughter, Gardner & Finkel): https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167209352250 Emotional Recovery Following Romantic Relationship Dissolution (Larson & Sbarra): https://elifinkel.com/s/Larson_Sbarra_SPPS-2015.pdf Facing a Breakup: Self-Concept Recovery and Well-Being: https://openurl.ebsco.com/fulltext/gcd%3A79650636 Connect With Drew 📧 Email: heyrealisticromantic@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealisticromantic 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@therealisticromantic ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@therealisticromantic If you enjoyed this episode, follow, subscribe, and share it with a fellow Realistic Romantic. Date without delusion.
Are you still holding onto anger or resentment towards your ex? Drew Henry dives into why harboring hate for an ex is a major red flag and how it impacts your ability to find healthy relationships. Learn practical insights on moving past emotional baggage, recognizing unresolved feelings, and ultimately, why indifference is the goal when it comes to exes. Main Topics: The emotional toll of hating your ex and why it’s toxic How long it really takes to get over someone (study insights) The importance of forgetting vs. hating your ex Red flags to watch for when dating after a breakup Strategies for shifting focus from removal to addition in life Why making hatred your identity is detrimental in relationships The power of indifference over hate in emotional closure Timestamps: 00:00 - The red flag: still hating your ex is worse than being in love 00:22 - Why hating your ex could be a sign you're not over them 01:26 - Study reveals it takes twice as long to get over an ex as the time you were together 02:38 - How ADHD brains might get over exes faster due to object permanence 04:52 - The story of forgetting an ex quickly after moving on 06:28 - Red flags for unresolved emotions about an ex 07:54 - Why hating your ex points to unresolved feelings 08:50 - Red flag: hate becomes your entire personality 10:01 - Ramona Flowers’ example of making hatred an identity 11:39 - Recognizing when your ex dominates every conversation 12:25 - The difference between forgetting and dwelling—Taylor Swift’s perspective 14:08 - How to stop hating and start moving on 14:59 - Why fixating on stripping away your ex only intensifies your thoughts about them 15:58 - Focus on filling your life with new activities instead of removal 17:32 - The importance of making peace with letting go 18:32 - The opposite of love is indifference, not hate 19:01 - Final thoughts: Leaving your ex behind with indifference Resources & Links: How Long It Really Takes to Get Over an Ex - Psychology Today Connect with Drew: heyrealisticromantic@gmail.com Instagram TikTok