Stop Parenting & Start Coaching

Stop Parenting & Start Coaching

di Nate Crandall and Steve Galley

Miglioramento personale Relazioni genitoriali

Are You a "Mild Manager" or "Perturbed Prosecutor?!"

Newsflash! Life isn’t fair. Yep, we all know it! And high school sports and competition are no exception. "It's not fair!" -- the common refrain heard among parents and players and yes, even coaches! And guess what? You are probably right when you're screaming "that is NOT fair!" But your teen athlete or performer doesn’t needs a parent who coaches them into Blaming, Complaining, Defending and Explaining. This perpetuates a victim mindset! In this episode, we coach you through the two things you can always control: your perspective and your response. We’ll unpack why complaining feels productive (but usually backfires), how to keep connection strong when emotions run hot, and how to lead like a calm, mild manager instead of an angry, perturbed prosecutor. If you want your teen athlete to build resilience and confidence under pressure, this starts with how you handle “it's not fair!!” The Timestamps 00:00 The Fairness Addiction 03:14 Playing Time and Parental Perspectives 05:59 The Poison of Complaining 08:45 Understanding Coaches' Decisions 11:34 Perspective and Emotional Discipline 13:30 Important Questions for Parents 16:02 The Prosecutor vs. Manager Mindset 18:59 Modeling Behavior for Teens Takeaways Fairness can become an addiction that affects our mindset. Complaining about unfairness can lead to negative outcomes. Life is inherently unfair, and we must learn to accept that. Parents should focus on what they can control in sports. Understanding the coach's perspective can help mitigate feelings of unfairness. Modeling emotional discipline is crucial for parents. Questions can help parents gain perspective on their child's situation. It's important to avoid labeling coaches negatively without understanding their decisions. Parents should strive to be managers rather than prosecutors in sports situations. Maintaining a positive outlook can benefit both parents and athletes. Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify. New episodes drop every MONDAY. We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast! We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley And, there’s more–there always isn't there?! If you’ve read this far you probably are totally nerdy and giddy about helping teen athletes and performers to excel. Click here to pick up our 100% -Nate & Steve

Should I Just Do Nothing?!

Here’s the hard truth: the moment your teen feels evaluated, the conversation gets worse—and so does your influence. In this episode, we help you build emotional safety without lowering standards, and teach you how to stay calm when your teen isn’t. You’ll get simple, real-life ways to respond when things get tense--when you start feeling "judgy"--plus actionable steps you can use today to reduce conflict, strengthen connection, and support your teen athlete’s mindset the smart way. Hang in there because we're going to drop The 5 Second Lane Test, a simple tool you'll want to have in your Parental Toolkit when you are about ready to make a communication error. This tool is dynamite and will help you blow up the old you and allow you to parent from a neutral position!! Let's goooooooooooo! The Timestamps 00:00 Navigating Parenting Challenges 02:58 The Role of Non-Parental Coaches 05:51 Building a Safe Home Base 08:33 Understanding Emotional Regulation 11:29 The Importance of Neutrality 14:04 Action Steps for Parents 16:29 The Five Second Lane Test Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify. New episodes drop every MONDAY. We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast! We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley And, there’s more–there always isn't there?! If you’ve read this far you probably are totally nerdy and giddy about helping teen athletes and performers to excel. Click here to pick up our 100% -Nate & Steve

PARENTS: Are You "The Fixer?"

Here’s the hard truth: your teen athlete/performer might be hiding struggles because they don’t want your common reaction. You tend to activate full-blown Fixer Mode! This doesn't make you a "bad parent" but there is a better way to approach this situation and the opportunity for growth and improved connection is waiting for you. In our bantering and discussion in this episode we call out the mistake we ALL make as parents because we love our offspring so much! We want to FIX their problems for them when sometimes they just want and need us to listen in a way that creates some safety and space to get something off their chest. Asking questions that allow them to be open and honest sets you up to coach your teen athlete/performer into creating their own solutions and building confidence. All without turning every moment into a lecture or a fix it session. Let's gooooooooooo Most Valuable Parents! The Timestamps 00:00 Understanding Teen Struggles 02:33 The Role of Parents as Fixers 05:30 Listening vs. Fixing: The Emotional Safety 08:13 Effective Communication Strategies 10:57 The Detective Approach to Parenting 14:00 Supporting Teen Growth and Independence Takeaways -Teens may hide struggles to avoid parental "fixing." -Parents often jump into problem-solving mode too quickly. -Emotional safety is crucial for open communication. -Listening is more important than providing immediate solutions. -The "curse of knowledge" can hinder effective parenting. -Asking questions can empower teens to find their own solutions. -Parents should adopt a "detective" approach to understand situations better. -Fixing problems can sometimes damage the parent-teen connection. Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify. New episodes drop every MONDAY. We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast! We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley And, there’s more–there always isn't there?! If you’ve read this far you probably are totally nerdy and giddy about helping teen athletes and performers to excel. Click here to pick up our 100% -Nate & Steve

Are You Making this Same Mistake Other Parents are Making?!

Wanna know how to pause, find the “why” behind your reaction, and respond like a calm, high-performance coach—not a panicked or crazed bleacher creature?! Stick with us in this episode because we have some burning questions for you along with a few simple preemptive strikes you can launch before the next competition, plus some communication moves that protect connection with your high achieving teen athlete or performer, especially when emotions run red hot! The Timestamps 00:00 The Common Parental Mistake 03:18 Understanding Emotional Reactions 05:17 The Impact of Highly Emotional Reactions on Relationships 08:00 Navigating a Coach's Substitutions and Your Teen's Mistakes 10:22 The Importance of a Big Picture Perspective 12:33 Preemptive Strike Strategies for Parents Before the Competition Takeaways -Reactions can create blind spots that hinder understanding. -Parents often react without realizing the impact on their children. -Emotional attachment can drive irrational responses. -It's crucial to pause and reflect on a proper response vs. a knee jerk reaction. -Understanding the 'why' behind reactions can prevent misunderstandings. -Parents should focus on what truly matters in competitive situations. -Preemptive strike strategies can help manage emotional responses. -Communication is key to maintaining healthy relationships with teens. -Parents should strive to be aware of their emotional triggers. Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify. New episodes drop every MONDAY. We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast! We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley And, there’s more–there always isn't there?! If you’ve read this far you probably are totally nerdy and giddy about helping teen athletes and performers to excel. Click here to pick up our 100% -Nate & Steve

You Think You Know--BLIND SPOTS!!

If you’ve ever thought, “Why isn’t what worked in business working at home?” you’re not alone. Today we unpack how successful parents can accidentally bring the wrong playbook into parenting their high achieving teen athletes and performers. You’ll leave with simple, introspective coaching questions that expose blind spots and rebuild trust with your teen athlete or performer. The Timestamps 00:00 Exploring Imperfection and Safety in Parenting 03:11 Understanding Blind Spots in Parenting 05:29 The Complexity of Parenting and Teen Relationships 07:02 Assumptions and Their Impact on Parenting 09:51 Navigating Different Parenting Styles 11:43 Questions for Reflection and Growth in Parenting Takeaways -Teens have a high awareness of their flaws. -Creating a safe space for imperfection is crucial. -Blind spots in parenting can lead to misunderstandings. -Understanding a teen's perspective is essential. -Assumptions can negatively impact parent-teen relationships. -Communication should focus on feelings, not just facts. -Self-awareness is key in parenting. -Parents should reflect on their motivations for corrections. -The complexity of human relations makes parenting challenging. -Identifying blind spots can improve relationships with teens. Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify. New episodes drop every MONDAY. We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast! We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley And, there’s more–there always isn't there?! If you’ve read this far you probably are totally nerdy and giddy about helping teen athletes and performers to excel. Click here to pick up our 100% -Nate & Steve

PARENTS: Can SPECIALIZATION Be a GOOD Thing?! (Part 4 of 4)

PARENTS: In Part 4 of 4 of our "specialization series" we tackle the hard questions and attempt to get you thinking about your thinking on WHEN is the time right, if it's right! Exclusive grind with no guardrails? Mmmm, not the way to go. BUT, and this is a big BUT...specialization isn’t automatically “bad”—it can protect joy when the timing is right and the environment is supportive. We give you clear criteria to decide: Is your teen choosing this with energy? Do they have clarity and support? And just as important—do they have an identity beyond being “the athlete”? This is parenting teen athletes with a coaching mindset: connection first, performance follows. The Timestamps 00:00 The Debate on Specialization in Sports 03:13 When Specialization Becomes Harmful 06:09 Criteria for Healthy Specialization 08:49 The Importance of Timing and Support 11:40 Identifying the Red Flags 13:47 Final Thoughts on Specialization Takeaways -Specialization can protect joy but can also be harmful. -Timing is crucial; specialization should be later in teens. -Joy in sports is essential for healthy development. -Parents should focus on their child's happiness, not just rankings. -Overuse injuries and burnout are risks of early specialization. -A supportive environment can mitigate the pressures of specialization. -Athletes should have multiple identities beyond just being a player. -Criteria for specialization include joy, clarity, and support. -The focus should be on the child's experience. Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify. New episodes drop every MONDAY. We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast! We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley -Nate & Steve

PARENTS: Take Your Teen's STRENGTHS SNAPSHOT! (Part 3 of 4)

NOTE: This is Part 3 of 4 in a series on Specialization! You want your teen to succeed—and love the journey while they do it. In this episode, we uncover the secrets behind self-driven performance, fewer injuries, and the joy of playing sports for fun. It all starts with seeing your teen in a whole new way: through the lens of strengths. We’re talking about how to spot your teen’s real strengths, what to do with them, and why the “Strengths Snapshot” tool could change the game for both of you. The Timestamps! 00:00 Identifying Teen Strengths 03:00 The Strengths Snapshot Tool 05:49 Durability and Health in Sports 08:15 Self-Initiation vs. Parental Push 11:11 Secondary Sports and Holistic Development 13:50 Guardrails for Youth Sports 16:39 Long-Term Development and Enjoyment 19:00 Rec Ball vs. Competitive Sports 21:45 Conclusion and Future Topics Takeaways -Identifying strengths is crucial for teen development. -Clarity in understanding strengths leads to better outcomes. -The Strengths Snapshot tool helps assess teen capabilities. -Durability in sports is linked to fewer injuries and better performance. -Self-initiation in practice is more valuable than forced participation. -Parents should observe their teens' self-driven activities. -Balance organized sports with free play for holistic development. -Rec ball can be a valuable outlet for enjoyment and skill development. -Avoid over-specialization to prevent burnout and injuries. -Engaging in multiple sports can enhance overall athletic performance. Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify. New episodes drop every MONDAY. We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast! We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley -Nate & Steve

3 Super Dangerous Sport Specialization Myths Parents Believe! Part 2 of 4)

If you’re like most driven parents of teen athletes, you’ve been told you’ll “miss the boat” if your kid doesn’t specialize early, that early success proves their long-term trajectory, and that more hours always mean more results. In this episode, we unpack and debunk those dangerous myths, show you what college coaches actually look for, and explain why multi-sport focused experience and unstructured play often beat year-round exclusive grind. You’ll walk away with a clearer, saner game plan to protect your teen’s body, joy, and long-term performance. Let's goooooooooooooooooo! NOTE: This is Part 2 of 4 in a series on Specialization! The Timestamps! 00:00 Debunking Specialization Myths in Youth Sports 09:52 Understanding Early Success vs. Long-Term Trajectory 15:02 The Value of Varied Experiences in Youth Sports 16:00 Debunking the Myth of More Hours Equals More Success 18:24 Understanding Organized Sports and Risk Management 19:07 The Reality of College Coaches' Preferences 20:51 The Importance of Unstructured Play 21:51 Recognizing Warning Signs in Young Athletes 24:43 Clarity as the Key to Athletic Commitment Takeaways -Specialization myths can put teens at risk. -Early specialization leads to higher injury rates. -Multi-sport participation promotes long-term physical and mental health. -Parents often mistake early success for long term trajectory. -College coaches prefer well-rounded athletes, not just specialists. -More practice hours do not guarantee success. -Kids need unstructured playtime for healthy development. -Monitoring mood changes in athletes is crucial. -Clarity of purpose in a given activity is king! The Research: Sports-Specialized Intensive Training and the Risk of Injury in Young AthletesJayanthi NA et al. Am J Sports Med. 2015. Overuse Injuries and Burnout in Youth Sports: A Position Statement from the American Medical Society for Sports MedicineDiFiori JP et al. Clin J Sport Med. 2014. Associations of Early Sport Specialization and High Training Volume With Injury Rates in NCAA Division I AthletesAhlquist S et al. Orthop J Sports Med. 2020. Early Sport Specialization Is Not a Prerequisite for Elite Success (AOSSM Consensus)LaPrade RF et al. Orthop J Sports Med. 2016. Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify. New episodes drop every MONDAY. We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast! We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley -Nate & Steve

Should Your Teen Athlete Specialize or Sample? (Part 1 of 4)

If you’re like most high-achieving parents, you’ve probably heard, “If your teen doesn’t choose one sport now, they’ll fall behind.” In this episode, we slow that conversation way down and begin a walk through what specialization actually is, where it helps and where it hurts. We know this is a big deal and you're right in the thick of it. The clock is ticking on your teen's formative years. We get it--we've been there and know what you're experiencing. And we're going to address all angles of the specialization debate in a 4 part series. By the end, you’ll possess more clarity on what’s right for your son or daughter regardless of what everyone else on and off the court, field or stage is doing! Let's get started. Should your teen specialize or sample?! The Timestamps! 00:00 The Specialization Discussion (& sometime debate) Begins 02:10 Defining Specialization in Youth Sports 04:20 Cautionary Tales: The Risks of Over-Specialization 07:12 The Pressure of Performance: Parental Expectations 09:59 Focus vs. Exclusive Grind 12:51 Individual Sports & Specialization 15:26 The Impact of Burnout on Young Athletes 18:36 Awareness and the System: Navigating Youth Sports 21:27 The Importance of Recreational Sports 24:20 Finding Balance: Exposure vs. Development 27:15 Concluding Thoughts: The Path Forward for Parents Takeaways -Specialization in youth sports is a nuanced topic. -Many parents may not openly admit they are pushing specialization. -Over-specialization can lead to burnout and loss of joy. -Parental expectations can create pressure on young athletes. -It's important to define what specialization means. -Rec sports provide a less stressful environment for kids. -Burnout is a significant risk for young athletes. -Self-awareness and awareness of the system is crucial for parents. -Exposure to various sports can benefit long-term development. -Finding balance between focus and variety is essential. Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify. New episodes drop every MONDAY. We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast! We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley And, there’s more–there always isn't there?! If you’ve read this far you probably are totally nerdy and giddy about helping teen athletes and performers to excel. Click here to pick up our 100% Free Thinking Tool: The Question Only Conversation. Give it a whirl today and watch your relationship with your teen athlete or performer trend upward! -Nate & Steve

Is the (High Performance) Machine Raging Against You?

Ever felt trapped in the "machine" of high performance?! Is that machine raging against you?! Today we explore the complexities of high performance in family dynamics, particularly in the context of youth sports with our ambitious, high achieving teen athletes and performers. We will discuss the risk that is present with ambition but also why you as parents should not necessarily run away from it. Communication and agreements will help you mitigate the risk--they are two critical components to help you avoid the traps in the high performance "machine." Through metaphors of ocean waves and lifeguarding, we will illustrate the need for proactive parenting and the value of regular check-ins to navigate the challenges of highly competitive environments. Let's gooooooooooooooo! The Timestamps! 00:00 Raging Against the Machine: High Performance and Family Dynamics 03:25 Navigating the Waves: Understanding High Performance Expectations 05:56 The Silent Tension: Communication Gaps in Parenting 09:00 Preparing for the Unexpected: Conversations with Teens 11:45 Lifeguard Parenting: Being Proactive in High Performance Situations Takeaways -High performance creates pressure and expectations. -Parents often unintentionally place their teen athletes in challenging situations. -Communication gaps can lead to silent tensions in relationships. -It's important to prepare teens for potential risks in high performance. -Regular check-ins can help parents understand their teens' pressures. -Expectations should be replaced with agreements for better understanding. -Understanding the risks and underlying dynamics of high performance environments is crucial for effective parenting. -Parents can act as lifeguards, helping their teen athletes navigate challenges. -Being proactive can prevent kids from getting overwhelmed. Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify. New episodes drop every MONDAY. We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast! We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley And, there’s more–there always isn't there?! If you’ve read this far you probably are totally nerdy and giddy about helping teen athletes and performers to excel. Click here to pick up our 100% Free Thinking Tool: The Question Only Conversation. Give it a whirl today and watch your relationship with your teen athlete or performer trend upward! -Nate & Steve

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