Dolly Parton was asked whether Donald Trump was qualified to be president. Her answer was very Dolly — complete with Presidential Mood Swings, a suggestion that she might run herself, and a joke about Trump’s hair. Meanwhile, Trump has apparently been taking appearance advice from somewhere else entirely, with Anthony Scaramucci revealing the secrets behind his legendary orange complexion — including the Bronx-sourced bronzer Trump allegedly applies himself. Then things get even more absurd: Trump delivers a surprisingly dignified tribute to Dolly before apparently deciding that her refusal to endorse him was actually a sign that she really liked him, RFK Jr.’s phone literally calls him a quack, and America finds itself dealing with a growing wave of disease outbreaks and public-health concerns.

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