A listener wrote a song about Stroke having sex 38 times in one day and sent it in. You listened to it. All of it. That should’ve been the whole episode — but somehow, it spiraled into a half-serious campaign to let Chick-fil-A run the country, a debate over Pornhub ass-eating stats, and a book called How to Start a Cult. Next thing you know, everyone’s pitching Kool-Aid merch and Stroke is leading a sex orgy interview team in a hazmat suit. Also: funeral desecration in Florida, a Dollar Tree crime ring in Sacramento, a missing flamingo statue in Parma, a bank heist where the money was stored in a goddamn cooler, and Daniel the black guy (probably).

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸

Listener Kenobi wants advice on asking a girl to be his Valentine. The gang tries to help, then mocks him with rejection trauma stories and redh ...